Split Attention: Dekker

My lovely friend, Willa, came over today. She is so lovely and dives right in, changing diapers, feeding bottles, reading books, playing toys, visiting with me, and helping with any chores I can scrape up. She even brings me Starbucks. I find it so refreshing to have someone in the house with me, not only to help with my kids and house, but to just keep me company as well. We had a really nice morning together and then, once Dekker had eaten his lunch, she headed back home to finish up her day.

I called this post “Split Attention” because its a reality in my house, and in anyone’s house if they have more than one kid. My firstborn now has to share my attention. And I have to say, Dekker is handling it like a champ. We have our moments once in a while, but I think most of them are out of a lack of comprehension. For instance, the other day Dekker wanted to go downstairs and when he went to open the baby gate, he took it to the face. He had a big cry and I cuddled him until he felt better, but he didn’t want to crawl down the stairs on his own. So I carried him down. Once we got to the bottom, I explained to him that I was just going to go get Laela and would be back right away. But he didn’t get it. He lay at the bottom of the stairs wailing like an abandoned animal. I was back at the stairs within seconds and he figured it out, thankfully. But ya, we have those moments.

Dekker’s comprehension has grown astronomically in the last few weeks. He is talking a lot more, learning constantly, and making us proud. His spells of high pitched screams are much less, which is a HUGE relief to us! And he almost never hits!!! These are two really big challenges we’ve faced over the last months, and we have worked diligently and consistently to correct them, seemingly to no avail. It got worse after Laela came home, but within probably the week, he improved and has only kept on in that direction. This evening, he was jumping on our bed and fell, and accidentally hit Brady’s face. His immediately stopped what he was doing and said “Oh, sorry!” He had never said “sorry” before! He clearly knows what it means. Just in the last couple of days, he’s started saying sorry, please, thank you, stop, help, and all kinds of things!! And he loves Laela. So much. I have seen no resentment towards her at all. They make a great pair.

This evening, during playtime in our room before Dekker goes to bed, he took a good spill. He was jumping away, and when he dropped down, he slammed his forehead on the wall. I was laying on my side on the bed and scooped him up before he could even start crying. I know, some people would likely leave him to see if he would just keep on truckin’, but if I took that hit, I would be crying. So without much forethought, I grabbed him on top of me like I used to do every evening. He cried and cried, but didn’t fight to get away at all. Eventually, he calmed, and just lay still, in a full on hug, on my chest. Or at least, it used to be my chest… Its been a while. He’s grown, apparently.

IMG_2692

Holding him brought me back a little bit to before I was pregnant with Laela, and we could have cuddles like that every night. He is still my little boy, just a slightly bigger version. He just amazes me. I like to remind him that, when we were trying to conceive our very first baby, and I was praying to God, asking for one, he was exactly what I was asking for! I love him.

For those who pray, I ask for those prayers tonight to be for Dekker. Tomorrow, he has an eye appointment. He is going in for preliminary testing at the office of his second opinion doctor. He won’t, however, actually see the doctor tomorrow. Its just testing. What makes me nervous about the situation is that he sees his original ophthalmologist on November 7th. The chance of us actually getting a full opinion from Doctor2 before Doctor1 decides whether or not to put him on a surgery list is slim to none. I know that he’ll likely wait on the list for a while, but what if suddenly there’s some fast opening and we don’t have time to get in to Doctor2? I’m scared. I’m also scared for the sake of his eyes in general. I have never felt completely comfortable with his eye being patched, and I’ve watched him regress in a lot of ways. However, I have never felt complete peace about going against what the doctor said and getting rid of the patch. So now I fear for the eye that has been patched for the last two months. In the effort to strengthen the left eye, will the right eye have suffered miserably? It has barely been used for two months! How strong could an unused eye be??! I’m scared.

Please pray for my boy. I love him, and I want this whole thing to just be over.

mama jeanne

God is with you my Darlin’. He is your family’s protector and healer and guide. He is your Advocate! Where we lack wisdom He gives freely. I’ll be praying. Love you very much. ps…. I can’t believe how Dekker has grown. What a sweet little big boy ♥ So dear to my heart♥