This morning, Brady and I woke Dekker at 8:30 and got him fed and ready for the day. Laela was still out cold at 9:00 so I changed her diaper, put her in a fuzzy sleeper, and put her and a bottle in the car seat. We arrived at our doctors office right at 10:15 and got in about fifteen minutes later. Laela was silent the entire wait and appointment, and Dekker only got fidgety towards the end, so that was a huge relief!
When Dr. Guselle came in, her first questions were about completely unrelated things. She asked what our latest game plan was for Dekker’s eye, and whether or not we had a surgery date yet. She asked how we were doing with Laela, and she asked about my mood. I told her it wasn’t awesome and I couldn’t get in with my counsellor until December 23rd. She reminded me that I could certainly start a medication if I chose to, and that it would take 4-6 weeks to start working, but I told her I would rather be in the place that I am than trying to adjust to a new medication over Christmas. She is great, and didn’t pressure me at all. We talked a bit about the next time we’d see each other and how Laela was eating, since her next appointment is mostly just to check her weight. I loved all the questions. She never once pulled up any info on her computer. She just knows us, and remembers. I love that.
Finally, she asked to look at my ingrown toenail. I was kind of embarrassed of it, but she just laughed and said “You know what I look at all day. This is nothing.” She didn’t even have me sit up on the table, she just crouched down on the floor to look at it. While she was down there, she actually picked up a piece of cracker that had flown out of Dekker’s mouth at some point and threw it in the garbage. I scolded her right away for touching my sons pre-chewed food, but she just laughed at reminded me that also was nothing, as she has four kids.
Bottom line – I have to get a procedure done on my toe š I cannot BELIEVE it has come to this! I’m kind of horrified. I know a lot of you probably don’t want to know these gross details, so if thats you, stop reading! My toe is no longer just irritated and sore. There is a large bump growing out of the side. Dr. Guselle says its a big ball of scar tissue that won’t go down without an excision, which she doesn’t do. I’m pretty bummed about it, to be honest. She also gave me some meds to confirm that there is no infection. I left the room with a card that had the name of the doctor who I was supposed to book with, and brought it to the front desk. While I waited there, I was thinking IĀ really wish I didn’t have to have this all done. Maybe I should wait for the new year. But I don’t want to be miserable over Christmas! But too soon is too scary. Dr. Guselle had said I may not even get in until January anyway. But the receptionist came up with December 10th. Waaay sooner than I was expecting! However, its just about two weeks away so that gives me plenty of time to panic about it (ugh) and lots of time before Christmas to not be sore anymore. If anything bad were to come of it, it would happen in enough time that I could get it all repaired before family started coming out. So the tenth it is!
I won’t pretend that I’m not super bummed about this whole thing because I totally am. I think I’ve said it a lot the last few posts but I just have a lot going on and I really would rather not have to go to the doctors office and have my toenail chopped at. Maybe afterwards I’ll go get my hair chopped at to celebrate. I would deserve that right?
Ok,Ā LAST story of the day! We saw this poster in our exam room and had a HUGE laugh about it!! I have to share š
I hope you’ll be able to read it. This poster is referring to the doors that Brady and I desperately tried to enter while in wild labour with Laela. Basically, THIS WAS US! It says, “As for November 5…” which tells me that it was put up before that date. Laela was born September 30th. So doing the math, that happened really fast. I have said all along that it was our error going to those doors that were locked. We had missed that memo. Our mistake. But I’m happy it was taken seriously and this way, no one else will have to feel that fear that we felt locked outside those doors. Rather us than anyone else.
Quite a long post for not a lot of information, but it felt like a big morning in the city. Luckily, Jerilee came out for the afternoon and we had a super chill visit, drinking coffee and laughing at Dekker. All in all, it was a good day. I’m thankful.
No, I’m not from the states…