The Daily Hailey

I am more than 150% relieved to announce that we are DONE with Dekker’s eye drops!! Every fibre of my being wanted to skip out on the last dose tonight and just let him be free, but if he contracted an infection tomorrow morning, I would probably beat myself up about it forever. This way, infection or not, I have done everything humanly possible to protect him. With lots of prayer, help, efforts made, and some solid work done by great and competent medical staff, we have al survived, and Dekker has thrived.

If I can be blunt, all support and help aside, I am exhausted. I have felt wildly alone in this process, somehow. Dekker was scared of me, always assuming I wanted to put drops in his eyes. We’ve had to be fairly cooped up, because I’m scared to do his drops in a public place. I know I have been lucky enough to have breaks on the Fridays to get my hair done, legs waxed, etc. But I still feel a bit off about the whole thing. I don’t feel joy that the worst is over, and that we don’t have to upset Dekker five times a day anymore with stinging medication. I feel frustration. I’ve said a lot that I tend to lean towards the negative side of thing, and I’ve spent for sure the last few years working hard to rectify that. However, I am feeling very “glass half empty” today. If you think of it, please pray for renewed energy and joy tomorrow. I’d love to have an awesome day.

Today was good though. We headed into the city to get Dekker’s glasses adjusted first. They’re really loose on his face for some reason, and he’s looking over them a lot. He hasn’t done that since we got the back strap. After the adjustment, he’s still looking over them. I’m thinking they weren’t fixed quite right, but I’m also wondering (and secretly hoping) that he actually just doesn’t need them anymore so he’s not wanting to use them. We’ll know in a few weeks I guess.

We hit up McDonalds after that. I know, of all places. We were going to get Dekker a special treat to celebrate his last day of drops, and our original idea was a bit, delicious milkshake from Fuddruckers. However, it was frozen outside. As we drove into the city, we stopped at a red light next to a McDonalds. Dekker pointed to those blasted golden arches and screeches “Fries!!” So it was decided. He ate his meal and drank his very special apple juice before he and laela both cashed out in the back seat of the car. It was a good, low key celebratory day.

And now, I am tired, and much grumpier than I wish I was. Time for a bath and a sleep. Hopefully I find the right side of the bed by morning.

Congratulations, Dekker! You survived two really hard weeks! And you did it with class, and patience, and love. Mum loves you to the moon and back!