I really need to make a trip into the city. We are quickly running out of some of our most important groceries. Bananas!!! However, with this wildly unpleasant weather, I suppose I’ll hold my trip off in hopes of the sun coming out one of these days.

Instead of being productive like some people I know, I spent the day doing, yet again, very little. My Huskie sweats and one of Bradys long sleeved shirts have become my favorite attire. As in, I wear them every day. No lie. So I lounged in comfy clothes all day. Dekker and I had breakfast with my sister Caitlin over Skype this morning, and then played downstairs every other moment he was awake. In between those times, I did the dishes, watched court TV shows, and froze. You know that feeling when you’re adequately warm but you have a chill on the inside? My house has that. Its insides should be warm, but they’re not, and they just can’t seem to shake it.

An opportunity just arose to be productive before my bubble bath! I remember that I finished the honey mustard at lunch, and Brady is headed to make his lunch. Who wants a honey mustard free ham sandwich?! Not I!

It is amazingly cold again out here today!!!

We skipped church today since Brady worked a full day yesterday and we decided he deserved to sleep in. His cold has been totally ruthless and now that we’re FINALLY seeing some improvement, we don’t want to push at all. So, we missed church but still went to spend the day with my parents. This picture is of me the entire drive over. Frozen.

I know everyone is bored with talking about the weather, and that is fine, but in my last post I asked what people wanted to hear and all of my loving friends said things like “We want to hear about what you want to talk about” of things along those lines. And today, the main event has been that I am freezing. I seem to have been hit particularly hard by this cold snap, and am cold constantly. I’ve spent the last week sleeping in sweats and long sleeved shirts which is really unpleasant, since the inside of our quilt is flannel and every time I roll over in bed, everything sticks to me. Not ideal.

I’ll leave you with a really dark picture of my bedtime cuddles with Dekker. If he could just always sprawl across me like he does before bed for a minute or two, I swear, I would never be cold 🙂 Warm thoughts.

If anyone hasn’t noticed, my blogging has sort of gone downhill.

Since Christmas, everyone in my family has been sick. So Dekker and I spend a fair amount of time hanging out at home accomplishing next to nothing. He sleeps a lot, sometimes I watch “What Not to Wear,” and then I have a bubble bath at the end of the day. Not a lot of cute mom stories. As for my crocheting, I’ve felt super discouraged about it recently and haven’t created anything new recently. That being said, I have a few things pending that I just have to get up the nerve to get back to it. So no news there really.

I wonder if my blog would be more exciting if I picked one “angle” sort of, and just worked off of that. I like my blog being sort of a record of my life, something I’ll be able to look back on and see all the good stuff that happened. But I wonder if people would like it more if I focused on one thing more than the other. I sometimes feel like people must read my posts and think the following:

Only I’m lazier. So I’m not sure how to proceed. I don’t suppose anyone would be brave enough to give opinions on this, would you? Anyone have things they like to read about more than others?

Sometimes I feel sad for any males that read my blog and have had to suffer through crochet post after crochet post 🙂 Sorry, boys! Tell me what you want!

Last night I had a meeting in the evening. I left for home around 10pm I believe. What should have been a half hour drive was MUCH longer. All the roads were drifted over and I was stuck behind semis most of the drive. Getting home around 11pm, it was too late to really justify running a bath and having a soak like usual. Turns out my body is kind of super dependent on them now! I found myself dressed in sweats, socks, and a long sleeved shirt, curled up in my bed with our extra-wide and extra-long king sized blanket wrapped tightly around me and over my head, shivering uncontrollably. I’m not exaggerating. I was shaking like crazy, completely frozen. It was rough. Tonight will NOT be a repeat. The bath runs as I type.

On a completely unrelated note, I need opinions. I’ve thought about making my blog a bit more “official” and losing the wordpress chunk of the address. Thoughts? What would the benefits be? Is it worth it? Its not an expensive change or anything, but would it make any difference? Opinions please!

Have a warm night!

You know that feeling you get in your stomach when you don’t get even close to enough sleep? like, suuuper unsettled and gross? I have that.

I woke up just before 2am to Brady coughing. Not his fault, he is so sick 🙁 I kept dozing back out, but his coughs would startle me! Eventually I started almost bracing myself for them, therefore making me completely aware and awake. So. I was awake from 2:00 until about 5:00. Something I really fight with in those times is remembering bad feelings, or crappy situations I’ve been through. My mind goes to crazy places when I’m laying so wide awake for so long. It is not a happy place. But I tried to make it one! On second thought, I should have just bit the bullet and left our room to watch a movie or something.

The first thing that came to my mind and stayed for a while was something we experienced on Sunday. Not a big or riveting story, so don’t hold your breath or anything. A child from church pushed Dekker. Just a little shove, he barely wobbled. But it was a first. She didn’t want to play with him, so she tried to push him away. And you know what, thats fine. There are days I don’t want to socialize with certain people either. I get it. But of course, he wailed and I felt sad for him being left out and all those whirlwind emotions that a mom feels. I collected him from where he stood, and said to the other child that it isn’t nice to push and it is much nicer to share and include people. Thats as far as I went. I cringe when I see people getting down on other peoples kids. Sooo not their job at all. So I figured that was enough and I saved Dekker. So last night, as I was thinking about this tiny little experience, my blood boiled a little. Dekker is pretty hesitant of new situations and I think its pretty great that he went up to play with other kids he didn’t know! But then God took me in a different direction. When the child had pushed him away, he stood there and cried. He didn’t reach back for the toys, or start screaming or anything. He did what he does at home when he wants something he can’t have and we have to say “no.” He accepted it completely, didn’t put up a fight to our answer, but shows us that he is disappointed. I love that about him 🙂 Its like when he wants to bang toys against the TV screen. He’s a strong kid, and that could result in a very unfavorable outcome. So we say “please don’t hit the tv,” he’ll sit down on the floor or drop his toy, cry a bit, and move on. I think that says something about his character for sure.

On a totally different wavelength, I caught myself reminiscing about my summer spent working by the lake at a resort. That was my loneliest summer ever. I have a vivid memory of a time I was cleaning a cabin with one of the ladies, and we disagreed on something. I have no idea what it was, but I remember that it was little. However, the two ladies that ran that place totally ran the show so either way, I was apparently very wrong. Well, she just milked it and heckled me from the other part of the cabin. Didn’t I think I was sooo right, and I just had nooo idea. When the other woman came into the cabin, it all stared back up again. Hailey is sooo mad at me, isn’t that funny? Its a tiny cabin, she was very much cackling with the intention for me to hear. My lowest point. Sitting on the floor scrubbing a toilet, absolutely bawling. I wish, in that moment, I had said “Look, if you’re not happy with me, and I’m not happy here, let’s part ways” and went home. I lived too far from town to walk and had no car. I had no phone or internet. I had trashy books from their store area, and I’m not really a “sit down to read a novel” type of person anyway. I was completely secluded, and that situation made it so much worse. Looking back, I’m sure there was some great reason why I spent that summer where I did, alone. But let me tell you, I had a lot of time to think about it last night, and I really don’t know the answer. I am a people person, so maybe it was me trying out loneliness for the first time. It was awful. I hope to never do it again. And to be fair, the ladies were great people, they were just on the top of the food chain and I felt very much on the bottom. Tough stuff.

Lastly, I got super discouraged about my crocheting last night/this morning. I wonder if actually trying to make it into something is just a dumb idea. Maybe it’ll just be something I do for my family and the select few people who have ordered things from me the last few years. I mean, of course I’d crochet for whoever asked, but make it a “business?” I don’t know. I see too many flaws in my ideas. I wonder if that dream is over. Who knows.

As you can tell, it was a long night of pessimism. I found a positive spin to the Dekker aspect. I decided to be extra thankful for having a husband and son in my house at all times and my parents and friends close by. Crocheting…I don’t know really yet. That one lingers in the back of my mind still. Its not like I have to make any snap decisions, it just feels disappointing.

Wow. Quite a morning already.

My post will be short tonight. Know why? Because Dekker’s cold is on the upswing. Know how I know? Not because he’s less snotty, or not coughing as much. He is so happy 😀 He always is, I know, but today has been different. He found his bedroom unattended and trashed the place. He brings me every stuffed animal so I can make it kiss his face and belly. He is SO ticklish! Even his diaper rash is clearing. My boy is back! Or he will be soon, anyway. Because of his new found joy and energy, we kept him up too late. Oops. It is definitely bedtime.

A side note on the sickness in our house – Brady has had a wild cold for about three weeks and hasn’t had a voice for almost a week. Prayers would be welcomed!

Sleep tight.

Today did not play out like I expected.

I was going to drive to the city for a few things. Brady is working on a house that is our ideal floorplan so I wanted to go take a peek as a perspective buyer. I was just leaving town in my car and saw an elderly man crossing the highway. On foot. Honestly, it is not the first time I’ve seen people crossing the highway like that, I’ve done it! But he was of the slow-moving variety of old people. I stopped at the highway and waited so as to not run him over. He knocked on my car window. I opened it up and he asked me if I was heading to Saskatoon, could he have a ride. Apparently his fan belt broke and he was stranded. I gave him a second look, thinking “I have a baby in my car…” but he looked pretty honest and harmless. So I said yes. My little car proved to be a bit of a challenge for him to enter but he made it, and I proceeded to have company all the way to the city. We didn’t talk much, he was quite hard of hearing, but it was nice to have a quiet ride with someone in the passenger seat. Once in a while, I looked back to see how Dekker was doing. He went from staring at our ride-along, to staring at me with a concerned look on his face, to snoring. Clearly he got over it.

I dropped the man off at his home and headed to meet Brady. Getting out of the car, I had some pain in my back. Its been a bit screwy recently but I’ve been having it adjusted and its been getting progressively better. So I didn’t think about it. I saw “our” house, and then I saw a nearby house that was the exact same floorplan, but mirrored. I love them both. I have a very real desire to move into that exact house. By the time the tours were over, I was walking all crooked and yucky. Sooo much pain! I called my chiropractor and thankfully, they had an opening for me about a half hour later. So Brady came and entertained Dekker while Dr. Mike fixed my back. Because of these events, I opted out of my grocery shop and went straight home. I felt like I accomplished nothing, and was a bit discouraged. But think. If I hadn’t gone, I wouldn’t have been able to drive that man home. Win win.

Once I got home, I found out that according to tracking info, UPS had listed yet another “missed connection.” Our third. This really pissed me off! I had woken up early, turned on house lights, opened the door to our entrance, and wandered around the house so I would be SURE that we wouldn’t miss them. There was a fresh snow earlier and there were no footprints of a missed courier guy. I was pretty freaking furious. I called UPS. I spoke to customer service and (surprisingly politely) told her that we missed our third pick up, and I am more than 100% positive the guy never came. She reviewed the info and after several minutes came back and said the missed connections weren’t in Radisson. Apparently they were between the trailer and the parcel. Which is ridiculous since its been in the city since Thursday!!! So translated, the courier doesn’t want to drive out this far. The rep said it i actually in the hands of Purolator so she would send a message over there for them to call me with more info, since she agreed, it didn’t make sense. I got a call pretty much right away from Purolator, assuring me they had got my message, and would hopefully have an update by tomorrow. Now, I’m supposed to expect a call when someone is coming. Let’s hope anyway. I’m not waking up that early again, just to learn that the courier doesn’t want to make the trek.

So as you can see, not the day I was expecting. But I suppose if things always went according to plan, life would get boring. Wouldn’t want that!

I’m mildly annoyed today. And it doesn’t even have anything to do with lighting my hair on fire last night. Ya, no joke.

But seriously. I’m a bit miffed. My Macbook is pretty outdated. I’m about four operating systems where I should be. Mine is old enough that I can’t jump to the newest one, I have to upgrade a couple of times to get caught up now. I had been told that the initial upgrade would cost around $200. When I recently called Apple, they told me $20. Woohoo! So I paid it and they said everything was in the mail.

For the record, it is. The cost was legit, the cd is coming, I have no doubt. My problem isn’t with Apple. It is with UPS.

Apparently they came to attempt delivery at 9:30am on Friday. I was home and awake, so I’m not sure what happened there. If they just tried to ring the doorbell, it doesn’t work. So maybe they never tried knocking? Whatever. I figured they’d try again today. I know we sleep in around here, but I figured that I would get up as soon as I woke up. That was around 9am. And you know what!! They had come and attempted delivery again at fricking 8:45! Ok, again, I know we sleep later than most, but I feel like a residential drop-off before 9am is a bit ridiculous. A business, sure. But my home? Either way, Brady called them up to see if they could drop it off at the end of the day, or if there was any other option. The person on the phone said it will be any time between 8am and 4pm (helpful huh?) and that if we miss the 3rd delivery, we’ll be responsible for picking it up from (wait for it) the nearest Purolator location! I just laughed! I mean, it might just be better that way, really, so I don’t have to jump out of bed the minute I wake up for nothing. But why does UPS drop off at Purolator? I do not know.

The last thing I want to quickly add on the end here is about my crocheting. I’m not officially “peeved” about this, but mildly concerned. A few people have received their crocheting from me and have not paid. I know my system isn’t perfect, and maybe I should have demanded money first, but it is really my first time actually charging people! I’m not very comfortable with it, and would appreciate if people would just pay. This is not directed to the people who haven’t received their stuff! Only those who have product in hand. Please pay if you would. I am scared of charging you guys as it is, so imagine how uncomfortable collecting is for me.

This morning, Brady and I woke up to our alarm at 8am. Brady felt the best he’s felt in about three weeks, and I felt like I could die. I’m not sick (yet) but my goodness, was I exhausted! It took a while to drag myself out of bed, but we did it. We got Dekker up and ready, and went to church. I feel like we haven’t attended in months, when its only been two missed weeks. Either way, it was great to be back. All of the little babies I love have grown up so much for the last little while, and I fee like I’ve missed so much. Yet, I can attest to Dekker’s crazy changes over the last two weeks as well. He walks like a champ, for one thing, his hair is much longer, and he really doesn’t look like a baby anymore. He’s a toddler. A little man. Craziness.

My current favorite pat of his new self is his love for cuddles. Dekker is very busy and doesn’t usually sit still for very long at all. However, he reaches for me so much these days! Normally, he sees me all day and sees his dad only in the evenings. So when Daddy is home, he is king. I understand that. Instead of getting jealous and frustrated, I find joy in the fact that they love each other so much. But being wanted feels amazing. Even sometimes when Dekker is being held by someone else, he’ll reach out to me for a hug. He’s not necessarily trying to get to me, but he wants me. Also lately, he is fairly easily tearful. It doesn’t take much to get him started, and sometimes we have little to no idea where his tears came from. But it is so wonderful how, in some situations, all he wants is to sit on a lap with a book. He really is growing up.

I’ll end my post with a poor quality picture. Dekker just had his bedtime milk in our bed with us. Before he went to his own room, Brady went to refill the humidifier we have running in his room to help with his cold. Dekker lay flat out on me and just breathed while I sang “This Little Light of Mine” over and over. I love those times.

We had my best friend from high school over for the evening. With him, she brought our newest friend. Lots of honey chicken and chatting later, it was 11:45pm and they’re on their way back home. It was wonderful to catch up with a friend and make a new one! Thank you guys so much for coming out so far to hang out with us. We like you.

I feel like Brady and I are having more and more company these days. I am absolutely loving it, and feeling a little sad that it has taken us 3.5 years in this house to have the nerve to get over the distance and invite people over. I have found that people are often happy to make the trip, but I feel guilty about the drive. No more. I love having people over! The house is nothing fancy, and the food isn’t exceptional, but we love our friends, the food is hot, and the house is lived in. I feel most comfortable in places like that, anyway.

Grrr! I started writing this post before midnight, I swear! Oh well, its gonna be short and sweet anyway. It was a really good evening, but I am now freezing and hungry for second supper.