So a liiiiittle bit more often than previously, I’ve found Dekker and Rowan goofing off together. It’s rare, and only really when Dekker is feeling silly. He’s a fairly serious guy, and doesn’t always jump into the silliness the way the others might. He’s also the oldest, so that all makes sense. Also, realistically, some years have been harder, and the kids have maybe carried less trust for Rowan. That also makes sense, though its been hard to watch. Time heals a lot of things, and ever so slowly, my oldest boys are getting a bit closer. And I am LOVING it.
As are they.
Such. Weirdos. But it warms my heart to see them bond a little, and trust each other.
Keep up the good work, my men 💪 That is a precious bond!!
Today I got a couple of kid free hours. As in there were no kids IN THE HOUSE while I was IN THE HOUSE!!! So I got into work and I got a handful of things going. I got a handful of things taken out of my dumping ground bedroom, got some laundry going, and then I began a big task! I gathered up ALL the medical supplies we’ve accumulated in our home over the last few years and I dumped them all on the dining room table! It was time to sort!
Now, Brady didn’t really have much for medical supplies until this year, but the Morsel had lots from the very beginning, though deemed “not a medical baby.” 😅 Lies. ALL lies. Anyway.
I dragged out the HUGE mess of supplies from our bathroom, as well as an entire plastic drawer unit from the baby room.
Then the kids came home, had lunch, and went down for naps, and I kept on going with my project! It was an oddly peaceful walk through memory lane. Very interesting to see the little bits of what’s left from here and there. I found the oximeter I got from when the Morsel had dangerously low blood oxygen levels. A nebulizer with all the different solutions. Spare NG tubes, with adapters, caps, syringes, etc. Most of the leftover adhesive from that was used up from when NG went to G tube. A spare G tube kit, plus items from recovery – drain sponges, barrier creams, Mesalt gauze, and even some silver nitrate for treating granulation. More adhesive, but that part poured into Bradys things. SO many bandages of differing brands, sizes, and purposes. SO many adhesives, differing in the same categories. Gauze like CRAZY. I found the big Qtips and the packing material for tunnelling infections. Some spare IV kits. So many sprays and cleaners. At least twelve pairs of little silver scissors.
I spent a nice long stretch, in between visits from Munchie Mix, working to sort out the mess at hand. Of course, once it was finally done, it was immediately apparent that the intended home for the supplies was insufficient. Everything is now in a box, slightly less disorganized than before. What can you do?
The day has felt a little long, but I’m very grateful for my quiet time at home to be able to do work at my table with no one pulling anything down or having to hurdle a baby gate. It was peaceful, and I liked that.
This weekend, we were able to do a LOT of clean up at home here. Its certainly not all done, but we took a nice bite out of it.
As summer wore on, LD and Spoons were starting to outgrow their size of clothing. Being that they got SO dirty camping every weekend, and their clothes were getting perpetually butchered, I decided to ride the season out, even if their clothes were slightly ill-fitting, and then refresh their wardrobes when we were good and done at Kinasao.
With pulling out new clothes comes putting away old clothes, which is just as important but a lot less fun. There was much to pack up and go through. Some to donate, lots that were too stained to save, etc. It didn’t help that there were still floating piles of clothes from the lovely, albeit short span of time we had Sugar Beet with us. Those needed packing up as well. Also, Munchie Mix has clothes, but the clothes have no home because the designated spot for those particular clothes is still full of clothes from Peanut. And if that wasn’t enough, I still have two dresser drawers (that are not in a dresser) stacked on top of each other inside my closet, full of clothes from the Morsel!! Can you believe that?? Thats how far behind we are.
So. While there are still clothes in places that need to be dealt with, we took a HUGE chunk out of it. Dekker brought up a TON of tubs from the basement, and Laela and Rowan helped me sort the huge pile of clothes into sizes. Wavy and Solly kept the toddlers occupied. Brady refereed everything under the sun. We repacked the tubs and Dekker got them back downstairs, which was a huge feat. While that part was happening, I was going through the appropriate sized clothing tubs and pulling out what made sense for the right genders and sizes and seasons. Then they ALL went in the washer for a quick wash and dry, just to get them looking and smelling fresh again.
Today was the fun part. I sorted it all out and folded it, and took stock of what we have, what we need, and what wouldn’t hurt to keep an eye out for. One kids has LOTS. One kid needs a couple of things. One kids stuff is still too disorganized to full know 😅 But we’re on our way, and if the clothing in the house stayed in its current state now, we’d be totally fine. It is WAY better. I’m relieved.
I have my list of things to look for now, and I’m ready. Mark my words. All eight kids will soon be fully outfitted for the season.
We have two big boxes of apples living in our pantry right now that we got from a fundraiser through Bradys work. They are absolutely delicious and flavorful. Ugh. Amazing, really. On occasion, the pantry door has been left open and my dear babies have found their way in there to sample the apples. Which is kind of annoying, to be honest, but I recently discovered its also very cute. I have allowed both Spoons and LD to wander the house with their apple, and see how long it lasts, what they do with it, etc. There are moments where I think the apple is gone, and then it resurfaces from who knows where. So far, no crisis has come of them traipsing through the house with an apple in hand.
They don’t know how to eat apples. I usually cut up apples for them in the day, and I give them bite sized chunks. They can eat the slices, but they eat more of it if I make it into bites. So thats the norm. When they have a whole apple in hand, they just get right into it.
And today, it happened.
LD toddled over to me and passed me the stem. If you can even call it that. The sticky outty stem. Nothing else.
And LD toddled back off, totally oblivious to my shock and amazement.
It was a big, busy day, and I’m sure there are other things I could’ve filled a longer post with, but this made me happy 💜 I hope you got a giggle out of it as well.
Every morning, as soon as he hears me start moving around the kitchen, Rowan surfaces from his room. In this season of shorter days and darker mornings, he is sleepy and slow moving when he comes to me.
This morning he came up to me, all lanky, in his gitch, and leaned into me for a hug. I hugged him for a few seconds before we broke apart and he headed back in the direction of his room. As we came out of our hug, in his quiet raspy morning voice, he said to me “Morning, mom. Cute cherries.” And he was gone down the hallway.
Took me a second, but I got it.
He liked my tshirt. The one I got from Value Village that makes me feel like a homesteader when I’m actually a total poser.
My honey mustard is uncomplicated. Like. The most basic. Its just mayo, honey, mustard, and lemon juice. Nothing about it is from scratch or special. But its yummy. We eat tons of it all summer because we eat TONS of salad when the weather is hot. Less when its cold.
Brady asked for chunky chicken salad for his birthday supper, and I used up the end of our honey mustard. So today I mixed more. And it reminded me where I was at with kitchening when I first started making it. It was the worlds most basic recipe, yet I was SO scared to try anything new. SO scared. I was FLOORED when it tasted good. It was such a teeny recipe, too, with things measured in spoons, and it made such a teeny bit. Even just that felt daunting. What if I doubled it and somehow, it didn’t double well, and then it would suck?! I just couldn’t wrap my head around it actually working.
I say again. It is SUCH a nothing recipe, its embarrassing how afraid I was.
But now its whipped up in seconds flat, without much thought at all. I do still measure, however, because its delicious made that way so I keep it that way. But I make much bigger batches, and thankfully it does multiply well, hahaha!
I even got to incorporate *gasp* A GHOST! to the experience today.
Its small. And silly. And nothing. But that alone shows me how far I’ve come, and as humbling as that can be, I’m glad I can see it.
Let’s talk about last week main event. If you can’t hack a little potty talk, feel free to skip this one! Its definitely a bit of a vulnerable post.
We discovered last Sunday that Brady had a bladder infection. Unfortunately, these have become a bit of a chronic issue, happening frequently throughout the summer months and now into fall.
This time around, when we noticed the murky urine, we decided with our doctor to go get blood drawn and urine tested, while waiting a couple of days to see what kind of infection we were dealing with. I think we were all a little suspicious that it could be the same infection just lurking, never quite getting kicked fully to the curb. So since Brady had no physical pain or discomfort from it, no blood, and no other symptoms of infection (ie fevers) that we would wait. Cloudy pee can live a day or two.
But WOW could it ever NOT.
On Tuesday morning, Brady left work after feeling really really sick. His stomach was very gurgly and he was feeling nauseated. Having had chemo the Friday before, and still taking the anti nausea medication for it, we figured it was a reaction to his treatment. So home he came, with coffee in hand for himself, Cher, and I. He rolled in, friendly and upbeat, as is so often the case. He headed right for our bathroom, where he proceeded to have absolutely wild diarrhea. Into the shower. More diarrhea. Back and forth between the two he went, which in itself is a huge effort already, much less when he feels so unbelievably ill. Finally he made it to our bed, where he began shaking uncontrollably. We’ve all had a good shivery fever, I’m sure, but this was a cut above the rest. Out came the heating pad. Rowans weighted blanket. I finally lay on top of him. The shakes would not let up. Did you know those are called rigors?? Isn’t that horrid?? Anyway, he just shook and shook. His head and neck did not feel or read feverish, but his body was very hot and sweaty. I brought him Tylenol to calm the fever and ondansetron for his nausea. DON’T COME FOR ME ABOUT MEDS!!! Regardless, he threw them up shortly thereafter.
Conveniently, we had a scheduled phone call with our family doctor maybe ten minutes after he had gotten into bed. We had very different things to discuss, but we naturally ended up talking about the situation we found ourselves in. We agreed that whatever infection he had was out of control, and he needed to be seen immediately. She said to go to emergency. No time to waste. Get him there. She took it upon herself to end our call, and then to call City Hospital emergency department and speak to the doctor on call there.
In the meantime, Brady was worried about his bowels and eager to get back to the bathroom, but he couldn’t get up. He was absolutely not ok. Not managing at all. He couldn’t fathom getting back into his chair, putting on a shirt, moving at all. Anything that took energy or strength was off the table. He looked pretty forlorn when he told me he couldn’t even imagine how he’d ever get into the van. He knew.
Before our doctor called us back, I had already called 911. It was so awful. They were lovely, but it was just a scary scene. “Keep a close eye on him, and if he stops responding, lay him on his side.” Things like that I do not like to hear. But, I understood, and I received it. Tom, our local fire chief, also happens to be a beloved father figure to both Brady and I. He hauled over to our house SO fast upon receiving the call, and made sure we were managing while we waited for the ambulance to arrive.
And we did manage, well enough at least, until two very lovely paramedics came and helped Brady get into his chair and onto a stretcher. Cher disappeared at that point in an effort to give Brady dignity, which is hard to have in circumstances like that. I had thrown some fresh clothes, his wallet, and all of Bradys meds into his backpack. The group of us walked out and waited in the driveway while the paramedics got Brady hooked up to an IV and some monitors. And then they were gone.
💔 Ugh. HATED that.
Unfortunately, because City Hospital has fluctuating hours, ambulances aren’t allowed to bring patients to their emergency department :/ RUH was our second choice, so that’s where they went.
I won’t lie. It really sucked to have my husband whisked off to the hospital in such bad shape, and not jump in there with him. But. It was less scary than seizure day! We already knew he had an infection. Plus, he was still responding, and even cracking some jokes from his spot bundled up in bed. He was still him. He just needed to get medical attention and I could not be the one to get him there.
He waited in the waiting room at RUH for a good while. Paramedics stayed nearby until he was admitted to a room.
More blood and pee was taken for testing.
And most importantly, he was started on an IV antibiotic right away. THANK GOODNESS! The doctor on staff seemed so confident that Brady was likely on the cusp of going septic, which would mean his blood would be carrying the infection. Sepsis is BAD. SCARY. People die of sepsis. So antibiotics right in the bloodstream felt super smart.
It wasn’t too long before he started to feel a lift in symptoms. His shakes stopped. His nausea lifted. He felt hungry, and normal. He finally got the word that I could come pick him up. I finished putting the first batch of kids down for night, and Cher hung out with the others while I went in to retrieve my husband. Thank you Cher!!!
We finished getting his shoes and such on before they discharged him, and I broke him out of there! We grabbed some JBCs on the drive home since the staff had left to get him food and never came back 😅 He sat for We all know how emergency can get. Its no ones fault, it was just circumstance. He was home, fed, and settled into our bed. That was most important.
Brady went back in the next day for reassessment and a second dose of IV antibiotics. He already felt markedly better! The second infusion took half an hour tops, but NO ONE WOULD DISCHARGE HIM!!! He sat for two and half hours after the infusion was done. Again, no bad blood. Circumstance. Busyness. Its ALL good. We texted with our doctor a bit more and got her unofficial blessing to sign an AMA form (leaving against medical advice) and leave. So he did. He took his IV out in the parking lot, and came home. The ER doctor called him maybe 45 minutes after he left, and left a message saying to please follow up with your family doctor. Already on it!
Brady’s two IV antibiotic infusions were successful and got his infection back under control control. Therefore, they moved him back to oral antibiotics, and life seems to have resumed. Believe it or not, bloodwork is still waiting, but as with blood cultures, they have to have a few days to grow before they can see what actual bacteria is forming. The fact that there was nothing notable brought forward in the first couple of days is very encouraging. Maybe he didn’t hit that point of actual sepsis after all. I sincerely hope thats the case anyway.
The moral of this story in particular FOR BRADY is to go for cultures the moment he sees any sign of infection whatsoever. Don’t get me wrong. We are all for not panicking and for letting things play out a bit. Our bodies were made to fight things!! But Bradys immune system is compromised, to say the least, and while he is in the thick of treatments and therapies and medicine and all the other wild things, we will do all we can to keep his body healthy.
I’m always very relieved on Brady’s birthday, because then we are both a year older, not just me. 😅
We are now both officially 37. And goodness my man looks GOOD 😍
There is no other human I have met that is stronger than this man right here. No other human who has crossed even similar bridges to the ones he has, and come out as well as he has. And that particular brand of strength ONLY comes from God. There is no other excuse for it, haha! It is ALL his faith in God, and the true surrender to Him.
I think I could fairly safely say that much of his life is not for the faint of heart. Cancer. Paraplegia. Fostering. But conveniently, Brady is not faint of heart 💜 Everyone has moments, of course, but when your heart is faint, it can be made strong. Psalm 61:2 says “From the ends of the earth, I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.” And THAT right there is how Brady stays afloat. I’d say its how he’s still standing. But. You know.
My sweet man, you just get better and better with age. Your medical file would disagree, but I insist that it is the absolute truth.
I LOVE who you were when we got married.
I LOVE who you were when we started our family.
I LOVE who you were before this whole mess began.
I LOVE who you are becoming. That guy the most, for sure.
Sorry eating isn’t as fun these days 💜 We’ll get you all caught up one of these days, and you’ll be able to enjoy your favorites again. But hopefully leftover pumpkin pie counted for your birthday dessert this year. Next year, we’ll be back to steak ‘n’ cake. I can feel it.
I am so unbelievably grateful that you were born, Brady 💜 Thank you for choosing me years ago, and every day still. I love you 💜
It snowed this weekend. We all know. But if it really shows up now, it was our fault.
We’re the problem.
Its us.
On our final day off from school and work, we got the kids to put on their full winter garb and see what fits, what doesn’t, what can pass down, what is too worn out, and what we need to acquire to complete the full set of warm clothes for all the kids.
Unexpectedly, SO MUCH passed down through the kids, and we don’t need to find a whole lot more! Woohoo!! I love when that happens. We love hand me downs, and also, I love being more prepared than I thought I was 😅
But, as happens, we may have poked the polar bear by pulling these things out and putting them on 😬 Please forgive us in advance.
It was a quiet Thanksgiving for us this year, but that doesn’t mean it was bad. It was honestly a very lovely day today 💜 The snow was only kind of ok…
We made our way to church FINALLY after being gone since May-ish?? It has been positively ages, but since camp wrapped up, we lost one weekend to volleyball and one to chemo, so we made it back as soon as was possible!
We churched, and visited, and then came home for lunch. Except I had no plan. So we went for snacky lunch of whatever yummy things were floating around. Ie: leftovers, crackers, oranges, apples, tomatoes, fried eggs, etc. It was a success.
Post lunch, babies went for naps, and Brady and I actually set up in the living room with a show 💜 I crocheted, and we watched, and rested.
Earlier this year, my mom got together with some friends and made us a couple of big beastly turkey dinners for the freezer. So today, we cracked one out, and with minimal effort, had a delicious meal of mashed potatoes, turkey, stuffing, corn, and my moms delicious turkey gravy. Good enough to steam ones face over, if you ask me and Dekker.
I made some little baby pumpkin pies in tart shells last night, so we ate some of those for dessert. I wish I could show you all the cute pictures I got of the babies today, all adorable, dressed for church, eating pumpkin tarts, etc. I guess you’ll just have to trust me that it was a pretty cute crew.
Anyway. Kids are in bed. The dishwasher is humming. I even did a little crocheting. It seems like the day was well spent 💜
Thank you Lord for giving us such a sweet day. We ask for similar morale tomorrow 😅
