Perhaps Level-Headedness is on its Way

One of my pregnancy tracking apps told me weeks ago already that my hormones are probably starting to level out. It is wrong, and they are not. I’m still struggling quite hard with my moods, feeling overdone very early in the day, impatient, and ready to cry at the drop of a hat. Its not unheard of, obviously, and without complaining about my situation at all, even a lazy day around here is pretty busy. So I’m tired and grouchy a lot of the time. Just trying to be honest.

After yet another restless night, I made a very real effort to be positive this morning. The kids all woke up happy, and then we didn’t eat breakfast for sooo long because Rowan was a total snuggle bug and I ended up laying with him in Dekker’s bed and just cuddling, giving lots of smooches, and identifying facial features, haha! It was SO cozy, and very distracting. But eventually, we got up and the kids demolished their breakfasts of apple jacks.

Except Solly.

For some reason, he was not having it. I couldn’t tell you why, except maybe teething. He wouldn’t eat much at all, and just cried and cried and cried. That is NOT like Solly. He is so content and relaxed, so when he does that kind of thing, I don’t argue with him. He just wouldn’t settle. So I tricked him into eating his yogurt, and let him be done. But toys wouldn’t do it either.

Dekker finished his breakfast and took it upon himself to work to get Solly settled and happy. He played with him and encouraged him and distracted him like crazy. It was SO awesome. I thanked him over and over, and he just assured me that he knew Solly would be happier if he had a friend to play with. He’s so right. Yay for siblings!

It was pretty on and off all morning, though. Rowan was so screechy this morning, and would scream over anything that didn’t go exactly his way, including duplo not clicking together exactly how he wanted it to. It was so annoying. I would remind him he could ask me for help, he would, I’d help him, and he’d be happy. And then scream five seconds later. Over and over again.

In amongst all of these things, I had this brief moment of reassurance in my head that said “This morning wouldn’t be as overwhelming if not for my crazy hormones. It’ll be easier once they level out.” Now this is something that I know, from experience and also logic. But I really felt it today, that this morning isn’t actually that bad, and that I’m just overwhelmed and tired and it’ll all feel a bit more handlable (yup, its a word) soon enough. I feel like that’s just a glimmer of hope that maaaybe that time is coming. If my head is clear enough to see this, probably its clearing! Right? Haha! Maybe I’m just hopeful and naive. Who knows. Hopefully I’ll know soon! If not, please love me through my crazy!!

Elvira

Hailey you are a precious soul! I are doing it! You have amazing kids! And I’m rooting for you! Dekker is such a good brother, so sensitive! Praying for restful growing up days with your family! 😘 love you❤️

haileyborn

Thank you, Elvira <3 I sure love my incredible kids, and I want to do them right, but YIKES! Haha! These have not been my most successful days. But thank you for the love and encouragement and prayers. I need them all.