If any of you have ever been on a sleep aid, you’ve probably noticed that it changes your sleep cycles a little bit. The medication that pregnant women can take during pregnancy is actually sold over the counter in the states under a different name, and its marketed as a sleep aid. And WOW, does it deliver. While it takes the edge off of my nausea (which I am super grateful for) it leaves me feeling pretty out to lunch most days. Last week was the most fatigued I’ve felt so far in this pregnancy, and really, in any pregnancy that I can remember. I’ve been dozing off in the days and falling asleep in the evenings VERY early. When it is finally bedtime, I fall asleep easily, but my sleep is restless and choppy. Waking up is HARD, and I hit the snooze button at least twice every morning, something that I didn’t ever do before this week. And when I do drag myself out of bed, I throw on the clothes closest to me, stumble my way downstairs and take – you guessed it! My sleeping pill. Because if I don’t, I’d be sick as a dog. Or sicker. I don’t know. I don’t have a dog…
So, now that you know how my day-to-day looks, I’ll talk about this morning. I was up at least four times last night, thought it could’ve been more. I definitely remember four times. In between that, there were many time I remember thinking “How long have I been awake?” So I don’t know if those are long stretches of time, or just multiple wakings, or maybe I’m just sleeping light. I remember this in my last pregnancy, too. I slept the nights up, exhausted, and disoriented. Its pretty challenging, and coffee isn’t sitting especially well these days. At least not until I’ve been up for a few hours. So this morning, I woke up after my restless night and we decided to go to church this morning. I couldn’t bear to drag my butt out of bed until I absolutely had to, so there was no shower for me. My stringy, disgusting, neglected hair was thoroughly doused in dry shampoo and braided to the side to help me appear human. I put on makeup, but realized as I was leaving that I had forgotten both concealer and lipstick. This girl needed concealer today, and if you know me, you know I love lipstick. If you do nothing else, do lips, and you look put together. And I did not.
We made our way to church, 5/6 washed and dressed in clean clothes, and then there was me. I’m sure everyone noticed just how zombie I looked. A little ways into church, I was able to stomach some coffee, and I ate a crushed bag of Ritz bits out of the bottom of the diaper bag. Because, desperation. I’ll be the first to admit that I was NOT set up for church today.
But we all lived, and church was good. Its always lovely to be back in our loving church community, learning of the needs of people, some that I can even help with. Its good to hug our friends that we only seem to see on Sundays. Its good to participate in some decision making as church members. It was good to listen to our pastors teachings, and sing along to the worship music prepared. Its always fulfilling to go to church.
Let’s be honest. I feel pretty out to lunch today, and am in worse shape than I would be had we not gone to church. But its always good to remember that we don’t have to be at the top of our game to go and receive church as its offered, to put into the church, and to fellowship with the people we love. God promises to give us rest, and you’d better believe I feel weary, and eager to accept that rest.