Three years ago, I delivered my firstborn. My son, Dekker Thomas. I feel that these years have whipped by, as everyone told me they would, and it seems that each year goes faster. Didn’t we just have his second birthday party? His life began as an incredibly low key, and, dare I say, easy delivery. It has flourished since then, as our boy has learned and grown and become more of his own person. He feels BIG, no matter what emotion. Yes, when he is scared, he is SCARED. When he’s disappointed, he is really DISAPPOINTED. But when he is happy, he is THRILLED and DELIGHTED and INCREDIBLE! I love that about him. I know everyone doesn’t always get to see the happy side of him, and maybe they see more of the fear. But trust me when I tell you that Dekker is a pure and complete delight. When I prayed for a baby four years ago, he is EXACTLY what I wanted! God is good. 

So is Dekker. I adore you, my son. I couldn’t be happier that you were born, those three years ago. Here’s to many, many more! *proud mommy lifts juice box* Happy birthday, my love.

It rained and thundered overnight and was just wet and cool in the morning. It was pretty great actually. The kids were in good shape upon waking up, and it seems some of my first trimester fatigue is passing. I’m still a bit nervous to stop taking my barfy med before bed, though. I might give myself a couple more weeks just in case. I hate being nauseous. Plus, the last time I missed one, I didn’t feel sick as much as I felt ridiculously sluggish in the morning. So I’ll keep on that until I’m feeling really rested, and then see what happens.

All of that aside, I want to talk about something I may or may not talk about a lot over the coming months. I have a friend who just had her second baby, a girl, a couple of weeks ago. She used to read everyday, so sorry if you’re reading this and its weird!!! *fast wave in your general direction* Anyway, she delivered her baby when she was just shy of 27 weeks pregnant. While The little sweetie is thriving and doing surprisingly well, my heart breaks for her daily. I think of them daily. I have a sticky note up on my bathroom mirror with their family’s names on it, so I think to pray for them every time I’m in there. And I’m pregnant, so thats a lot. I know I’m just twelve weeks in, but I think about labor a lot. I try not to, because I know worrying helps no one. And I know that, as crazy as Laela’s birth was, it was uncomplicated and resulted in a very healthy baby and a physically healthy mom. Still working on the rest of me though 😉 Anyway, while the enormous size of my kids has sort of been a novelty, almost like bragging rights, I am scared that they will get bigger. I don’t know how much bigger I can deliver! If you’ve ever met me, I’m not an especially large person. I know the human body can do wonderful and crazy things, one of which was allowing my narrow frame to deliver a 10 lbs 10 oz baby. I know I can do it again. But it something I think of, and if I’m totally honest, I fear it a little.

But then my girlfriend goes and delivers this tiny little baby, all 2 lbs 4 oz of her. And it just breaks my heart to think of that! I ave always felt so safe once my babies are born. They aren’t really that fragile, if they get sick, I don’t have to worry too much, stuff like that. Honestly, they both had decent neck control the day they were born. I’m so sad that my friend and her family can’t have the same level of comfort that I have. Though I am confident that God will use that incredible NICU team to keep their baby safe and strong, I am incredibly thankful for my massive, sturdy, endurababies. What a gift those huge kids are to me! 

This is just me trying to find positives and motivators, and things to be thankful for. And if I don’t get my massive, full term baby, and instead am given a tiny micro preemie fighting to keep their lungs open with each breath, I know I have a solid girlfriend who can relate to me and help me and comfort me. 

I am so, sooo taken care of. God really surrounds you with the right people at the right times. I only wish I could be a help to her. Or anyone who needs help. I hope everyone knows they can always ask me, whether they know me well (or at all) or not. Because I will sure try.

When I woke up this morning, I felt incredibly refreshed. I have felt incredibly tired the last few (or fifty-ish) mornings, but I think any mother can relate to waking up to your body being ready to wake up, rather than to squawking, angry kids who apparently needed you two minutes ago. Don’t get me wrong. I expect to wake up 360 mornings a year like that, and I am happy to wake up and serve my children. But it is sooo nice when you’re not needed immediately and you can wake up slowly. Right? Anyone else? Hopefully I don’t sound like a terrible person here…

I woke up to a beautifully cooled off house, with my fan blowing on me, and nice outside noises coming in through the windows. It was almost sad to close up all the windows, but necessary in order to keep the house cool. Plus, as many of you in Saskatchewan would know, we were on severe thunderstorm/tornado watch today. Of course, our town in particular didn’t see a single drop of rain, but there are still a few hours left in the day. I could go for a good storm. 

I had a really good day with the kids. Laela is getting better and better at eating solid food, so she had bananas and peanut butter bread and Cheerios and carrots and all kinds of nummy things with us today. She’s a cutie pie. Dekker did great too, and was really nice and cuddly. While he is still adjusting to Laela’s mobility and not having everything to himself, we just remind him to be polite to Laela, and he is. He gives kisses and feeds her Cheerios, and even offered her his firetruck at one point. So we’re getting there!

Brady had a rocky start to his work day, but it all went really smoothly and he got out of there a bit sooner than he expected, which was great. He picked some groceries up for us before coming home. We had chicken strips and potatoes for supper, with our one fresh garden cucumber. Delicious. Once the kids went to bed, we watched the finale of the Next Great Baker. I won’t expand on it, since I know I would spoil the surprise for at least one friend, but we did that, anyway. Soon, we’ll be in a cool bath with hopefully a delicious snack. I really feel like chocolate pudding tonight. And not like a pudding cup. Goooood pudding. So I may just whip up some instant stuff before the bath, and hopefully that will do the trick. 

I hope you guys had as great and comfy of a day as I did! Sleep deep!

Time to rest your sleepy head…

Does anyone else have the Sleepy Baby pop-up book? Its a gooder.

Our day wasn’t riveting, to be honest. I bought a set of baby monitors off a woman for $15 so I can bring a set to my parents house and friends houses where my kids need to nap. We’ve just been looking for an extra set for cheap, and now we have them. That was probably our “event” of the day, and not a whole lot else. I wanted to be ambitious, but it just didn’t play out.

It seems like, since I’ve been able to be public about our pregnancy, my body has decided it can really really feel pregnant now. Today was the first time in the last twelve weeks that I have gagged my way through diaper changes. Gagged. They were sooo gross today, for some reason. I hope the next couple of weeks give me some relief from that!

Laela wouldn’t nap this afternoon so she and I talked to Bradys mom on the phone for a while. Once we were done on the phone, Laela ate an entire banana, and drank some milk before Brady got home. He came bearing an enormous box of my earl grey kcups, courtesy of Amazon. And Twinings. Delish.

After supper, we went downstairs for about an hour to play and read. but Laela would have none of it. She was sooo loud and fussy, and obviously tired. We distracted her and played with her until it was time for her last bottle of the day. And she fell asleep drinking it, all cuddled up with me in the recliner. It was awesome. I didn’t have the nerve to wake her. I even carried her upstairs, like a bit ‘ole baby.

She’s not too fond of being carried like that anymore 🙁 Good thing my newer model is on order! 😉

Once both littles were safely tucked away, I went outside to check the garden. We have our first uber-cucumber, and our corn grew beards!!

I can’t wait for the rest of the garden to produce and to be able to finally enjoy the harvest!!

All in, this lazy day was really exactly what I needed after being so busy the last week, and so stressed out the week before. A quiet day with the kidlets. I love my kids.

I was planning on staying home and having a lazy jammie day with the family, and I did that for the morning. Until the crazy realization came to me that Dekker turns three in four days!!!!! My goodness! Crazy, right? I have almost all of his presents together, but was hoping for one more thing. So Brady suggested I take the afternoon to myself and go to the city to accomplish some of the stuff we need done. Since I was actually getting dressed and partially put together, we took my first belly pic.

Ugh. I don’t know whats up with my phone but all of a sudden, the pictures are tiny and crappy quality, and I didn’t change a thing! What the heck?!?!

I went to a bunch of different places, looking for a few specific things for both Laela and Dekker, and was moderately successful. i can honestly say that Target is a bust. I was sooo hoping for good things when they came here, but I really just wasn’t impressed with anything I saw there. But I had a bit of success at Walmart, and Superstore. I bought myself some maternity clothes at Old Navy, since they finally got some new jeans. I haven’t been able to find my size the last few times I’ve looked, but the mat jeans shelf was stocked well, and I found exactly what I was looking for, plus some tank tops on a really good sale. Win! I bought some groceries, but of course forgot apples, which are a daily requirement around here. But I got pretty much everything else. I stopped at Costco on my way home and grabbed all our essentials, plus sleepers, because how could I not?, and then headed home.

I was pretty tired upon arrival, but the kids were just getting up and were pretty cute and low key. I lay on the couch, and Dekker pulled up a chair and brushed Laelas hair while she drank her bottle. It was completely adorable.

He’s pretty focused, as you can see. It was so cute! And yes, he is in a diaper and rubber boots. He’s funny that way.

We ate perogies and wings for supper, and spend the last hourish downstairs. The kidlets were tired and really acting that way, so we turned on the end of a movie and cuddled. It was nice and quiet and low key. I loved it.

The littles were good and tucked in just shortly after 7:30, and now Brady and I are going through our evening routine. I blog, he makes his lunch, we run a bath, etc. Usually we check and water the garden but it rained quite a bit yesterday and has been spitting on and off all day, so I think we’re good for tonight. Tomorrow will be the quiet day I was planning on having today, and I’m really looking forward to it. I know some people would be bored to be me, but I love our quiet days and our low-stress activities. Especially now when I’m low on energy and have been feeling so dizzy. These are the days to take a load off.

It was so nice to finally be able to share our news with everyone yesterday, and the response on Facebook was overwhelming and just plain awesome! I love that other people, some who I’ve known personally for years, and some just from a distance, are totally psyched and in celebration over our third child 🙂 I know we are sure pleased!

Can I be flat out honest with you guys? Brady and I were more nervous to share this time.  For one reason or another, we were scared that lots of people would be less happy for us. I was immediately hurt when some responses weren’t as loving as I’d hoped, or as excited as I thought they should be, but I had to come down from there as fast as I could, because you know what? I’m excited!!! Like, really really excited! So is Brady! Is this is our baby! No one elses. Ours 🙂 And Gods, obviously, since he’s allowed us to be pregnant and carry the responsibility. All I’m trying to say in this is not that I’m disappointed, but that I had to realize that I put a lot of importance on something that isn’t the end all and be all. Everyones opinions don’t matter. Its hard, being a people pleaser, to think that way, because I want people to feel like I feel, and to be happy when I’m happy. Doesn’t everyone want approval, deep down inside? I’d say so! But life moves on. And we are thrilled out of our skin that I am carrying another baby!!!

So many of you were enormous supports through our last pregnancy, I can’t wait until the day comes closer and we can start guessing about baby’s gender and wager on the birth weight and all that fun stuff! Guys, I really really thought I’d know for sure what I was having this time, since my first two pregnancies were sooo opposite, but I have no idea!!! I have some factors that lean certain ways so I think I’ll post about them soon, just for fun, and see if you guys care to wager any guesses. Maybe you know more of those games/wives tales than I do 🙂 But I’m really looking forward to going through another pregnancy on here! I promise, I won’t just focus on that, since its not everyones cup of tea, but as I’m sure you can guess, its kind of a huge part of our lives! Thanks for being excited with us.

*** For those of you reading this, thinking Brady probably hates it when I say WE are pregnant, he doesn’t. He did play a role in this whole thing, obviously, so he is indeed expecting a baby to be born into our lives! Just in a considerably less dramatic and physically painful way, haha! Lucky guy!

The belly is starting, and will likely make its first appearance on here very soon 🙂 Happy 12 weeks, baby Jim!!!

But I’m somewhere in that zoooone!
I’m done being a downer. The last week or so has been incredibly emotionally charged. Any of you who have talked with me know my reasons, and have backed me beautifully. Those of you (you know who you are) have met a great need. I needed that backup and those listening ears. You will be happy to know, if you don’t already, that I am done. I am content. I have peace.
Now that I have it, I want everyone to know our incredible news! We are growing our family of four into five!!!!! In that case, I am BOTH elated and gassy 🙂 whoops! Brady and I couldn’t be happier to be adding another munchkin to our bundle of super adorable children. The kids are excited too!
Well ok, maybe Laela has no idea. But Dekker does! Since the day we told him about our baby, he has requested a “nunner Laela.” So a girl, I guess, is what he means. I love how much he loves his sister. He’s also dubbed the baby as Baby Jim, so that will be the nickname until official names are chosen.
For the details, I’ll be twelve weeks on Sunday, due date March 2, 2015. I’m incredibly light headed and a bit unsettled in the tummy but not too sick. No complaints really at all. Just waiting 🙂 and waiting. I’m sooo glad we’re almost through the first trimester!!!!!
So, behold our news 🙂 I’m so happy to share it with all of you guys!

Can’t wait to meet you, Baby Jim!!!

All of my siblings are out visiting right now, and I finally got to spend some time with them! I brought the kids over for the afternoon and Brady came after work. And it was completely awesome! We just visited when Simon and Grace and the boys were over, so Dekker remembers them pretty well. And he remembered Caity and Stef from being out there just the other week, so he was right in his element. 

Burgers were barbecued while the kids played baseball outside with the uncles. Dekker was soaked in sweat and fit in wonderfully. It does my mommy heart good to see him warming up to people, and let me tell you, my family gets really loud when we’re all together! So the fact that he can get right in there and enjoy himself is pretty exciting. Go Dekker go!!!

After an enormous supper, the nephews went down for night. It was definitely bedtime for our kids too, but we wanted to visit just a little bit longer. Plus, Laela had a late nap, so we new we could afford the time. We had some ice cream and sat around the living room, visiting, while Dekker climbed behind the couch, underneath our legs, and mooched extra dessert. It was a good evening.

It was sad to leave, but we’re going back tomorrow for the day. Looking forward to a bit more family time before everyone goes their respective ten hours away :/ Love you, family!

Before any grows an opinion on my new hair, I want to throw it out there that I LOVE IT! Not only did I love being at the salon for a solid 2.5 hours, but I love the outcome. Here’s the progression:

The end result! Believe it or not, its not actually that different than previous cuts! Its actually quite similar, my hair girl just styled it down instead of up in a poof like I do every single day of my life. Its the same length (aka shortness) on both sides, and in the back. I just had no idea the top was as long as it is!! Crazy, hey?

I’ll reiterate that I completely love the color. I’m sad to say it will fade out with a handful of washes only, but it was hardly any extra money, so I will likely keep trying out these fun pastel tones each time. In my opinion, pastel experiment part one is a complete success!

After my hair appointment, I went downtown to apply for passports (ours expired forever ago and I want to go on a holiday one day!) and I picked up some pants that I was getting hemmed at lululemon. Believe it or not, both of those errands together took a total of 18 minutes. No line at the government building at all!!! How great is that?!

I ran around a bit after that. I shopped unsuccessfully, got a chiro treatment, bought coconut milk for a new recipe, and picked up some Starbucks. I had a few other places to hit but I was feeling pretty tired, so I figured the rest could wait. Rethinking that, I probably should have tried a bit harder to get a few more things done, but I wanted to really enjoy today, and doing more would have been work and not play. Hopefully that was a good decision.

On my way home, I stopped to drop in at my parents house. All of my siblings are officially out for the rest of the week, and my mom had expressed interest in seeing my hair all fresh and new. So I had every reason to go. And I’m glad I did. It was nice to be part of the group for a few minutes before going home. We’ll be over there tomorrow afternoon and evening, so I’ll look forward to more time with all four of my siblings, my nephews, and my parents. Its always wonderful to be all together.

The end. I’m tired, and I haven’t had supper yet. A donut does not count! But seriously, today was awesome. I really enjoyed the time off, the music in my van, and getting pampered a little. I really enjoyed getting pink hair. Its been a great day. Hopefully tomorrow is equally awesome 🙂 For all of you guys, too.

I will admit, going from a spontaneous birthday party with Jerilee yesterday, to being alone today felt really, really alone. What I would have done for some company!! Dekker asked for his auntie aaaaall day. It seemed to be a bit of a day where I was just sort of on edge. All. Day. The kids were whining fairly non-stop, and everyone was overheated and feeling gross. Not our best day.

One notable thing that happened today was that Dekker finally found his K sound!!! This is a huge bonus when ones name is Dekker and not Detter. I was so excited, and went over every word with him that I could think of that he often mispronounces this way, and we celebrated each correct pronunciation with lots of hooting and hollering and high fiving. Book. Woohoo!!! Circle. Woohoo!!! Work. Woohoo!!! Snack. Woohoo!!! Stickers. Woohoo!!! Sooo many words, all said right. Its cool that he has developed this sound on his own, without me getting on his case. Success!

Other than that, today was a bit rough. I had good friends that I texted a bit here and there, and a loving husband who came home, plucked the crying children from my surroundings, and actually brought me supper downstairs so I could just have some peace. I did surface and spend the last half hour before bedtime with everyone, and helped get the kids down. But they are now tucked in and Brady is headed out to do some mowing. 

I can happily say that I won’t be a downer much longer. I’m sure a lot of you are getting bored with my lame sauce attitude, and I promise you I’m doing what I can to change it. But tomorrow, Brady has worked his butt off to give me a few hours away. I know I had some away on Saturday, but I haven’t had my hair done since mid-May and my hair girl only works on weekdays during common work hours. So this is the only way I can get my hair redone. I’m really looking forward to a couple of hours in her chair, getting beautified. After receiving an awkward amount of hate on the last cut, I’m thinking I’m not going to make my ideas public this time, haha! I’ll do as I want and hopefully people can keep their rude comments to themselves. Bambi rule, ok? Feel free to hate it, just not to my face, to my inbox, or to my husbands face. Not ok.

After my appointment tomorrow, hopefully I’ll get in with Dr. Mike as well, and then I have a few little errands to run. An entire afternoon, left to my own devices!!! I’m pretty sure I have tons to do tomorrow and won’t really get to move slowly, but at least its a change of scenery, and thats what my sanity needs right now. 

So yay for tomorrow!!! Today wasn’t so hot but I’m sooo excited to go on a date with my new purse tomorrow. She needs a name…