I used to ache through Mothers Day for the women I knew and loved who weren’t mothers who really, really wanted to be. It felt almost like a survivors guilt, where I got through losses and struggles and the waiting and wondering, and others were still there. I came out of the realm of desiring to have children with children. Many do! And many don’t. And that stinks. I’ve worked to write about it appropriately each year, where I try to hit the mark for everyone absolutely in and around the motherhood arena, wanting to validate the feelings of every woman even remotely attached to the subject.
And now, I attach to, care for, and live with children whose mother doesn’t get to see them on Mothers Day. She doesn’t get to spend the day with them, or cook for them, or wake up to them, or bathe them, or teach them right from wrong, or any of those age old things that kids do and need every single day. At least she doesn’t get to do those things right now. And trust me. I know. There is some choice involved in that, and I’m not going into that, because its really messy and crappy and HARD and no two situations are the same.
When I say that it is a privilege to have these children in our home, I really, really mean it. They are incredibly precious, innocent people who need so much love, and have SO much love!!
Spoons is the best helper we have in the house! They will put garbage in the garbage, diapers in the hallway, and bottles in the sink. Shoes will always be brought to their rightful owner. Someone crying always needs a blanket, a sippy cup, or a back rub. So many of these things are never even asked for, but they Spoons is eager to participate in their family!
LD is an absolute card, and lives to smile! If someone walks in the door and makes an excited face, LD is right behind them, basically drowning in smiles and gasps, down for whatever everyone else is pumped about. LD learned really young how to be silly and joke around, and has become an absolute beacon of light in the family!
Peanut offers big smiles, with cheeks filled with dimples. The coos come easy and high in number. Cries are easily resolved with milk, or just a buddy sitting nearby. It was clear so early in the game that Peanut just likes company. As in, family alone brings comfort.
These three precious lives fill our home with SO MUCH JOY, and there is a very real part of my heart that positively aches for their moms. Because circumstance aside, they made these little people! Environment is important, of course, but genetics are factors also. Many of these beautiful qualities are from their parents! From their mama 💜 And for one reason or another, they don’t get to be together right now. And that is HARD to swallow.
I can’t sum it all up very eloquently. Foster care is not eloquent. Its brutal and messy and super hard to wrap my brain and heart around. Mothers Day feels different though, I can tell you that much. I love these three babies so terribly much. And so do their moms.