Dark Mornings

Christmas decorations were up for a couple of months, and we all got really used to it, myself included. Every morning, I would come out of our room, juggling laundry to dump and dishes from night snacks and/or morning coffee, into the pitch dark. And I would whisper to our Echo to turn on the Christmas lights. And she would whisper back “ok” and everything would light up. And it was beauuuuutiful. I love that part of the season.

When I packed up Christmas, I took it all down. Sometimes we’ve left pieces up for longer, like the railing lights, or the trees above the cabinets, but this year I did it all at once. Being a bit more on my own with those things, it takes a bit more out of me, and I didn’t want to have to pull out all the Christmas tubs more than once. So in one fell swoop, it was ALL down.

Now, in the morning, when I make my way out of our room, arms full of all the things, I’m also fumbling with my phone flashlight in an effort to stay alive long enough to make it down the stairs.

Just a couple of days ago, I found myself so utterly frustrated with this. I considered getting the lights back down and lighting up one small area, or even just moving a lamp to the switch that is Amazon Echo enabled so I can get some light. There would be a simple enough solve, I’m sure.

But then I remembered what I do love about the dark mornings.

Without the early mornings being dark, I would never get to appreciate the sun rising earlier and earlier. I get up at virtually the same time every school morning, and in the years past, I have really enjoyed watching the seasons change in this way. One day, probably not too far in the future, I’ll make my way out of my room right around 7:20, and I’ll be able to see just that much clearer. Soon, I’ll ditch my phone flashlight altogether. And shortly after that, everyone else will be SO much more awake in the morning because the light makes life so much easier that way.

I suppose this is my own version of driving to and from work in the dark, and watching the sunrises and sunsets change ๐Ÿ’œ The days getting longer means spring is on its way! And I am READY for spring.

Wavy and Walmart

Productive Hailey has another big day on the books. Thank goodness its Friday. I think we’ll give her the weekend off.

This morning, she took Waverly into the city for a Walmart run. They got aaaaall kinds of things for lunches (ie: quick oats, pizza crusts, pizza sauce, brown sugar, tart shells, ham) as well as some other items. They even found a big ole pan of discounted stewing beef, and a purple crafty tape measure. They told me that ALL the spring/easter dishes are out, and they are SO cute. They talked about replacing our dishes with those dishes, but I was the grown up and told them to pass. It was hard.

Once Walmart was done, Productive Hailey and Ready for Whatever Wavy hit up Bulk Barn, and on their quest to find sprinkles, they also found ranch corn nuts, and the mini chocolate chips they couldn’t find at Walmart.

They each ate a Fruit-to-go on the drive home. Productive Hailey put in a request for us to buy a big box of those. They are cheap and little. Would be good to throw in the lunches that Average Hailey hates packing.

Once the kids are home, Productive Hailey is back on the clock. I’m going to ask her to make pizza buns. Maybe more granola bars, too. Maybe quiche for supper? But maybe quiche would be better on the weekend. I’m not sure. I’ll talk with her about it, and see how much she’s willing to do for me today.

Unrelated not about Productive Hailey: I wanted to call her P-Hailey. But that reads PHailey. Which is Failey. Which I might be a little sensitive about ๐Ÿค” So maybe not.

Wavy Plays Outside

Today, I was going to ask Wavy a question, but I lost my train of thought, and she went with it anyway.

Me: Wavy what is your favorite thiiiiiiing…

Wavy: PRESCHOOL!

It was really cute ๐Ÿ’œ And her love for preschool is evident to anyone who knows her. She loves her teacher. She loves her friends. She loves the crafts, and the stories, and the songs.

But she LOVES playing outside!

Today, Cher and I drove to pick her up, and she was madly pulling a sled with a kid in it, who was in turn holding the rope of yet another sled with another kid in it!! So if you couldn’t get through that, Waverly was trying to tow two kids, and it was hilarious to watch. By the time I got her into the van, she plunked down in her seat, exhausted.

Wavy: I pulled two kids!!!

Me: Wow! How strong are you?!

Wavy: *deep sigh* Not very strong!

I got her sweaty little self home and lunched. Goodness she is just the cutest little thing!

Nap time for my little hard worker! And for myself, some lunch and some crocheting should make for a restful afternoon! Lots is on the go, little of which I have any control over, so this brain needs some extra relaxation!

At the Mechanic

We haven’t dumped enough time, energy, or money into our vehicles yet this season ๐Ÿ™„ so we decided to do some more.

This is an obviously terrible joke. I’m SO over taking vehicles in to get things done. But alas, the last thing we had done to the bus didn’t work our properly, and we needed to bring it back in. Our plan was to drive everyone in yesterday and drive home in the minivan, leaving the bus for the night, and picking it up this evening. And thats doable, but its a pain. It means additional trips in. Additional gas. Displacing the whole family. Twice. Its fine, but its annoying.

Sometimes, however, the man who runs our mechanic shop offers to drive his customers somewhere in the meantime. Which is lovely! So rather than all the extra drives in, I decided to take Wavy in this morning, and that we could mall walk or go hang out at Value Village while they worked the hour and a halfish on our van. No sweat.

Except it is just a crazy busy season for them, and there was no option to get a ride somewhere. So, we waited.

I am so grateful Waverly is exactly who she is – a patient, friendly, fun loving little girl who is happy to be wherever her people are, no matter whats going on. She is up for anything, even if that means sitting in the waiting room at the mechanics for a solid hour. They even had a little table with some colouring!

Sooooo we coloured, but she was done after one picture, and we moved over to sit in a comfy chair and stare at the man across from us ๐Ÿ˜ณ Finally, his vehicle was ready, and he left. Meanwhile, we pulled up all the videos on my phone from camp last year, and we watched and reminisced and speculated on the season to come. We are all SO ready for the lake.

As it turns out, after a full hour, we are at a standstill with the van, and will have to look for parts or ideas or some other creative way to get things working 100%. But it drives and is dependable, so all is well there. Wavy and I said our thank yous and hit the road for some well deserved donuts.

Two chocolate dipped donuts later, we are home, and both snuggled in blankets on the couch ๐Ÿ’œ Is it naptime yet?

Checking Things Off

Our new hire, Productive Hailey, is still floating around on a part-time basis, checking things off the list of to-dos. She took the trees down from above the cabinets, even though they usually stay up all winter. Productive Hailey is a go-getter, apparently.

After that, she also finally took down the paper chains from Brady’s chemo party last year, and the Happy Birthday sign from Jaxon’s birthday in November. I want it cleaned up in here. And conveniently, Productive Hailey takes coffee for payment! My counselling appointment for this afternoon was rescheduled, so that leaves even more time for some healthy balance between rest and readiness.

Readiness for….. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ Who the heck knows.

I tend to hire Productive Hailey on and off, but only part time. Honestly, she’s more of a casual worker. She’s a temp. There it is. A temp. I hire her usually in January. I hire her when my anxiety is high, or I’m more worried than usual. I hire her when there are big changes, such as with Brady’s health, or maybe the house.

This time around, Productive Hailey is mostly on the clock because of the impending month ahead, and I don’t want to struggle harder than necessary. Regarding the food prep, anyway. I also have a LOT of house stuff on my mind. Ask anyone who is close to me. If moving starts to actually feel possible, or close, or even this year, I want to be purging and cleaning and ready to sell this house at a moments notice! So I think the tidying and purging comes from that. Aaaaand all the underlying weight we carry off of the blog.

Today holds actually packing up the trees that came down, as well as chopping up a bunch of veggies for the week, making pizza buns, and doing laundry. And someday soon, I need to gut my big freezer. So. Many. Empty. Boxes. Its such a mess. Aaaaanyway.

Good thing we have Productive Hailey on payroll.

And her cute sidekick, Ready for Whatever Wavy!

Though, let’s be real. While I’ve been blogging, Productive Hailey doesn’t done a single thing. Slacker.

The “Kid Stuff” Tree

This Christmas, our tree ornaments were SO awesome. Very few Christmas balls were on the tree that didn’t have some kind of crafty component. Brady expressed how excited he is for the day that ALL of our ornaments are special, either bought from special places, made by special people, or carrying special associations. I feel exactly the same way. And today, as I take some of our decorations down, I am really enjoying see them all for myself. When everyone decorates the tree together, the kids are excited to hang the ornaments they made, and therefore, I don’t necessarily see them all. Then we have some sneaky kids who brought home ornaments they made at school and just hung them up without really telling anyone. There were a few surprised on the tree that I almost missed! I even found one that one of Solly’s friends made for him. It was all just SO cute.

ALL the popsicle stick snowmen.

ALL the trees and wreaths made out of puzzle pieces.

ALL the salt dough shapes.

ALL the handprint Christmas balls.

ALL the paper. My goodness. I don’t know about you, but I subtly chuck all the paper stuff at the end of the season. I always get new the next time, lol!

And ALL the candy cane reindeer. You know what I’m talking about. Anyone else?

Someone sneaky has been eating my reindeer…

I love Christmas, but its feeling cluttered in here, and I’m ready for that to be done now.

Ornaments are down. โœ…
Trinkety decor is down. โœ…

Gotta lunch Waverly, and then see what I’m jazzed about next. I might keep going. Take down the lights from the tree, or the railings, or above the cabinets. Or take down the trees from above the cabinets. Or I might rest. I’m not sure.

Its going to get worse before it gets better, but at least its started!

Taking Down Christmas

As is part of my need to prepare for ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ who even knows, I’m eager to also take down Christmas. I usually drag that out pretty long. Especially last year. Putting Christmas up last year was just brutally difficult, and it only happened right before the actual holiday. And then it stayed up forever. This year, I just want it down. It feels like a huge job, but I’d prefer to do it sooner rather than later, just in case February is indeed really hard, and I don’t have the headspace for it until March.

Thats on the list this week. Once Brady is back at work, I can get the boxes down out of the garage a bit more easily, and start putting things away. I need to be better at doing jobs that won’t necessarily get done at once, and letting them stretch out a little. I really hate those big tasks. I hate having the mess for days. But if I wait for the weekend, and then I am so pooped, then it waits another whole week. So I have to get to it this week. Its just necessary. I feel SO much better when things are organized in my head and my house.

There are a good handful of things to accomplish this week, but I’m hopeful that I will get it all done ๐Ÿ™‚ I will feel better during the days, and I will sleep better at night.

Enjoy your Sunday, friends! ๐Ÿ’œ Do you have your Christmas stuff down already? It feels early, but maybe we’re late…

Granola Bars with Wavy

I’m feeling preppy these days. Not the standard preppy, but like, preparationy. You get it.

I feel very much the same as I did two years ago. Its so bizarre. Two years ago, we didn’t even know Brady had a tumour. We didn’t know he would have surgery. We didn’t know he would live at the hospital for nine weeks. But instinct told me to prepare. And while nothing could have prepared us for what was to come, I did everything I could to quash that feeling. In my case, this mostly meant meal prepping.

I don’t know if its just the new year or if its straight up body memory preparing for the month ahead. February is a hard month. Its a full month, and it was a really traumatizing month two years ago.

Anyway. I’m feeling the need to prep some of the hard things ahead of time. And one of my biggest frustrations is packing lunches. It may in fact be the death of me. So I’m feeling eager to get things in order for that. So I’ve been getting into the swing of grab and go lunches, starting with granola bars that the kids love and that freeze well. Wavy is a very cute kitchen helper, which makes things easier.

Next will be the mini pizza buns and cheese buns. Hopefully I can do muffins too. I need to grab a few more boxes of cheese strings, and I’ll maintain fresh stuff as always. I should get some boost for me, also. But I’m on my way to having at least one small thing prepared.

This seems small, but I’m trying to go with my gut, and my gut says to prepare. So I’m gonna.

Aaaaand if anyone else has any cool ideas of lunch things that I can make a mountain of in advance just to make my life easier, they would be greatly appreciated! ๐Ÿ’œ

Kid Updates: Reader’s Digest Edition

Behold ๐Ÿ™Œ The smallest, least significant kid updates known to man!

Dekker looks like a teenager these days. Still soft and young but also just so grown up. He is a kindergarten helper again, and he LOVES it. He loves that they all want to wrestle with him and chase him around. I really love his face when I get to see the whole thing ๐Ÿ’œ He has great dots. And great eyebrows. And huge eyes. And his skin is still crazy soft.

The girlies are terribly cute. They fight more than ever these days, specifically once they’re both in bed. But the morning is fresh, and it shows ๐Ÿ’œ Waverly will unceremoniously flip the lights on, come dive onto Laela, steal her stuffed bunny, Chester, and lay on her. And Laela doesn’t flinch beyond a “Good morning, Wavy.” She just hacks it! Wavy likes to harass her, and Laela takes it like a champ. A very tolerant big sister. In the morning. Lol! They have good love no matter what ๐Ÿ’œ

The middle boys are doing really, really well these days. Solly has had an awesome shift this school year, but even since Christmas, he is different. He is more awake. Brighter. He reads and tries to write words as they sound. He comprehends better and seems to listen better. He makes jokes and can take them, as well. Its wonderful.

Meanwhile, Rowan is a whole different boy. I want to talk more about that soon. This morning, he dropped a bowl in the kitchen, and it broke. And he cried. He didn’t scream or panic, but he cried. I hugged him. He apologized. I reassured him over and over, but he was reeling. So I told him I forgave him. He grabbed my face and smooched me, and we moved on. Not long ago, that would have destroyed him, and his entire morning. And frankly, everyone else’s morning. But he was able to be soft, and sort his emotions out rather than just being angry. He is entirely different. Its hard to do a Reader’s Digest edition on Rowan. He needs more. But we’ll do that soon.

We had a pretty peaceful morning, save for the one snag with the bowl. The kids got the garbage out on their way to school. It is SO full from Christmas catch-up. SO heavy. I liked the teamwork though ๐Ÿ’œ

I sure love these kids. Thank you, Lord, for making me their mom.

The Great House Debacle: 2023 Edition

Itโ€™s been a while since we talked about our housing situation out loud. When we first broached the subject publicly, it was actually very freeing and relieving. While I was worried that people would think we were just looking to milk Bradyโ€™s paraplegia for an upgraded home, your feedback left us feeling validated and understood. 

There are many reasons why our house is not a sustainable home for Brady. I know many of you will remember most of them, but Iโ€™ll do a very speedy recap. 

We have three staircases. A small entrance. Our bedroom is the highest point in the house. Brady can hardly enter our main floor bathroom. All door frames and entrances are too narrow for him to actually wheel through without beating up his knuckles. He cannot reach the microwave without standing. He cannot get into the pantry. Laundry is downstairs. The breaker box is downstairs. Much of our food is stored in the garage or the basement. The stairs off the deck are too tall to get Brady into the backyard safely that way, but going around is a very long route. Brady cannot answer his front door himself. 

All of these things can be managed. For now. But likely not forever. And waiting until he cannot actually live his life well is not the ideal. We are really hopeful to be in a different housing situation before we reach that point. 

The last time we investigated housing, we didnโ€™t have an income. Understandably, we were a big risk. We tried every avenue possible, but it just wasnโ€™t going to happen. And we understood. We thanked the Lord that Brady was still strong enough to get around in our house, and waited. Since then, Brady has picked up a full time job that he truly loves. Another very clear gift from God! He went from part time to full time to a salaried employee. Our first salary situation! With that guaranteed number, we took to the internet for mortgage calculators! 

And YIKES. It looked awfully hopeless! We have a good chunk of projected equity in our home currently, and even throwing ALL of that at a new home, the calculators were approving us for about 250K. Which, if you know the market, you know is nothing. I wonโ€™t go into all of our financial information on here, obviously, but while our numbers arenโ€™t perfect, they certainly are better than it seemed the internet believed! So we went to our broker. 

I can tell you she gave us a LOT more hope! We were quickly pre-approved for a much higher number than the internet had suggested. 

So. Some of the details. 

Firstly, we pretty much cannot get a builders mortgage. Those are harder to get in general, so while it may be possible, it would be really really hard and probably cost a lot more up front than we are willing to fork over. We could buy a house that already exists, which is definitely something we would happily consider if anything that suited came on the market. And we have yet to find such a home. There are a lot of bi-levels and two storeys! So we are ideally looking at building a home through a builder like last time, where we would give them a deposit, and then they would carry the mortgage through the build, and we would take it on upon completion. 

Fun fact about building houses these days! The cost of materials is SO MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE than it was when we built our current home. 

You may have heard mortgages are a lot different these days, and a lot harder to get. So there are loopholes. The biggest one beiiiiingโ€ฆ

We would have to sell our house BEFORE we could begin our build. 

๐Ÿ˜… 

So that would be a hurdle to jump/plow through before we could really lock anything in place.ย 

Which will, ironically, leave us displaced! 

With five kids.

And a wheelchair. 

Could be verrrrry interesting! *finger tenting*

Even with this detail glaring us in the face, and some decent odds stacked against us, Iโ€™ll admit, Brady and I are feeling more hopeful, and like this build is inevitable down the road. How soon, we donโ€™t know, but it feels more possible. 

We are actually allowing ourselves to talk about it. To think about it. To dream about it! I have began a list of details that are important to change about the next house. Doorways widened, with clear swing hinges. Flooring that wonโ€™t warp. Recessed cabinets under countertops so Brady can get closer. Backing for future grab bars and railings down the road. Higher outlets. A shower that isnโ€™t hard to step into. A wall oven with side swing door. Fewer stairs. Main floor laundry. Main floor freezer. A larger pantry that Brady can roll into. A mud room for the wheelchair to drip off its water and muck. A second main floor bathroom, offering some security. The entire property being landscaped to flow smoothly, barrier free, from the front walk, through the garage, into the house, and out into the backyard. A front door that is accessible to all ๐Ÿ’œ These are just a few of the things on my list. 

The goal to build our absolute forever home is on. God knows what we need, and He always takes care of us. We trust it will come together when its meant to! In the meantime, if you have some great idea of where we could lurk during a home build, please throw ALL your ideas at me! Iโ€™m confident things are going to have to get creative to make it all happen!ย 

Good thing God is an artist!