Expecting the Best: 15 Weeks (+1 day)

Thanks for being patient with me skipping my series post yesterday. It was important for me. When I was making my plan before I left for the lake, I knew it was more important to bump this post than to bump Theo’s due date post. We can talk about my pregnancy updates anytime. One day won’t make a big difference. But Theo only had one due date. So again, thanks for being patient. And thanks for the love on that post. I know many of you read it and contacted me one way or another. I really really appreciate the support and understanding. I hope its not too forward or insensitive (its SO easy to offend these days) but so many of you have experienced losses recently, and I often say prayers for you guys, every time you come to mind, that you would be given another baby to carry in your womb when the time is right. Or those of you who have ached to conceive and haven’t been able to. I pray that it happens. I know the pain, and I know the relief, and I know the joy. I pray that you can all find God’s peace in your unique situations, because no matter what way you do family, they’re all loaded with emotion. Even if you and I aren’t close, and even if you read this and I never ever know, you are always welcome to come to me to chat with, relate to, and pray with.

Its been a loaded week, obviously. But onto the latest about little papoose!

Size/Comparison: The baby is the size of an avocado, or so I hear! I keep having these moments of “how am I showing this much already?” but then I consider that the baby is, in fact, growing, which causes me in turn to grow. And I’m thrilled about that!! I can definitely feel my little uterus bump each and every day, and I feel like I’m starting to actually look pregnant. Not like “Wow, that lady over there is pregnant” but people who know me would likely notice. Woot!

How am I feeling mentally: You guys know this week has been big for me. My due date for Theo was yesterday, and it was an interesting week leading up to it, as I would’ve had him likely on either July 31 or August 1. There was a lot of emotion this week, and I’ve had some days of mourning, but I am feeling more confident as the weeks wear on regarding my current pregnancy. I know the feeling of having that rug pulled out from under you, and I doubt I’ll ever forget that moment of finding out my baby had died, so I can’t not think about it ever, but its not lingering at the top of my mind each and every day. I have some peace, and I’m holding tightly to it.

How am I feeling physically: Ugh. Sad news about physical feelings. While I feel like my nausea might be coming to a close-ish (not willing to risk it here at the lake, but I’m going to try to get off my meds once we’re home) I’m starting to have that dreaded right leg pain 🙁 If you’ve followed my blog through a pregnancy before, you know that my right leg and the right side of my butt give me a lot of grief, and leave me in amazing amounts of pain for a good chunk of my pregnancy. I used to think it was a sciatica thing but I’ve learned over the years that its actually 110% my pelvis loosening up on me too early in the game. This is a “normal” pregnancy symptom for me at this point, but I dread it so much. My pregnancy with Solly was the most painful one, easily. I was at the point of debating whether or not to grocery shop while driving one of those scooters. I was crawling to places in the house. I also asked for a temporary handicapped parking pass because I just couldn’t walk without immense pain. So its a gross understatement to say that I’m nervous. But I have a wonderful physiotherapist that I’ll be calling very quickly upon arriving home, and I’m hopeful that she’ll be able to treat me and teach me how to care for myself.

Appointments: I’ll see my doctor next week! I’m very interested to talk to her about this pelvic/leg/butt pain and see if we can actually put a name to it. In the little bits of research I’ve done, I think this is undeniably SPD (Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction, not sensory processing disorder) but we’ve never really given it a title before and I think it would help me feel a bit more sane. I also really need to talk to her about sleep, because the quality of mine suuuuucks, and I think I’ll function so much better if I can just get some actual rest. Maybe she has tips for me, because I have never had this problem to this level before.

Buys/Wish List: I ordered a harmony ball necklace!! Jerilee gave it to me for my birthday, so I’m just anxiously awaiting its arrival 🙂 Woot woot!

How are the kids feeling: Maybe you saw (or maybe you didn’t see) my post earlier last week about the kids being in full baby mode. I gave them some bottles to play with and they’re regularly feeding their babies and stuffed toys and such. Its still cute. Doesn’t get old for me. Probably won’t ever.

The BEST thing about being pregnant this week: I’ve really really enjoyed being pregnant at the lake, watching my children play on the playground and in the sand, and just picturing what our next summer will look like with a fifth child here in my arms. Baby would be roughly six months old in the mid-summer, so likely more of a bump on a log type of beach dweller, which his/her siblings build sandcastles, blow bubbles, and draw in the sand with feathers all around our blanket 🙂 I love the picture, and I can’t wait for it to be a reality.

Anything else: Hahaha! This is pretty random, but thinking ahead, lol! Rowan is long done cutting his two year molars, which is handy because Solly is a total disaster pushing his molars right now. With the space between Solly and the little papoose, its possible they won’t teethe too terribly much at the same time! I hope not, anyway, haha! The first few teeth are never a big deal for our babies, since they’re the incisors, and the amber necklaces have worked so well for our babies in the past. Hopefully Solly will be done his two year molars before little papoose starts any extreme teething!! There it is! A small pro! I’ve been so sad about the wider age gap between the two youngest, and its nice to find a thin silver lining. Unrelated, but another “anything else,” I ate eggs today for the first time in several weeks. Probably more like two months. And I didn’t vomit! So I’m hopeful about that whole sickness thing.

Pictures: Just the bumpily bump, as always. That sucker is getting round! I’ve given up sucking it in. Let ‘er go.

I’ve really been enjoying lake life. The vibe is good here. While its not as relaxing as it would be without kids (vacations never are, haha!) it just feels like special family time away from our usual. A good change of scenery is good for the soul. I feel a bit fresher, and I think the others do too.

Its possible I’m gaining a ton of weight out here. Not baby weight. Unless you count danishes as babies…..