The Daily Hailey

My tolerance is low these days. Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy with my life and family and the way things are going. It is the little things that make me crazy. Let me elaborate a bit.

Maybe this is a gross topic, so feel free to stop reading at any point, but have you guys ever had ingrown toenails? I have. A few, over the years. And they’re painful and annoying, and then the drain and they’re over. I had one a good few weeks ago, and only recently have I realized that I, in fact, still have that same ingrown toenail. And my goodness it hurts! I actually limp when I walk. So I’ve been diligently loading it with polysporin and bandaging it several times a day in an effort to kill of any infection and amp up the healing. And it hurts WORSE! I hate taking this type of ailment to the doctor. I’d rather deal with it on my own so I can anticipate the pain and do the ouchy things at my own pace. However, that all changed yesterday.

As I posted, yesterday was an awesome day filled with Christmas shopping and memory making. However, the first thing I did as soon as we left our house in the morning was fall. I was wearing the only footwear I have that doesn’t hurt my toe constantly – cheap, knock-off, really slippery ugg boots. So I took a solid spill in the driveway. I had Laela in her bucket with me, and dropped her right on the side of my left knee. It was sooo painful! That paired with my right foot aching was more than I could take. I enjoyed the shopping day, but later that night, I was sore and cranky and aching and grumpy and I am SO DONE with small stuff like that leaving a bad taste in my mouth after such a sweet outing. No more. So last night, I drenched my toe in peroxide and left it uncovered. Maybe drying it out will hurt less than it always being soft? I don’t know. But I am officially sick of it.

I called and made an appointment with Dr. Guselle on Thursday. I know I could just hit up a walk-in, but I really like my doctor and I know she won’t react in some horrible way, even if it is worse than I think it is. And if she’s going to have to hurt me, I know she’ll be gentle. So I called and told the receptionist “any day but Thursday” and she replied “Well, its Thursday or its January 16th.” So. Thursday it is. I was a bit annoyed, as that changes up plans I had made with a friend, but I am NOT leaving it to sit any longer. Every step I take, it hurts, and I get a bit angrier. That is no way to live. I hate being so frustrated at something so small.

So I made that appointment, and then had to get back on the phone to make another appointment I wasn’t excited about. For those who have missed it, my doctor and I have agreed that I should seek some counselling in my recovery from Laela’s birth. I had researched counsellors at the office I’m going to visit, and I knew who I thought would work best with my. However, I opted for a different person who costed less and could see me in an evening. Basically, I sacrificed my gut for convenience. And I’ve felt sick about it ever since. I just know I need to switch that up. Now, being who I am, I was more than dreading that call. I didn’t want anyone feel hurt or insulted, and I didn’t want to come off wrong. So I worked up the courage to call, and there was no answer. I didn’t want to leave a message. It always seems to happen that I’ll leave a message, and as soon as both kids are crying, or I’m changing a diaper, they call back. Also, I panicked. So I hung up and tried again a little while later. And then later. No answers. I’m sure they were all just busy, and thats fine. It was just hard to gear up to make that call so many times! I finally got through, and the receptionist wasn’t judgemental of me at all, which helped. However, I sacrificed my December 10th spot, and can’t be scheduled in until December 23rd! I’m on a cancellation list, and thats about all anyone can do now! I’m trying to believe that I’m doing the right thing by going with my original instinct, but it feels so crazy far away, and I was hoping to get a handle on things a bit sooner. Maybe even see someone twice before Christmas. But this is what I’ve got, and I’m hoping its right!

These two phone calls have literally wiped me out for the day. It seems like the small things that don’t totally work out are just extra discouraging, and much faster. I want to keep a positive attitude but I’m finding it harder than usual today. My patience levels are low.

I spent the later part of the afternoon sorting through Christmas presents with Laela, taking the price tags off and collecting all the receipts in one place. I’m so excited to start wrapping them and getting the place all decorated. Hopefully a few things like that will help lift my spirits.

Kind of a “blah” post. Sorry guys. Kind of a “blah” day as well.