The Daily Hailey

We have been so covered and protected recently in very facet of our needs. While we have no official meal train, I haven’t had to cook for a few days thanks to the loving kindness of those around us. Even today, supper and dessert walked through the door around 8:30am. Praise the Lord, as He provides over and over again.

This morning has felt a little disjointed. I got up a bit earlier than I have the last week or two in anticipation of being ready for home care to arrive and being a bit more on top of things. Rather, home care didn’t come, called an hour late, and said they’d be another hour. Its hard. I get that we’re home anyway, but still. Its hard. Our needs feel pressing, but so do everyone’s in pall home care. So Brady slept in a bit and the day got going.

Kids argued with me a bunch. We are imperfect. I sent them outside to pick our deeply neglected raspberries and some of our bigger crab apples. We have three apple trees in the backyard and one is definitely yummier than the rest. And the apples are bigger so they’re less annoying to actually eat. The less fighty kids brought in a nice haul of raspberries and two ice cream pails of apples. The dream is to make a crisp. We’ll see if I get there today. If I don’t, I’ll just freeze it all and do it another day. I know of ALL times, I kind of have no business trying to preserve anything, but freezing in a bag is something I can do, I think.

My body is weary today. But my heart is encouraged knowing we have some new plans in place for hopefully tomorrow already! Maybe a nicer bed for Brady. Maybe a good lift to help him get in and out of bed. Maybe even a chair that is better that what he has now but isn’t gigantic and impossible to transport. So many ideas. SO many valuable connections. Its all quite surreal most days, to be honest. In both good ways and bad.

I was so discouraged not being at the lake this weekend. It wasn’t going to be a regular weekend. We had important connections brewing up there. But God shows up regardless of our plans, as ALWAYS, and gave everyone involved some peace and comfort in the situation.

Praise the Lord, for He has done (and STILL DOES) great things!!!!

Thank you. To every last one of you who took the time to read along, comment, message, or pray along with us yesterday, we thank you. The times are hard here, and also precious. Somewhere we never anticipated being. We have NOT forgotten that God delivers miracles every 👏 single 👏 DAY! 👏 So please continue to pray with us for such a gift. Regardless of the outcome, we trust God, and live for Him, however that looks.

I’ve said before, we are blessed with resources and attentive help around every corner. Today, for instance.

My mom took the kids to church, because they really wanted to go. Rowan opted to hang back with the young ones, and set LD and Spoons up to color at the table with him while Brady and I had coffee and took some deep breaths.

Then, my mom invited the kids back to her place after they ate lunch. She reads them novels, and they love it. So she did that, Brady napped, and I crocheted and watched A Toxic Love Story. Down time!

My mom is bringing a meal out of her freezer for us tonight so we don’t have to think, and we have a big Costco premade salad to add to the mix!

And once the babies are in bed, our accessibility guy turned good friend is coming over to talk lifts, renovations, etc.

See? It is UNDENIABLE that God is watching out for us. How else could we have such ease at a time of such huge struggle and sorrow?! Only by the power of God! He provides and provides and provides again!

So. I don’t think its a secret that things are changing over here. We are not private people. The only reason we haven’t been fully forthcoming is because it is positively exhausting sharing hard news. Sitting down and taking that time to write it all out. Its gutting. We are all tired enough as it is. But if I don’t share, people can’t know how to pray. So. Here we are.

Brady’s health has deteriorated. Over the course of a couple of days, he entirely lost the use of his left hand. His hand doesn’t grasp. His arm hardly lifts at all. It is pretty well dead to him. Not only does that suck in general, but it makes moving and mobility really hard. He can’t transfer himself at all. His speech has also suffered, and he stumbles over words and pronunciations fairly often.

We always aim to have positive attitudes, but I won’t deny that things are hard here.

Goodness I’m having a hard time typing this all out.

Brady has a hospital bed now. After a couple of nights sleeping next to him on the floor, I have a frame to at least bring my mattress up beside his. It is awful to have lost so much already, and then not even be able to share a bed anymore.

We have a humungous hoyer lift in our room. Four slings to test out. Of course, thats assuming we can even get it to work in our room. May have to pull up the carpet in there. Hallway too. But maybe not. Thats a question for another day.

Most asked question: Why did this happen? Will he get a scan and get it figured out?

Lamest answer ever: We don’t know for sure what happened. But here is how that conversation has gone.

Brady could have a scan, yes. However.

If it shows a stroke, then 🤷‍♀️ he had one. Nothing to really do for it.

If it shows a bleed, then 🤷‍♀️ he had one. Same story.

If it shows progression of his tumour, the only real answer is radiation. Which starts next week.

So with that, no one feels investigation is necessary. It would be a TON of work to get him in and set up and transferred and whatnot just for a scan to reveal any of those options. It would make no difference.

This might not be as informative as I originally hoped it would be, but I’m totally exhausted just typing it out. Lots of unknowns, but lots of hard things we do know. Somehow, though, we find ourselves still covered by the true peace of the Lord. Doesn’t mean things are easy or nice. They’re sad and difficult. But God is present and its undeniable. We feel it through our hearts, completely honestly we do. But the love and support and kindness from our community and our loved ones is remarkably reassuring, also. To be taken care of in person, both closely and at a distance, in body and soul, is more than SO MANY in our position experience. We are consistently reminded how blessed we are. How many people love and care about us. How much we have to be grateful for.

For these things – for these hard times – we praise the Lord 💜

I have been very well loved and spoiled over the course of these last two days 💜 One lucky lady over here!

We’ve moved slowly here at home. We’ve had OT come by. Home care. Lots of change is afoot over here. Its a hard time. Understatement of the year 😅 But in the midst of the challenges, we’ve been supplied with food, home help, offers, flowers, treats, and just so so many prayers. Behold 🙌 the pizza that was ordered to our home on my birthday! Labelled a la Waverly.

We all got a kick out the Hawaiian 🤣

The days are both long and short. I’m exhausted and wired. Grateful and reeling. I’m ready to pack it in for the night. Will share more as soon as I can 💜

Happy Birthday  to my dear, sweet best friend, Hailey.

This is obviously not how you, or anyone, would choose to spend a birthday. Life has apparently decided that a peaceful birthday is simply too boring for you.

But knowing you, you would still argue that you are surrounded by the people you love, and therefore it counts.

Which is very noble and beautiful of you.

Personally, I would also like cake, a nap, silence, room service, and absolutely nobody asking me where their things are, but this post is not about me.

The other day, I was watching Law & Order: SVU, which I realize is shocking information to absolutely no one, and one of the lawyers who worked alongside Olivia Benson said something to her that stopped me in my tracks.

He said:

“The world was an old movie. It was all black and white and it was high noon. I was Gary Cooper… And then you… you started to weasel your way into my world, and the black and white became different shades of gray… Before I knew it, there were blues and greens and yellows and reds. I’m you now, Liv. You opened my heart, and I thank you for it.”

I have been holding onto that quote for days because the way he described Olivia’s impact on his life is exactly how I feel about you.

When we first became friends, I was living in a world that felt very black and white. I was hurting, guarded, stubborn, and probably not particularly easy to “weasel” your way into.

But you did it anyway.

You slowly made your way into my life, refused to let me disappear, and somehow added colour back into places I had forgotten could ever be bright again.

You changed my mind, softened my heart, and changed the direction of my life.

And somehow you accomplished all of that while raising approximately 47 children, caring for everyone around you, surviving things that would flatten most people, and still remembering whether somebody prefers cream or sugar in their coffee.

That is what happens when Jesus lives inside someone.

People feel Him when they are around you.

They want to become better—not because you make them feel ashamed, but because you remind them who they could be by always believing in them!

Around you, people feel convicted but never condemned. They feel safe, they feel important, they feel heard. They feel loved.

You have this incredible ability to carry your own pain while still noticing everyone else’s. You make room for people even when your own life has very little room left to give.

And yes, sometimes you are stubborn.

Sometimes you insist you are “fine” when anyone with functioning eyesight can see that you are running entirely on faith, caffeine, and the emotional equivalent of one remaining chicken nugget.

But even then, you keep loving people.

I know there is so much happening right now. Life is hard. Things are sad. Your vacation ended far too soon, and your birthday probably looks nothing like what you imagined.

I would love to continue writing until this became a full-length autobiography, a devotional, and possibly an unauthorized episode of SVU.

But I will conclude by saying this:

I love you so much.

I am unbelievably grateful that you were born. Thank you, Jeanne, for your contribution to society.

The world is better because Hailey is in it.

My world is brighter because you are in it.

And even though today may not be perfect, you are right about one thing: you are surrounded by people who love you.

And that is a lot of people.

A lot of people whose lives are more colourful because you never give up on them.

A lot of people you have made feel safe, important, heard, and deeply loved.

Happy Birthday, beautiful Hailey.

You mean the world to so many people.

But you changed mine. 

Our week at camp didn’t take, and unfortunately, we came home on Monday.

I’m tired, and I don’t have a whole lot in me to go over all the details thus far. What I can tell you is that Brady’s mobility took a bit of a turn and we were no longer able to make do at the lake.

It got a bit high stakes, and I actually ended up calling the fire department in Christopher Lake for a lift assist, but the very kind fire chief did some calling and didn’t have anyone nearby to wrangle for such a thing. So I am incredibly proud to say the kids and I managed to get Brady and I out of bed, into his chair, and into the BUS! 😳 That was an undertaking, but everyone took on their role. Wavy buckled up the three little ones into their carseats, and Solly tidied up the campsite and tied up loose ends like that. Laela and Rowan worked to brace the wheelchair, and then be quick to remove it when it became a hassle underfoot. Meanwhile, I pushed Brady from under his butt, and Dekker pulled him by his pits from the inside. And we got him in!!!

We were greeted at home by a loving friend who has followed along with some of the changes we’ve been experiencing. We had help with getting him out of the bus, into his chair, and then into bed. She offered so much peace in our house and our current situation. Laela told me directly “I feel so safe when she’s here.”

The next day, the kids did an absolutely beautiful job of pitching in and helping, giving lots of grace, and earning my praises all day long. So we did the whole day well, then put all three little ones down, and cracked out The Greatest Showman. The kids have never seen it, but they love the music, so it was VERY well received.

It was a really nice. A solid high point.

That feels like enough of that for today. I’m tired. Supper in bed with Brady after kids are down. I’m ready.

Tomorrow is a new day 💜

The title isn’t great, but it makes sense when you keep scrolling.

I am not sure what it is about the Born girls, but they are the only ones who remind me of the Olsen twins. First it was Laela, and then Waverly. Around 8-10 I always saw a little Mary-kate when I saw Laela.

Something in the shape of her head, nose, mouth. Her big blue beautiful eyes. Even her athletic abilities!

Now that Waverly is around that age, and even shares a similar sense of style at times, I just see teeny glimpses here and there that bring back a nostalgic feeling.

Of course both Laela and Waverly have their own very beautiful looks, sense of style, and identities. There is no comparing. 

It has just been such a blast to see jean overalls still in, and a summer-bleach-blonde cutie soak up the sun 

Thank you Lord for this miracle baby! 

Cher

Some folks chase creams in jars of gold, with names too long to say,
While I just borrow humble clay that lounged outside all day.
It doesn’t brag, it doesn’t sparkle, it isn’t dressed to win—
It simply sits there in the dirt… then politely fixes skin.

The mud has seen a thousand storms and never learned to boast.
It wasn’t made in Switzerland or blessed by Gwyneth Paltrow’s ghost.
You goop it on, you look unwell… Your lake friends might agree.
But somehow, quite conveniently, your skin says, “Now I’m free!”

Another lovely day. More beautiful time with Cher and our Dahlsjos. More hot time on the beach. More good food shared by the fire. More mosquito bites. More wood burned in the fire pit. More dirt on our feet and pine cones in little mouths. 

I am so deeply grateful for this beautiful place 🥰 Thank you Lord for consistently giving us more than we need! 

Goodness, all, it was such a lovely day today. We FINALLY got Dekker back to Kinasao and into my arms. Let me tell you, he is taller and older and so crazy handsome I don’t even know where he came from. It’s so so good to see him!! 

He came up to camp courtesy of Cher, who I also love so so much! It is so precious to have her back at Kinasao again. It’s been a long time, and today we sat on the beach while the kids played in the water. We walked the docks. Stoked fires. Just rested and shared air. It was really nice 💜 

We celebrated two birthdays! 🥳🥳 One I can’t talk about, which is totally heartbreaking. And one was Kelly, the man of the Dahlsjo house! Big fan of that guy! He puts up with us year after year, and I secretly think he likes us more this year so that only makes me like him more 🤣 

But I am waaaaay too tired to write more. I have lots of beautiful pictures to share soon but first, snacks and sleep 😴