The Daily Hailey

Firstly, I just have to say that I was trying to come up with a play on words for an update on Dekker. Dekker date was my main contender, but that is just what I call a date with Dekker. So then I was thinking an up-Dekker, but that made me think of an upper decker which is a mean thing that people do to people’s toilet tanks, so I opted for a more boring title. Deal with it.

Secondly, I want to thank everyone for their warmth and concern yesterday. I’m sorry if I didn’t respond to your comment on here, Facebook, or a private message you sent. I don’t want to seem dramatic, but I was very broken yesterday. Why should my baby, at such a young age, have to adjust to yet another miserable fact of life?! I was somewhat devastated and didn’t have the energy to respond and thank everyone separately. Know I’m thankful though, please. Your prayers actually made a big difference. I’ll tell you about that in a minute. But seriously, last night was just too big of a night for me. I couldn’t even bring myself to re-read my post like always. I’m trying, guys.

After Dekker’s appointment, we went to my parents house to talk to my mom about the news and basically so I could have a good cry. Brady has had the better part of the last two weeks at home with us. He also had yesterday off, so he could come to the appointment and be part of that. But today, the day Dekker was to begin patching, Brady was back to work. I was terrified. I bawled to my mom about how scared I was to try and start that process on my own. I don’t have enough hands to hold both of his arms down, hold his head while he flails, and put the patch on properly. My mom was sooo understanding and encouraged me very much by saying that I didn’t need to rush! He had gone two years without a patch. A few more days would be ok. She basically assured me that if I just chose to wait until Saturday to start so Brady could be home to support us, that it would be ok and would not make or break Dekker’s vision in the long run. She was right. I made the decision right there with my mom and my husband that we would wait until the weekend. As the evening pressed on, I was more sold on the choice I had made. For my own sanity, we would wait.

And the prayers poured in. They must have. Because I felt a bit stronger. Maybe a bit more confident. I decided to give a patch a try. Just once. And if he fought hard enough that I couldn’t get it on him, then we’d just wait. But I knew I could try. So when I heard him start squealing in the morning, I went to his room and got him up for the day. We had a full day planned and I was very comfortable in my decision to stop if it didn’t work today. We did his stuff in order in his room – diaper change, clothing change, and then glasses. So when he was all dressed, I quickly lay him back down and just tried to go good and quick and get his patch on. Not being exactly a pro at this yet, I fumbled around clumsily, while he started thrashing around. I got it partially on, but it was folded and wrinkled and awful. I held him for a moment while he finally composed himself and stopped trying to tear it off. By then, however, the patch was in pretty rough shape. So I pulled it off. He hated that almost as much,

It would appear I am a sucker for punishment. I went for it a second time. A little different this time though. I gave him the box of the patches to play with, and told him what we were going to do. Of course, he still did everything in his power to stop me from putting the patch on, but every time he lifted his hand up, I lay it back down, and eventually he gave in. 

Well he wailed. He was sooo upset. I was amazed that thing even stayed on through all of those big crocodile tears. He was just screaming away. I walked him out into the dining room but he didn’t want to be put down just yet. Meanwhile our plumber was coming out of our basement and at his first glimpse of Dekker, he looked concerned and asked what happened to his eye. I explained to him our situation and he was genuinely compassionate. He spoke to Dekker and said that his mommy and daddy were making good decisions for him. I could have hugged him. Not only was he silently encouraging us, but he was also taking Dekker’s mind off of the new situation he was in. Once he had left, Dekker was ready to eat. I gave him his banana right away, which seemed to help settle him too.

Once he was done eating, I asked if he wanted to go play toys downstairs. I figured that would be his best option since its his normal routine. He was very happy with the idea. He didn’t want to go down the stairs on his own though, and I don’t blame him. I would be scared too. So I carried him down. Once he saw his toys, he squirmed to go down. As we had done when he was getting used to his glasses, I immediately went to grab some toys to occupy him. It seems like kids always get into the most trouble when they’re bored, right? So I figured constant entertainment would be our best bet. I went and grabbed his two drumsticks and encouraged him to come over and play his drum. And he BURST our crying. He sat down on his bum and just let fly. He was sooo overwhelmed. So instead of toys, we just had a cuddle. A big, drooly, crying, shrucking cuddle. My poor boy.

As I’ve said in the recent past, I can’t hold him for very long anymore. So before my body gave out, I sat down on the couch with him in my arms. He stayed very close for probably a solid half hour. Gradually, he moved to sitting normally on my lap, then on my lap with a toy, then in front of the couch, and then he went off to play. It was just a very strange thing to observe. He was up for hours before he talked at all. I finally got one “roar” out of him but otherwise, he wouldn’t say any of his words, make any of his sounds, or even come for a kiss. And his mom really needed a kiss 🙁 He was very hesitant, and I can’t blame him. Every little biff was way scarier. He took everything much harder. it was just plain tough.

It didn’t help that I had a doctors appointment right over his normal nap time. But again, I decided we’d just go with it and see how it all played out. I figured we’d start out with the patch and not put any big pressure on if it just needed to come off. So I got him all ready to go, and got myself ready to go as well while he had lunch. Minutes after getting on the road, he was out cold.

That boy was WIPED OUT! Can’t blame him.

We met up with Brady on the outskirts of the city and drove in to the appointment together. I’m 36 weeks and a few days, which puts me up to the point for the last few tests they want to take before I’m officially full term on Saturday. They checked my urine and my blood. No biggie. Unlike my pregnancy with Dekker where everything was flawless basically, my blood test revealed that I’m right on the edge of my hemoglobin being low. They like to see over 100 in pregnant women and I’m 101 so just barely there. So I’ll take iron. No big deal. Also, she said there was a touch of protein in my urine. She said it wasn’t enough to be afraid of the usual things, but suggested that maybe I hadn’t eaten enough that day. She asked, and I realized that I hadn’t eaten all day! My entire day had been focused around entertaining and occupying Dekker, and I hadn’t made time for eating in there at all! So she told me to make sure I ate more snacks and to be a bit more careful, because my body was starting to digest and expel protein. However, she also understood that I’m not in starvation mode or anything, but I’m looking out for Dekker. It was good to get the reminder though that I have another little one to look out for, and that involves eating. So while those answers weren’t perfect, I did learn that baby’s head is fully engaged and ready to go! So no more risk of her flipping around or anything scary like that. My doctor says its a really good sign that she fits well in my body and bodes well for a smooth delivery, which I was happy to hear. She is frightfully low, but if I remember correctly, they don’t exactly just fall out when they’re fully cooked. Takes a bit more effort that I am more than happy to make! All things considered about that appointment, I was pretty happy with my answers. Can’t wait for her arrival!

After the appointment, we headed to the grocery store to grab a few things, and then went to Hailey’s place. Her super artistic friend, Viona, wanted to try her hand at belly painting and, surprise surprise!, I have quite the canvas! So we all enjoyed a SUPER delicious supper of scalloped potatoes, ham, and hot veggies before getting to the painting. She painted on me while Brady got Dekker up from his nap and got him fed. It took both of us to get his new patch on. He was not impressed with the idea at all. But same as in the morning, once it was on he left it alone and ate his supper. He played with the puppy and Haileys boys, and Brady even took all three kids downstairs for playtime. Thanks, my love! The three of us ladies just sat upstairs and talked about babies, marriage, life, sex, and caddy girl things 🙂 I loved it. I’m feeling a bit choked that I didn’t ask what Viona’s business name is 🙁 but guys, my tummy came out looking sooo pretty!

 

So there’s a little empty spot on the one side. It was intentional. We put baby girls name there after the picture was taken 🙂 As if you can all know already!! No offence, but no. 

Once all was said and done, it was about 9:15, so we bailed out. We still had to go get Bradys van, which I had forgotten about. I’m always so sad when I can’t drive home with my husband late at night. But it worked out. Dekker slept the whole way home, which was a huge relief considering how loud our drives are on good days, much less the super challenging ones like today. 

Dekker went to bed pretty hard. He cried a lot and once his patch was off, he seemed further confused and couldn’t figure out how to focus on anything. I”m not going to lie. I’m glad today is over on that level, yet I’m worried tomorrow will be worse. However, we will be home tomorrow. Some of our friends are coming over which will be a nice way to keep occupied and honestly, I can always use company. But at least Dekker will be in a familiar place with his familiar toys and will be able to be at peace to a degree anyway.

Please keep the prayers pouring in. We definitely still need them. All of us.