Remember a few months back when Solly wasn’t saying a whole heck of a lot? We rocked some basic sign language with him, and it seemed to awaken a new confidence in him that got him talking fairly quickly after that. It was a huge relief to us, his parents, who were pretty over all the screaming and lack of communication.

Since then, Solly has hit that beautiful sweet spot where he’ll mimic anything we say. If he’s waving something around at us, or pointing at anything, we’ll say what it is, and he’ll respond with “Ya, _____” and repeat the name of the item. So he’s learning super quick now! He’ll say anything! His current faves are flashlight, hammer, catch, bottle, and coffee.

Sentences are a super cute recent development. He’s had the little short important ones down for a while already. “Help, please” is a big one. He’ll say I love you, Wavy’s sad, what’s for supper, etc.

My FAVORITE stage of speech is what he’s doing right now. It goes like this.

Me: Solly, are you dancing?
Solly: Ya, I dancin’! (shakes his butt)

Me: Solly, can you share that toy?
Solly: Ya, I share! (runs in opposite direction with previously stolen toy)

Solly: HAHAHA! Oh Solomon…..

Me: Woowee! Solly, you stink!
Solly: I tink?
Me: Ya, you’re kinda stinky.
Solly: Ya, I tinky. I poopin’.

My ALL TIME FAVORITE!!!

Me: Its stinky in here.
Solly: Ya, I fartin’. I fartin’ here. I fartin’ there… (runs to another spot in the room) I fartin’ over there…

This kid, though.

He keeps things entertaining over here! And also stinky…

Last year, at this time, we were in SUCH a different boat.

Last year, I had just experienced losing my baby at 16.5 weeks.

Last year, I had just met my OB for the first time. I had gotten an amazing amount of blood work done, and was waiting for results.

Last year, I was having ultrasounds to make sure every sign of Jamin was out of my body. I was struggling pretty hard with that, “wanting” him out of me, when I so desperately wanted him to still be growing away in my womb.

Specifically, last year, on this day, I was having my official “let’s figure this out” ultrasound. My tech looked for polyps, cysts, whatever else in there. She checked my uterus, my ovaries, my cervix, all the good business in there.

I remember being somehow relieved that my ultrasound wasn’t one of those “looking for any signs of life” ultrasounds. This one felt like an easy one. A boring one.

I remember hoping that she’d find something. Hoping that my blood work would reveal some issue that we could focus on. Some answer.

I remember that she focused on one place for a while, and I was SO sure she had found something, but that was later discounted by both my doctor and my OB.

I remember being so discouraged that my body appeared healthy.

What a backwards time!!! My gosh! Grief does crazy things!!

I’ve been feeling pretty scattered these days. A bit lost in my own head. I’m trying to give myself grace, because looking back over the last year and a half has been so new and so overwhelming. I feel together most days, but some days I’m still reeling and uncertain. Turning 30 this summer didn’t help, and while I know so many of you have told me that 30 is the new 20, I’m just not feeling that way. Maybe it’ll come after some of this self reflecting either wears off or sorts itself out. I’m just not sure what to do with myself these days! Which goals to work towards first. What to prioritize and what to let slide. How to be a better friend when I feel like a jerk, and how to reach out to people in spite of that.

I’m not making any sense. But remembering where I was one year ago helps me feel a bit more “normal” in my lostness. I have so much to be thankful for, but maybe that doesn’t have to cancel out the hardships and struggles. Hmmm… always mulling…

Brady and I are approaching ten years of marriage! Did you guys know that?? I mean, probably many of you do. Its kind of a big deal, and then at the same time, its not. He’s my best friend! Its an obvious pairing over here 🙂 Its not a big effort to do life with this guy.

This summer, I bought Brady a pair of sweat shorts, because the rest of us have some. He LOVED them. Shortly thereafter, I bought myself the same pair. Who cares that they were mens, right? Right. Meanwhile, my good cozy sweatpants have become threadbare, and I recently purchased a new pair. I bragged up how soft and comfortable they were, to the point where Brady bought himself a pair! Who cares if they’re ladies, right? Right.

We’re basically the same person.

In an episode of “How I Met Your Mother,” there is a little snippet of Ted and his wife in the future, when they’re old and grey. I don’t even remember what sparks the comment, but they admit to each other that they are officially an old married couple. And they both said “Yesssss!” Like it was an accomplishment. And I LOVE that!!! THAT is how I feel. I’ll embrace the fuddy-duddy side of being married to the same weirdo for my entire life, if given the opportunity. I am so thrilled to be married to Brady. I’m thankful for the life we live, and the kids we have, and that we’re together in all of it!

All of this said and done, I discovered yesterday that Brady and I pack the dishwasher literally COMPLETELY opposite. We’ve lived here for two years, and I just noticed this yesterday. I wonder what other surprises you’ve got tucked away, hahaha!! Way to keep some mystery, honey 😉

Old and married, here we come!I

Finishing our basement has been a SLOW process over the last two years. We’re not even done framing. Its kind of a bummer, but logic is clear. Work has had a few slumps, and while we have had the time to do the work, we haven’t had the money to buy materials or hire trades. So, its sat. Recently, I’ve been LOVING having people in our home more, and its bumming me out that our basement isn’t finished. I feel like many people know that our house is a soft place to fall, but its so temporary when we can’t offer them a place to stay overnight. We HAVE to get this basement done!!

Brady is home for a couple of days this week, and this morning he determined he was going to get a bit more framing done in our basement. There isn’t too terribly much left to do. Its mostly just the tedious stuff. Brady happily invited the kids downstairs with him, since he didn’t have a ton of dangerous power tools out, and nothing within reach. Laela, Rowan, and Solly ran around and played with the toys we have down there, and were totally occupied and happy. I fed Wavy and drank coffee, so I was also occupied and happy.

Unfortunately, the whole thing went a bit south when we discovered we were missing pieces out of some VERY expensive hardware we had ordered. Thus began many calls back and forth between Brady and the company we had ordered from, and without getting to into it (because I’m still WAY too frustrated about it) we’re at a bit of a standstill. There are still things to frame, and he can work around what we are missing, but its annoying and leaves more room for error. Not to mention the fact that the company may choose to be dicks and we might be out $150. Grrrrr! I digress.

So the morning wasn’t as productive as we had hoped it would be. Brady and I were both super annoyed with the company we were trying to deal with, and the kids were SO scrappy. Wavy was fine. She drank milk and went back to bed, as per usual. Once the kids were down for naps, we invited Cher over for lunch, and spent an hour or two eating yummy food in the living room for a bit. That was a definite upper for the day!

Cher has gone home now, and Brady ducked out to get the mail, water some flowers that we’re on the hook for, etc. Dekker will be home in about an hour, and I expect he’ll be full of stories. Today was picture day and show and tell! That poor kid is going to be so bummed when show and tell stops happening. He just LOVES it. Today, he brought his rock collection from our trip to Waskesiu this summer 🙂 And I can guarantee there are a few rocks from our driveway in there too!!

It was a grey, rainy Sunday, but it was also great! I’m so thankful for how today went, for a handful of reasons.

We’re back on the schedule for leading music at church! Brady, Carrie, and I had taken the summer off, but now that we’re all back into the swing of things with Fall and school and whatnot, we’re back! Unfortunately, Brady was sick this last week, along with a kid or two, and we weren’t sure if everyone would be able to make it this Sunday, so just Carrie and I did music this morning. My family was able to come along, but Brady hung with the kids during the music.

Solly had a hard time at church today. He had woken up pretty early in the morning and was just SO weepy over absolutely everything! Our church is amazing, and someone was always willing to take Wavy when I left the bench to go up front. Meanwhile, Brady would occasionally have to walk out with Solly, and Laela, Dekker, and Rowan just sat and waited for him to return. No BIG drama. Solly did have a pretty loud moment, though, during a particularly quiet part of the service. As Brady was shimmying out of our bench, I said “sorry everyone” kind of loudly, and our pastor addressed my apology. He reassured me that the sound of children was wonderful and important to the church. If there are no children, the church won’t have a future. After the service, a handful of people sought me out and told me they felt the exact same way. What an amazing, supportive church we attend!! Thank you, friends, for not being annoyed or inconvenienced by my children!

We came home, had lunch, and napped 4/5 kids. Around 2:30, Cher came by, along with another friend! I had never met her personally but she followed along with the project Cher built from my pregnancy with Waverly. She happened to be in town this weekend and wanted to meet the fam!! We spent all afternoon chatting about our lives and how the last year has gone. All three of us have had our share of grief, and it was interesting to relate to one another, check up on each other, and see how we were all recovering/growing/moving forward. It was SUCH a great afternoon of visiting, and I feel like I made a new friend 💜 Thank you for coming!!! Was a wonderful end to our great day.

*****

Our company just recently headed out, and we’re putting the kids down for bed shortly. Life continues tomorrow with school for Dekker! Its his picture day, his show and tell, aaaaand the beginning of him being the star of the week! Go Dekker!!

Laela. Did. Amazing.

I am pleased to report that not a single tear was shed, by her or by me, in the dropping off or picking up of Laela on her first day of school! It was hard to get details out of her, but here’s what I know.

They sing a “good morning song” and there is a bit about big high fives. She sang it for me before clamming up and saying she didn’t remember 😉

Recess was her favorite part of the day. Obviously, lol! However, apparently Dekker sought her out every recess and played with her!! She told me at one point, they held hands and ran together. Ack!! I love them!

Laela did some writing at school. Her teacher texted me a picture yesterday evening of Laela holding a paper that said “I love scool tda.” I love school today. Eek! I LOVE THAT!

She ate almost all of her lunch!

At the end of the day, when we went to pick her up from school, she hugged her teacher goodbye. Its such a relief for my heart to see her love her teacher already! She LOVED her preschool teacher SO MUCH, and was pretty discouraged when we warned her in advance that her beloved teacher would stay teaching preschool and wouldn’t be teaching her kindergarten. Lucky for her, her kindergarten teacher is also EXCEPTIONAL, and it seems to have clicked between them already.

Last but not at all least, as we all walked home together, Dekker and Laela ran ahead of us, chatted together, and played games.

In those moments, they were like best friends.

These two. My two who probably butt heads the most often, were just hanging out, enjoying each others company. This I have prayed for. That they would become friends in their travels to and from school, venturing out to do big kid things together. I know it won’t be perfect, and I’m so ok with that. I’m just excited that its starting!!!

Yay for new adventures!!!

Guys. It happened.

Laela is officially in kindergarten!!

I wish my little posed picture of all four of them turned out a bit clearer, but alas, its still terribly cute. Look at Laela’s face! She is SO amped! I took a few special little times with Laela this morning to see how she was really feeling, and as far as I could tell, she had no nerves whatsoever!! I figured we’d see what happened when we got to school, though. You never know, right?

Today wasn’t probably the ideal day for a first day of school. Rather than a regular morning schedule, the school put on a pancake breakfast to welcome everyone into the school year. Its a super fun morning event every year, but for Laela’s first day, I kind of wish we could’ve gotten in through her boot room, put her shoes in their spot, walked her the right way to her classroom, etc. But hey, there will be LOTS of mornings to walk her through that routine! This morning was just a different. Instead of walking, we drove, and walked from the van to the front doors.

We piled into the gym and loaded up a couple plates of food for the kids, found a spot on the floor, and ate breakfast. It was cute and chaotic. Laela was still completely on fire, thrilled to be there! She found out her teacher was at the juice table and actually went over and gave her a hug.

I got her into her classroom, helped her find where to hang her coat and backpack, and got her settled at her spot at a table. No nerves, still!

She was sitting across from a girl she knew from preschool, which she was happy about. The girls started playing with some blocks together, and that was it. She was good. She was ready. I gave her a hug and a kiss and whispered if she was ok. She responded with a loud “Yup!” and didn’t even look at me. It was perfect.

Brady traded me out and gave her a kiss goodbye while I waited with the boys. When the bell rang and school was about to start, I waved at her from the door. She waved back at me with a huge smile plastered across her face. I tried to ask “Are you good?” but she was already busy with something else.

She was settled.

I’m SO happy for her!!!

I’ll be back tomorrow, as usual, to tell you how the day went. I don’t anticipate a problem 😉

Have a happy Friday, friends!!

Yesterday was Dekker’s first day walking to school on his own!

He was SO excited! I was too, though I admit I emailed his teacher in the morning to confirm that he had arrived. Not that the school wouldn’t have called me had he not, but still. I was “that parent.” Lol! Don’t judge me!

I had offered to come pick him up as I was sending him off that morning, and he politely declined. He had looked me in the eye and told me “I think I’m ready. I think its time.” VERY grown up of him, as usual. We all waited eagerly by the widow to watch him come home at the end of the day, not knowing how long it would take him. It wasn’t long, and he was within view. The kids knocked on the window and waved like crazy. He waved back and ran the rest of the way.

He ran our carpeted stairs with his wet rubber boots upon arriving home. Before I could stop him, he burst out that he had flowers for me. I was a bit caught off guard, to say the least. He ran back down the stairs and put his boots away, and came back up, reassuring me he’d put them in water.

Is this not the CUTEST thing you’ve ever seen?!?! Ack!!!

Two little pink weeds in a medicine measuring cup!! And yes, he put water in it.

It probably seems small (literally and figuratively) but it thrilled my heart!!

After the flowers were set up “properly,” he unpacked his backpack and lunch bag. He made his way to the living room, where he spent the next half hour or so snuggling with his siblings, pretending to rock them like babies, playing peekaboo, etc. It was like the first day of school, only better!

I love our new system. Our new normal. I just love my family so so much.

I was originally going to write today’s post about Laela today, and Laela yesterday. She is fevering! It started yesterday evening. It is SUCH a bummer, because her first day of school is later this week and I don’t want her to miss it!!! Prayers for her would be very much appreciated! Even in the midst of her sickness, she is so calm and pleasant and friendly.

She looks SO pretty, and SO sick! Poor dear.

This last year-ish has been tricky for my little miss. Being two and three didn’t phase her, but she’s struggled through being four. Its felt like a solid year of a power struggle between she and I. I’ve ached for our mother-daughter relationship to strengthen but it has seemed to get weaker and weaker as we stretched further apart.

PRAISE THE LORD that in the last couple of weeks, I’ve started to get her back. 💜 I made a few tweaks in the way I was parenting her and talking her through things, and took more time to reassure her how much we loved her. There was one particular day where she got herself all twisted up in anger, and couldn’t seem to pull it together. She just couldn’t wind down, lower her voice, relax her angry brows, etc. Just couldn’t get there. So I walked to her room with her and just snuggled in her bed for a bit with her. She went from being super tense to just resting. We didn’t talk at all. I lay beside her with my arm over her and my face touching her arm. After a good few minutes, she finally reached out and put her hand on my arm. She rubbed my skin and told me how soft it was. Her voice was quiet, and her face was restful. We whispered together for a while, and the conversation turned over to what was making her so mad. We talked about it calmly and in a way that helped both of us understand what was going on.

Folks, this was a kick off.

Since that day, things have been so much better! They’re not perfect, because no one is, thank goodness! Communication has been clearer and calmer. Oftentimes now, Laela comes over to me just to sit on my lap and snuggle. She hasn’t done that in so long. I’ve missed it SO much. I’ve missed HER so much! While I’m positive this won’t be the last time we’ll butt heads (Lol! Buttheads.) it was a good learning experience for both of us.

Today, my feverish little sidekick is napping with her brothers. She was disappointed, but in our quiet little face-to-face chat, she agreed that it was important she let her body rest and heal a little extra so she can for sure get to school on Friday!!! Way to be a grown up, Laela! Feel better soon.

Its been a really nice day.

Our last day with Brady home before his work picks back up.

Solly is currently chasing Dekker around the living room, whapping him with a pool noodle. Dekker is squealing and egging him on. Its always so nice to have him home from school. School is SO GOOD for Dekker, and he just continues to blossom before my very eyes.

While he was off galavanting at school, the rest of us went to the city. I had a wax and nail appointment…

(Keeping it classy with traditional nail pics, of course)

…and while I was in it, Brady took the kids to an auto shop to finally get our van assessed after that mad hail storm. They even took a picture of the door ding our van received somewhere down the line, so  maybe that’ll get worked out as well! They made a quick trip to Costco, and the kids ate some snacks/lunch while they waited for my appointment to wrap up.

They even bought me flowers at Costco!

Brady dropped me off at my moms when we got back to town, and our quick visit turned into lunch and a slightly longer visit. She drove me home in plenty of time to get to school, pay fees at the office, and go pick Dekker up from his classroom. He was in a super upbeat mood. When I asked for his favorite part of the day, he said he loved everything. We enjoyed our walk home together. I know he won’t walk hand in hand with me forever, so I’m soaking it up as long as I can!

Supper will be chicken fingers, fries, and salad. Yum!