The Daily Hailey

We all know foster care is not gentle. Its hard and sad and filled with desperation. I feel like the majority of the time, when people hear that we are a foster family, they say something about the system being broken. They’re not wrong, it absolutely is, but the kids are frightfully innocent in it. THEY are not broken.

As “broken” as everything is (and believe me, the break doesn’t start in the foster care system) I can honestly say I LOVE fostering. Sure, the red tape is annoying. There is a lot of waiting. A lot of unknowns. A lot of injustice. But I would not trade my job for just about anything. I LOVE it. Today, it was SO FUN.

I’m sorry to say I have to be a little cagey about the details in this next story, but bear with me.

I had an idea a while back. One of those “Oh man I could never get away with that” ideas. Something fun I only dreamed of doing with one of the kids in my care. It was a total extra. Unimportant. Maybe even a tad controversial. But FUN, and something I would totally consider if this kid was indeed mine by birth. But, since they are not, I wrote it off.

But it stayed in the back of my mind. So one day, while I took this kid for a visit, I said to their mom (who I have a really warm relationship with, actually) how much I wish I could do something like that. I said it totally playfully, and said “DON’T worry, I would NEVER do such a thing with your kid!” And she lit up, appeared to consider my suggestion, and told me to go for it!!! She and I both went to the worker separately, and I got official permission to go forward with my plan!!

I held off for a little bit, though, because I actually had two kids I wanted to do this with. The other one, however, sees less of their parents, and I don’t have the same rapport built with them. I couldn’t shake it, though, that this could be a really fun milestone that these two kids could experience together. It felt siblingy, and I wanted that! So, at my next meeting with the second kids worker, I mentioned it to her. I said I knew it was silly and unimportant, but since I got consent for one kid, I wondered if it was feasible. She thought about it for a second and then grabbed her phone to text one of the parents. And within half an hour, she texted me back and said it was all a go!!! I confirmed with friends of mine who are well connected to the other parent, and they wholeheartedly supported this, knowing their friend would be happily on board.

So today, we hit that milestone. Me and the two of them. And auntie, who came and helped 💜 I WANT to share about it, so PLEASE if you have interest, message me so I can tell you and show you! It was SO fun and exciting. The kids clapped for each other and celebrated.

There is a griefy side to this. Their parents weren’t there. Its a special thing. At their age, they would only do this with their parent. And in this case, it was me instead 💜 Their caregiver. Which is an honour, by the way. But a sacrifice, in a way. Its not lost on me.

What a precious day today was. I’m so grateful to have these beautiful children in my care, supportive helping hands, a familiar face doing the dirty work, and parents who are willing to let me have a hand in their childrens special firsts.