I’d love to recount a few very sweet moments of the day on here 🙂 Its impossible to keep record of everything every day, but I had such a pleasant day with my family today. The kids are just coming into their own these days, and I’m so delighted to take them out and watch them surprise me over and over again. We’ll go in order.

We asked Dekker this morning if he thought he should have a haircut, and he said “yes!” So we called our salon and booked an appointment for noon today. While we all drove into the city, I kind of prepped him. If you remember, his haircuts aren’t always the smoothest of appointments, and we let him get pretty shaggy before we take him again. But he was amped, so we went for it. I figured I’d push my luck and even tell him he had to wear the cape this time. Our running deal is that he gets a smoothie after his haircut, so adding the cape was a gamble, but he accepted. When we arrived at the mall, as we got them out of their carseats, he even commented that maybe she would “put some stuff in it after.” I told him I was sure she would. When we actually got in there, he completely went along with things. He panicked a bit when Carlinna put the cape on but I pep talked him out of it. He then proceeded to have the EASIEST haircut ever! He made faces into the mirror the entire time, and told Carlinna jokes while she cut his hair. She quietly commented to me that he had never actually talked to her before. It was pretty awesome to see him handle it all so well. Towards the end, Carlinna asked him if she could use the trimmer around his ears. He had always screamed about that in the past, to a point where we just haven’t even tried it the last few times. She demonstrated it on her skin, saying “Oh, that doesn’t hurt at all! In fact, it tickles a little!” He gave her permission, and she actually was able to trim around his ears and clean up the back a tiny bit. Lastly, she took his cape off and asked if he liked my hair dryer. He was a bit hesitant, but she said she could blow all of the extra hair off of him so he wouldn’t be itchy, and again, he agreed. He laughed the entire time, with his tongue hanging out. I wonder how much hair he ate today. Either way, it was incredibly successful!! Carlinna had never gotten him to cooperate so well, and we were all pleasantly surprised by how well he did. Win for Dekker!!

Another win for all of the kids was at Dr. Mikes office. We took Rowan in for a follow up after his pretty crazy necessary treatment last week, and everyone did so well! I was just going to bring Rowan in myself, but Dekker had to pee, so we decided to just bring everyone. The kids really like Dr. Mike anyway, so its fun to all go sometimes. Dr. Mike came in pretty quick, and Dekker was full of stories right off the bat. Laela was climbing the chairs like a jungle gym, happily squealing away, not nervous at all. Dekker showed him his toy from his Wendys lunch and everything. All of that being said, Rowan loved his treatment again! He giggled through it, and Dr Mike was SO good to him. And thankfully, Ro is feeling so much better! We’ve seen a significant improvement since his first treatment already, but there was definitely less work to do. At this point now, we just watch, but I’m sure he’ll be more than fine from here on out.

The last sweet story I’ll share with you is from Superstore. The two big kids were in the cart seats, and I had Rowan in his umbrella stroller. While we waited in line, Brady was in front of the cart, and I was hanging out with the three kids. Rowan began reaching out and playing with Dekker and Laela’s shoes, as their feet were hanging right in front of his face. Both of the big kids became enthralled with this, and if Brady pulled them ahead a little bit, they would call me to bring Rowan closer, even if I was less than three seconds behind them. Efficiency at its finest 😉 Anyway, Dekker and Laela were both leaned forward resting their heads on the cart handle, staring at Rowan. Out of nowhere, Laela reached over Dekker and rubbed his back. No one looked up, but I heard Dekker say quietly, “I like that.” My gosh, I melted.

These kids, though. I LOVE these kids. How in the world was I blessed with SUCH amazing kids??!

Its been a strange inbetweener day around here. Rowan had Brady and I up at 5:00am, and he stayed up. Not our easiest start to the day, but we’re working on it. I so hope he’ll start sleeping through the night soon! It’ll come eventually, I know 🙂 But its been a backwards day. Because of the very early start, I’m not feeling 100% at all. Brady probably isn’t either. Yet somehow, the kids are in better moods than they have been the last few days! Its been much easier to deal with being quite this tired when the big kids specifically are in pleasant moods and playing well together. I love when they talk to each other without any prompting or encouragement from us. Just greeting each other, offering toys, helping out, etc. They’re truly fabulous.

Tomorrow has to go off with a bang, though! The whole fam is going into the city for a few things. We need to do a bit of grocery shopping, and while I haven’t planned ahead at all, I’m hoping to add in a few things that we are behind on. Dekker and Rowan both need shots, Dekker needs a haircut, Rowan has to go back to chiro, and I neeeeed to make a concrete plan for Laela’s birthday party! So much to do, and I’m pretty sure we need to do a bunch of it tomorrow. Oy!

Please, Ro, let us sleep in past 5:00 tomorrow!!

I’m sure I’m not the only one remembering the things I am thankful for today. Some people roll their eyes at Thanksgiving because we should always be thankful, and I agree with that. I assure you that I focus on things that I am grateful for most days of my life. I have been truly blessed by many wonderful people and with many amazing things. I have waaay more to be thankful for than I can think of in one sitting. Lots and lots.

I’ll be the first to admit that this year has been difficult on me, though. Sometimes I feel like this whole situation with the house not selling and not selling and not selling is just crushing my insides. I always try to go back to the fact that we really live in a beautiful home! I have a solid house that is more than enough room to fit my family, where we feel safe and familiar and comfortable. Its the only house our kids know as their own. It is a wonderful place. I pep talk myself about this. Every. Single. Day. And it get wearing, if we’re being honest.

As a Christian, I am confident that my life is in Gods hands, and that He knows the plans he has for me. Plans for good, not for disaster, to give me a future and a hope. This, I believe. But this year in particular, I have struggled to find comfort in that truth. I know He knows, but I want to know! However, the last few days, I’ve felt something new on the subject. I still don’t feel very much comfort, if any, knowing that God has our house, as well as our hypothetical next house, in His hands. But what I do feel is thankfulness that its not in my hands. There is very clearly a plan I know nothing about, and there is a reason that we are still here. If it were up to me, we would have been out of here a few years ago. But who knows how that would have turned out. I don’t know the plans God has, and that still drives me bananas. But I am genuinely grateful that it isn’t up to me. I feel burdened still, but I know my load to carry is much lighter than it could be. I hesitate to say I feel peace (?) but I think I feel some, at least.

So. I am THANKFUL that my life is in Gods hands. I am THANKFUL for the roof above my head and the walls that protect us from the wind. I am THANKFUL for my amazing husband and our children than make my heart laugh daily. I am THANKFUL that I don’t feel any bitterness or anger towards my Father in Heaven, and that His big hands have enough room in them to carry all of us, even in our unbelief.

I can’t guarantee I will feel this way every day for the duration of our stay in this home, because I am human, and sometimes I break. I don’t like to pretend I feel one way when I feel the opposite. But today, I am not unbelieving. Today, I am hopeful and thankful and in love.

Happy Thanksgiving.

After a fairly rocky start to the day (I’ll spare you and my future self the details) we got our kids all cleaned up and dressed for Thanksgiving dinner.

Yes, in case you were wondering, they are the cutest kids in the world.

We were recently invited by Kim and her husband to join them for a Thanksgiving feast. It was a truly lovely invite, as my parents are out of town, and we usually celebrate this holiday together. Instead of us just doing our own thing, and likely not making a bird and the whole shebang, they invited us over. They cooked and cleaned and prepared for us all day.

We picked up some buns and drinks and made our way over in the late afternoon. We spread out a bit, and I hung out with Kim in the kitchen. When we got everyone seated at the table, there was turkey, mashed potatoes, buns, peas, stuffing, broccoli salad, and jello salad. It was a huge meal, and it was completely delicious. The four of us adults sat at the dining table with all the food (boo yea) and the kids sat at a little Ikea table just beside us. The last time we shared a supper with their family at their place, Dekker freaked about not sitting with Brady and I, but he did SO much better this time! He still fussed a bit about having to sit and eat, but he didn’t hesitate once to share the table with Laela, Emmerson, and Maddox. Rowan slept through most of supper, and Ellijah hung out at the big table in his high chair.

We ate until we were all pretty overfilled, and then Brady and Aaron went downstairs with the kids while Kim and I tidied up the dishes a little bit and visited. Kim had made two pies on top of everything else, so we brought down the mens servings, which I’m pretty sure were shared with the kids, and we enjoyed ours quietly upstairs in the living room. Well, “quietly.” Maddox and Laela were soon upstairs with us, sniffing out some extra attention and new toys. They were cute.

Before we left, we attempted a quick photo shoot.

Its hard to photograph moving children…

But we had already long overstayed, so we headed out around 8:00pm. Now, we’re home and all of the kids are tucked in for the night. In all honesty, with the morning starting out quite as trying as it did, and with the kids not in the best of moods, I was nervous about how the evening would go. But it was a FABULOUS day, made that way by friends who we are truly thankful to God for.

Thank you, friends, for taking us in this evening. <3 We feel both blessed and loved. We love you guys.

Last night, Brady and I started season eleven of Greys Anatomy. I know, judge away. Its a great show. But for some reason, it sat really heavy with me, and it left me feeling uneasy and thinking too hard about things like the death of my children, or my whole family, or just generally awful things. I told Brady that, before bed, we needed to watch something more light hearted, otherwise I wouldn’t sleep. I know this. It has happened before.

So we cracked out some Brooklyn 99 reruns and I felt way better going into the night. But I proceeded to have this crazy dream that was really stressful in the moment but quite comical in the morning.

In my dream, I was out shopping (?) with Jerilee and Kim. I’m not sure if we were actually shopping, but we appeared to be in some kind of shopping centre, just with no recognizable stores. While we were shopping, a brawl seemed to break out. But it was all over the building. People were screaming like the place was being shot up. It wasn’t, I don’t think. The three of us were nervous, but not like running for our lives, necessarily. It was confusing. Anyway, we were on the hunt for a place to hide out until the drama was over, when we spotted a door sort of off to the side of everything. We opened it up, and it was just a teeny tiny dark room under the stairs. So we snuck in there and decided to wait out the crazy together.

Naturally, once we were all situated in there, we pulled out our phones. It was then that we discovered an ATM in our tiny little room. Without a moment of hesitation, one of us (I forget who) suggested that we pull out some money for coffee. There was a Starbucks one level up, in the lobby (?), and we could get through really quick with cash. So we took turns and pulled out some cash for Starbucks, all the while people running past the tiny window in the door, screaming. Chaos.

Once we all had our cash tucked away in our bags, we ventured back out and clipped along with the crowd trying to flee the building. Once we were on the correct floor, we detoured over to Starbucks and ordered our drinks. The dedicated baristas set to work making our drinks, but the hooligans that were causing all the ruckus came to our coffee shop and demanded to get in the back. We stood directly in their way, telling them NO WAY, not until our coffees were done. The dickheads physically pushed us to the ground, where we all began blubbering and crying and fled the mall with all of the other sane people.

All of that, and we didn’t even get our coffees.

But of course we had tried. I have no doubt in my mind that any one of us would have stopped for coffee in real life.

Sooo note to self: no more Greys before bed. Also, maybe no shopping with both Kim and Jerilee at the same time. It seems to attract trouble…

I’m thoroughly enjoying having Brady home this week <3 Yes, obviously it is LOVELY having him around to help with the kids and the house, but we’re also just having fun spending more time together than usual! We’re watching movies, making plans, and talking LOTS. Its been super refreshing and I’ve truly loved it. Granted, again, I could be feeling refreshed because he’s been letting me sleep in the last few days, but also, its just nice to be together in the day.

Today was our one day this weekend with nothing planned. Therefore, the highlight of my day was this afternoon. Brady and I played Dance Dance Revolution on the wii, and it was SO FUN! We both worked up really good sweats and laughed our way through a good handful of songs. We collapsed at the end, despite the kids calling to continue dancing. Maybe tomorrow, because honestly, it was a ton of fun, and a surprisingly good workout! Perhaps it could become a daily routine 🙂

Since then, though, it seems as though the children are just about ready to explode at any moment without warning. Its not been the smoothest evening, so they may have to hit the hay earlier than their already early bedtime. Sometimes thats just the case around here. He can try for all we’re worth to please them and keep them up until their bedtime, but as soon as they’re tucked in, even if they’re awake, they’re calm and relaxed. Thats just going to be their reality today.

And because of the spontaneously combustable kids, our plan for after they go to bed will be supper and winding down, because we are not quite able to do those things just yet. But this little blog break has been nice 🙂 Thanks for giving me an excuse to disappear for a minute or two! And thanks, Brady, for entertaining the kids again. I love you much.

Our family went to my parents for supper this evening, but we arrived in the late afternoon and stayed until around 7:00. We usually leave a bit earlier, just to keep going with the kids bedtime and such, but today was a special day. Today, my grandma was out visiting 🙂

As I’m sure you can guess, my kids are fairly shy. But my grandma has a FABULOUS radar for them. She speaks to them lovingly, and is never offended or hurt if they don’t respond. She gives them space, while making sure they know how much she loves them. Dekker was pretty quiet around her most of our visit, but Laela’s shyness turned to peeking at her from behind chairs. It soon became sitting on my lap, right next to great grandma, and then onto greetings and little words and showing off her tricks. Grandma would always ask before making a move, and the kids appreciated that very much. They were never startled by her, which is a huge quality that not all people understand. So many of us get right in kids faces, with the best of intentions, but not all kids respond well to that. My kids do not, and my grandma was so sensitive to it.

We ate pizza for supper and ice cream for dessert, and the kids ate really well. I can’t blame them. It was homemade pizza!!! We all had a really nice visit and ate an absurd amount. At least I did. I’m still full. We couldn’t stay too long after supper, though. After yet another stupid water debacle out here, we needed to grab one more dispenser jug, plus a few other things. Spider spray, another pack or two of flushable wipes, sour cream, etc. But before we could go, we suited everyone up and said our goodbyes. The kids all maintained that they were too shy of great grandma, but I picked Laela up and asked “Can great grandma have a kiss?” Laela replied “ya,” so I held her up to my grandma and they both went right in!! I was so thrilled! Dekker still wouldn’t have it, but again, my grandma totally understood and didn’t make me feel bad or like my kids were rude. Quite the contrary. She was full of encouragement and praise for how fabulous our kids were. Its so humbling to hear that from someone like my grandma. I’m feeling very blessed and loved today.

After a quick trip in to the city, we made it home and tucked everyone in. Dekker was pretty grouchy going down but Laela and Rowan were both happy as clams. Laela was so comfy, all tucked in, and Rowan ate like a champ before getting all wrapped up and having a giggle fest all by himself, lol, without any help from us!! I hope Dekker feels better in the morning 🙂 I missed him this evening.

Tomorrow we have a quiet home day planned, and I am SO looking forward to the lack of plan/responsibility. It’ll be nice to just spend time without any deadlines.

And WITH running water!

This morning, I knew exactly what I wanted to blog about. My Facebook brought up my posts from this day last year, and today was the day I took Brady on a surprise trip to Las Vegas 🙂 So much fun was being had at this time last year!! Laela was a week or two away from walking on her own, which was also pretty significant for us. Good times, definitely.

But as this evening has come on, I have something entirely different to write about. Rowan. Rowan and his ridiculous feedings.

Rowan was an ok eater at the beginning of his life. He never cared too much to cuddle and fall asleep drinking his milk. It wasn’t a comfort thing for him, really. It was eating to keep himself alive and his tummy comfy, but that was it, as far as we could tell. In the last few months, though, he has become a total disaster to feed. Loving friends and family have tried, but getting more than four ounces into him at once was a big challenge. People would pass him back after less than two ounces and insist that he was full. But we knew him, and knew how much he COULD eat. In the middle of the night, when he’s sleeping through his bottles, he will eat eight to ten ounces. It is SO frustrating. If he would eat those big feedings in the day, he’d likely be sleeping through the night without a problem. So needless to say, we’ve been struggling.

Only within the last couple of days have I started to get an itch that maybe I need to be concerned. Some babies have reflux, and throw up a ton. But did you know there is a thing called “silent reflux,” where they feel all the same things – the acid, the burning, the sick tummy – but they don’t throw up? It can sit unnoticed for a while, but babies that are born with it are usually diagnosed with it within the first two months. I added up a lot of the symptoms I was seeing in Rowan, and it seemed pretty possible. He was very hungry, but upon laying him back and putting the bottle in his mouth, he would scream and wail and fight to the death NOT to drink his bottle. If we could get him to drink, it was around four ounces before he would have a total throw down that he couldn’t come down from. Would. Not. Do. It. That paired with lots of other little symptoms made me really worried. I lost some sleep over it last night, anticipating todays appointment with Dr. Mike. I hoped to God that he would tell me I was barking up the wrong tree and send me on my way.

*** Side note: Just because I’m confident some people are thinking it, we have no changed bottles or formula ever along the way. He doesn’t hate his bottle or his milk. Trust me, I know.

When we got into Dr. Mikes office, he started with Rowan. Brady and I were there for treatments as well, thanks to the laundry machine debacle, but Rowan was new, so he started there. He asked lots of questions and didn’t downplay my worries. He did encourage me, though, not to go to the weirder ideas before we’ve ruled out all of the common ones. He had a nice way of making me feel heard but comfortable.

He immediately went to Rowans face and played with him a little bit. Rowan has juuust started to occasionally make strange, but he loved Dr. Mike! It did my heard good to see him laugh through his entire treatment. We’ve taken all of our kids to Dr. Mike at one point or another, and he is SO gentle. He has always been able to sort of gently squeeze/massage parts of their backs to help them back into place, but my goodness, Rowan CRACKED. Not in a bad way AT ALL, but in a very significant way. Rowan thought it was hilarious, and laughed. Dr. Mike was happy too 🙂 He handed him back to us.

I was relieved and saddened when he told us Rowans back is basically a mess. In between his shoulder blades was rock hard, he said, and he was incredibly twisted one way. He said its not new, so he’s likely been in some form of pain or discomfort for a few months now. I felt guilty that I didn’t think to take him in sooner, but I know I can’t waste a ton of time being sorry. We can just move on and get him all fixed up.

When he was handed back to me, he was SO floppy! His body is so loose! He’s not turned or stiff or anything! I’m actually a bit shocked. What I thought was him having epic muscle tone was actually a knotted back. Apparently he doesn’t have much muscle tone at all, haha! At least not from what I can tell right now.

Since bringing Rowan home, I fed him a nice big bottle. He didn’t finish it quite, but he didn’t fight it. At the end, when he spat it out, I tried to offer it back, just in case, like always. Usually that throws him into an epic meltdown and he screams and knocks the bottle out of my hand and everyone gets covered in milk and its just really frustrating for all involved. But tonight, he just looked at me, smiled, and pushed it back out of his mouth with his little tongue. No fight, no crying. Just no more milk. SO MUCH BETTER. So not that it needs to be said, but he will be seeing Dr. Mike again very soon, and we will be changing a few little things that are maybe encouraging him to be a little one-sided, so to speak. I hope and pray that he continues to get better. I sure wish I had thought of Dr. Mike treating Rowan sooner, but I’m very glad we thought of it now.

Brady has a bit of time off this month, so it was REALLY nice to have him home for a chunk of the day. Kim and her boys came over, and we all spent a bit of time together. Brady did a few things to finish up, so he got the washer drain attached and ran a cleaning cycle. He then pulled the drum out of the old dryer, and loaded the old machines into his van. He took a drive to the city to dump them off and bring his tools home, while picking up a few groceries and a round of coffees as well. He came home with drinks and spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out with Kim and I and the six kids. I always really like that 🙂 So rarely does Brady get to be home in the day, so he doesn’t see our friends as much as I do. I like it when he can finally socialize in the day. And her boys love him. Ok, they really love his hair…

After a really lovely visit (as always) with Kim and her family, they headed home for the evening. We haven’t accomplished too much since. I wiped out the dryer and the outsides of both machines so they are READY to be used tomorrow!! At least in the morning/afternoon. Brady and I are both aching, and I’m thinking Rowan actually needs to see a chiropractor, so off to Dr. Mike we go!! But first, laundry, eating, naps, and THEN an evening appointment. I hope he can fix all of us!

I’m anticipating this week, having Brady home and doing a few things as a family 🙂 I like our family. Good thing, lol!

We picked up some new (to us) laundry machines on Friday, and they’ve been hanging out in Bradys van since then. We reached out in town for someone to help us get the old ones out and the new ones in, but no one could help. So today, we figured we’d do them ourselves. It wasn’t the smartest move, really. I pushed it WAY too hard, and am now dizzy and sore and really, really feeling it. Moving four machines up and down a narrow flight of 14 stairs is a huge job. It helps that the machines look good! They need a good clean up, but I’m not too worried about that at all. Happy to do it. Not today, because I hurt too much, but maybe tomorrow evening when my body has loosened back up.

All of that aside, I want to put something out there that I’m excited about! My dear friend, Jerilee, sells Mary Kay, and is about to have an exciting month!! ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of her sales will be donated to the Saskatoon cancer clinic!!! This is her sales only, keep in mind 😀 If you’d like any more info, or to show your support for the cause she is fighting for, her website is http://www.marykay.ca/jerileewright.

Thats all for me for today. I’m bushed and achy. I hear muscle tone is a thing…..