You’ve heard me say it before, but I’m going there again. My kids are SO wise! Not in every single way, of course. I’m not that wise either. They’re not particularly “with it” in the scope of foresight, cause and effect, or common sense all the time. But I’m regularly blown away by the way my kids can just choose to turn their attitudes around, and actually roll with it, without any bad feelings towards anyone else. That is so hard for me, sometimes, and I’m always surprised when they just accept tough stuff and keep moving forward.
Last night was very difficult for me. I fell asleep around 10:30-ish, which is a good time for me. However, I woke up sometime shortly after midnight and was up until about 4:30. I lay in bed and relived all kinds of overwhelming things in my life. I finally decided that wasn’t healthy so I sat up and tried to rest my brain a little bit and read a few things off my phone. No dice. It seemed that Solly had lulled along with me, and was constantly tripping the monitor, though not crying, necessarily. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore and I got up to try and help him, even though he just seemed to be hanging out in his bed. But as I got up, he started wailing. So I went to check on him and he was all hot and bothered. I couldn’t tell if he was hot from crying, or fevered. His legs and back were hot, but not really his head. I couldn’t figure it out. As I held him and he calmed down, he seemed to get hotter. I went to lay him back down after a while and he instantly started screaming again. I hate when he gets so worked up because he only gets hotter faster. I knew he needed medicine, but the longer he lay screaming in his bed, the more likely he’d wake the rest of the kids up, and then who knows if they’d go back to sleep. You moms of many know, its a hard thing to navigate. I finally gave up, in a full state of exhaustion and frustration, I woke Brady. He jumped right up and got Solly’s medicine for me while I held him and calmed him down again. And after a little bit, I was able to lay him back down and he quieted shortly there after. But Brady and I were up, obviously. We watched a bit of Big Bang Theory before I fell asleep, right around the time Brady had to get up for work. I slept maybe another two hours before I had to get up and get everyone to bed. Not my best night. Not even close.
So, if you can’t tell where this is going, I had a pretty crappy attitude when I got up. I wasn’t a jerk to the kids, thankfully I was able to keep that mostly together, but I felt like garbage. I was somewhat disoriented, felt sick, and I was running on fumes straight out the gate, which is not a good start off. This morning was also one where I had to bring all of the kids with me to get Dekker to school, so I ended up having to wake Solly from sleep, which he loved, as you can imagine. So he and I both were feeling it pretty hard this morning.
Once Dekker was at school and the I was home with the three, Solly came over to my chair and crawled up onto my lap. And then, he taught me how to be a better adult. He was wiped, that kid. SO tired. If I reached my hand out to stroke his hair, he’d quickly lay his face in my hand and just lay still there, with me holding his head up.
Or he’d lie down across my body, so so still. But then, he’d stick his blanket in his mouth, and slowly crawl up to my face and get RIGHT up into it, and giggle like a crazy person. He was SO tired that he couldn’t open his eyes all the way, yet he was making a point to make jokes. He kept his happy attitude on full time, and he just took little rests as needed. But his GOAL was to be friendly, and peachy, and charming, and adorable, and it totally worked. All of it.
I love that he was so clearly exhausted, but made a noticeable effort to be pleasant. Why is that so hard for me? Why is it SO much easier to just pout and be grouchy? Isn’t it technically easier and healthier to smile than to frown? I, as an adult, struggle with this, but my 1.5 year old is apparently amazing at self regulating.
I had to ditch out on our snuggle after a while to pee (because coffeeeee) and he waited for me, in the exact same spot I had left him. Once again, smiling. No fuss that his mama was leaving like so often is the case.
He’s a pretty good buddy on such a grouchy day. Its less grouchy now, thats for sure. Good reminders, all around.
Way to be happy when you’re sleepy, Solly Wolly!!