I hope I’m not opening a can of worms here, but I’m looking for some tips! No, I won’t ask for peoples opinions on breastfeeding, spanking, or politics. I promise. I just want to talk about potty training.
You know how its hard to celebrate with people when you yourself wish you were in same boat? Like, you still love and support your friends, and you celebrate with them, but sometimes you cry on the drive home. You know what I’m talking about. This isn’t a crying issue yet, but in case you don’t know, Dekker turned three in August and has less than no interest in the potty. Now, no fighting!, but I am a believer in him just figuring it out as he so desires. No potty training boot camp for us. When hes sixteen, no one will care when he potty trained. However, with baby Jim coming closer and closer, I’m thinking the sooner the better. I’m honestly not too choked about the idea of having three in diapers, but I don’t love the idea of potty training right when Jim is new.
So I thought I’d just open up some conversation anyway, and see what people think. I looked on yahoo answers specifically for help on how to potty train a three year old who isn’t interested, and sooooo many people say “if they’re not trained yet, you’re slipping in your parenting” or “clearly your kid has you trained.” I really, really didn’t like that! Not only because it made me feel like complete garbage, but because I don’t think its true! I don’t think so, anyway. I hope not!
We’ve done what I consider to be a decent job on getting him acquainted with the potty. We have had a potty in the bathroom for quite a while. We also have a Cars potty seat hanging off the toilet, so he has his pick. We have potty books, and we have a few pairs of super cool underwear. And Dekker really couldn’t care less about the whole thing. Its pretty much not worth the oxygen to even talk about it with him.
So. The question. Do we do something rash and just get rid of diapers, and deal with pee and poop for an undetermined amount of time, whether he wants to or not? Or do we sit on it for another few months and leave him alone to grow up a bit more? Dekker has always been our gusto boy, who does everything BIG. He’s also a perfectionist. I feel like, if we left him to his own devices, he would wait quite a bit longer still, and then train overnight. Because thats how he rocks things. Is that what we do? Or do we nudge him along a little. Sooo many parents online said to involve punishments, and while I agree that discipline in parenting is important, it is NOT allowed in potty training! In my opinion, anyway.
Sigh. Just on my mind today. Thoughts? Tips? Just plain support and hugs? I’ll take whatever you’re offering.
We trained Vincent at two because I didn’t want to change diapers on two kids. He picked it up in about three days but still had lots of accidents for the next 6ish months.
My thoughts/opinions are (especially for boys) if you wait until they are actively interested you may be waiting a long time but if you push too hard too soon they won’t want to do it all and you may end up doing more damage. It’s up to you to know when you’re ready.
I agree that punishments are bad when you’re first training. We celebrated and bribed (#2 was a lot harder for V to figure out) until we were confident that he got it. Now if he has an accident when he knows better (within reason) we do punish but that’s over a year later.
Ultimately I think you have to ask yourself if changing three kids’ diapers is really that bad or would potty training be worth the trouble. No matter who your kid is potty training is messy and it takes patience and I’m sorry but I don’t think it can happen overnight but I hope Dekker can prove me wrong 🙂
I wasn’t concerned about two kids in diapers. Plus, with Dekkers struggles with vision and surgery and all that jazz, it was good for us to give him a break. I also agree that you’re right to have to use discipline over a year later if he’s being defiant or maybe too lazy an just pees himself. For sure. But likely not for a while. It’ll be a big change for us, rocking pee and poo on the floor! Dekker hates messes so much, haha! Hopefully that just helps him learn faster! Thanks for the input Deanne!
Hailey, can you give me your email address… I will send you something that helped us with the three we’ve trained so far… 🙂
If you message me on here through the “about’ section, it’ll go to my email. I’d really appreciate tips, thanks!