The Daily Hailey

I know I’ve written about this before in a way. When I reorganize all of Brady’s med supplies, it really shines a light on where we’ve been and what we’ve experienced/overcome in the last while. I’m in a similar boat today as I dig through what we have coined as the product closet.

The product closet holds basic meds, first aid stuff, soap, toiletries, etc. And it. Is. A MESS. I did such a good job setting it up way back, but you’d better believe it is SO much easier to pull something out and shove it back into any corner they can find rather than putting it back in the container/box meant to hold it.

Aaaaanyway. I decided to tackle that today.

Spoiler alert. It will NOT be done before the kids come home from school 😅 Not even sort of. I had a sickie come home earlier this afternoon and that beautiful face keeps sneaking back over to where I’m working, even though they need to be on the couch. Which seems to mean that I, too, need to be in the living room. I digress. Its a cute problem to have.

What I can tell you from the hours I’ve put into it already is this. It was an emotional ride to look through everything. Lots has changed.

Brady had the strongest, grossest mouthwash and toothpaste known to man. Now, his mouth hurts so bad, we had to get really creative to find him a way to clean his mouth without the pain.

I had saved the tiny handful of medical gauze pads like they were gold. Now, I probably have hundreds of them. I chucked the handful today without even thinking.

Old hair care products that I used to use to maintain the beautiful color of my fresh hair. Now its been so long, I’m scared to use them.

The hardest hit was finding old medications and supplements for fertility. I threw away a few boxes of progesterone, and some fertility supplements we had for Brady at one point. That part felt like a gut punch. Or a uterine punch, rather.

Like I said yesterday, it always feels like a preparey time of year right around now, and there is grief with that. So I’m trying to allow myself to feel it as I do the things. As I throw away old things, unbox new things, and organize a space that works best for us now.

Where the kids can reach fresh toothpaste and bandaids without having to open or close anything behind them.

Where Brady can reach his items independently.

Where everything else is SO clearly labelled so my brain doesn’t have to work extra hard.

Its good to be busy. Idle is hard. Especially at this time of year. But rest is also important. Sickness is also part of the scene, unfortunately. So the days are full, but they’re ok, and we’re making it 💜

I have a long list of things that need doing. I can’t quite explain it, but I think there is something that happens to me in February/March that feels VERY preparey. Its been this way for a few years now, and I think it stems from some of the medical trauma we’ve gone through. February 2021 was Bradys initial surgery, so that feels like a heavy anniversary. His seizure was late January 2024 and subsequent brain surgery was in March. Early March 2025 was when we discovered the tumours had regrown in Brady’s spine. It just kind of goes on and on. Its a very triggering time of year for me. But life still continues to move forward, as will we!! But we will whilst doing some weird panicky work around the house, just to help scratch the itch of preparing for nothing in particular. Its confusing, I know.

Anyway, I made a list, and we took a few things off of it this weekend, despite all the sickness. One thing was our nightmare of a bookshelf. Its a huge piece in our living room and is a total and complete mess, absolutely always. So yesterday during naps, a couple of us emptied the whole sucker out and sorted through every. Single. Book.

This is only a small chunk of the books 🤣

The result was SO worth it. We purged like crazy and it feels SO much better!!!

To have gone through and even taken full series away that just no one reads or is interested in. Books that are too taped up. Books that are duplicates. Anytime a kid said “Ooo I like that one!” we kept it, but anytime they had any “meh” at all, it was gone. And we organized and made sense of which series went where, which age levels went where, etc. It may very well all get mixed up again soon, but the refresh felt SO good!!!

We also gutted the fridges of old leftovers yesterday, and temporarily repaired our very broken piano bench.

Thats three things off the list! More to come!!

*snort laugh* Irony.

Welp. It was not a smooth wakeup over here.

Laela woke me up to tell me that Rowan was barfing. Thankfully, he was not barfing, but he was close to it. He felt very sick, and had picked his perch right in front of the toilet, on the bathroom floor. Rowan does not like to barf solo, but as his stomach ache started to lift he relinquished me back to my bed, promising to bellow for me if the time came. Perfect.

I went from there to pour coffee for Brady and I. We try to coffee date in bed most mornings before the day truly begins. While out in the kitchen, I got the update that Solly felt sick. He stayed home sick from school on Friday, felt better Saturday, but felt worse again today.

So when it came time for morning meeting, we decided to split up a bit. Dekker, Laela, and Wavy went to church. The rest of us stayed home.

Which was RIGHT because the birthday babe themself was sick 👏 as 👏 a 👏 dog! 😩🤮 Goodness, that poor little love was SUCH a mess!!! It made for a pretty calm morning of quiet play, with some bouts of sickness and many jammie changes interspersed.

Some lunched, and others didn’t, but then it was nap time. Naps were an easy sell today. Meanwhile, a few of us put a few hours into some work around the house, which felt really good!

More barf upon waking up, c/o our dear birthday baby 💔 Poor monkey. More jammies. As I type this, we’re on our fourth pair. *sigh*

Broth, crackers, and apples for supper! PLEASE Lord, let this not be the beginning of a second round!!

We celebrated a birthday today. An incredibly precious birthday. The birthday of one who feels like our blood, through and through. It has been an absolute riot, and it completely pains me to not be able to share more about it. I would HAPPILY share pictures with those who want to know, but as always, it has to be private and not on the blog :/ Always a disappointment for me.

We ate yummy food. Played well. There was a productive nap. More yummy food. Gifts a couple of different times. The day ended on a sugar rush, but thankfully, it was short lived, and the crash wasn’t bad. Somehow, the baby room is already so quiet. Everyone is wiped, but happy.

And here I am, heavy hearted. I KNOW we have to live in the present. I am so aware that what-ifs do absolutely no good. But the future is so unknown, and I cannot imagine not having this dear one with us for every birthday in their childhood and beyond. I must slow my heart and brain down and just enjoy. I promise, I know this.

But man. If you guys could know this tiny person I know. You would understand completely.

Happy birthday, dear one 💜 I love you so much, I could cry. I love you.

I just have to put these into a blog so they don’t get lost, because this girl is SO stinking hilarious!

We had morning meeting at breakfast, like always. I let the kids know the day was starting out colder than yesterday, so don’t be too lazy with toques and mitts. Ok? Ok, mom. Standard non-listening practice. Everyone took off to get ready for the day. And this monkey comes up dressed like this 🤣

I was completely bewildered. I called her out by simply saying “Shorts?” And she looked at me like I was nuts, followed with her reply – “I’ll have ski pants!” Nope. But good try. 😂 That girl and her outfits. I have no doubt her teachers get a kick out of them as much as I do.

Then there was this. After school, I was frosting a cake for a birthday tomorrow, and Wave came to help me put some of the ingredients away. She tucked the food coloring and vanilla into their spot, and then, confused, asked me where to put the hand sanitizer. Guys.

Like. How innocent can you be?? Its almond extract. She giggled at herself and put it away with the vanilla, and skipped off to who knows where. But it kept me laughing. I love her.

Thanks for the fun today, Wavy 💜 I love you!

Dekker has anticipated his school ski trip for a long while, and he finally got to go this week. Wednesday was the day. He was gone early, back in the evening, and there was a very short window of time between getting home and going to youth 😅 In that time, however, he sat down and said he couldn’t wait to kayak.

Because his winter thing was over. So now he is ready to anticipate the next season. And I kind of get it.

I started listing today. Projects. Some big and others not as big. Not specifically geared towards spring, either, haha! But it feels like its time to get some bigger things done for. I don’t know. Preparation? Beats me, but I do get what he’s feeling.

Some things are like, tomorrow things. Make the dessert for the upcoming birthday. Scrape the ramp. Things like that.

But others are rebooting bigger areas of the home. Cleaning up things that have sat for too long. Trying to get our new en suite stocked up with our things. All that good stuff.

And then stuff that definitely needs doing but can wait. The bookshelf is a mess. Hanging up pictures that are sitting and waiting to be hung in multiple rooms. Putting away yarn from abandoned projects.

Anyway. The list feels long, but also important and doable. Not quickly 🤣 but eventually. There may be a call out for a dump run in our near future. SO much stuff we finally just have to ditch!!

Wish me luck!!

🎶 My spirit is willing, but my flesh is so weak 🎵

A couple of adorable people moments at the breakfast table.

I talked to them kids about hot lunch. This Friday at school is hot dog day. I mentioned that I had heard it was coming, but I had no forms, and they were in fact due first thing this morning. Rowan and Wavy went running while Solly dug into his hoodie pockets in search of his. He pulled out a folded up paper with confidence, but as he opened it, he casually said “Oh, thats not my hot dog form, its just my watermelon shark.” Guys. He wasn’t kidding.

I thought that was so adorable, lol! Solly is so innocent and sweet. And frankly, I think his watermelon shark is bomb. Thanks, Art Hub, for teaching my kids to draw the coolest things!

And then there’s Laela who had a babysitting gig last night that went a bit later than anticipated. She was totally stoked and HAPPY to stay. She came home nice and late, waving some bills around proudly, just beaming!! And this morning, she was wiped!!! 😅 She started to stretch, and then twitched and crumpled back up. She said “Owwwww, I slept too good and now I’m all hurty!”

I thought it was super cute of her.

Both of them.

ALL of them.

💜

Guys. It was just a really beautiful day in so many ways. We are so grateful.

I spent the morning and a chunk of the afternoon with Cher, my best friend, who I have barely seen in more than a week.

I had a surprise visit from a friend from camp. The kids were SO ripped to have missed his pop in.

We spent a good hour after bedtime with our pastor and his wife, who came by our home solely to listen to us and love us. It was amazing. A total honour.

I am very grateful for our day. For the lovely people around us. For the gifts of care, concern, and corn dogs we are given 😅 Not kidding. Seriously, though, the blessings we experience are immeasurable.

And for that – for today – we praise the Lord.

This boy. Our dear Rowan. Turns eleven today. This year of Rowan has been totally incredible.

He is really, truly figuring himself out. He has way more good days than bad. It doesn’t mean all days are easy by any means, but he will put in new efforts because he can see the fruits of his labour, and he prefers that result to the alternative. Along with that, he has been able to have closer, happier, healthier relationships with his siblings, which is SO amazing to finally witness! He loves to wrestle with Dekker, and he and Solly could talk all day about things like Lego, Minecraft, etc. Rowan and Laela have always clicked easier, and they continue to. And now, just in the last few weeks, Rowan is developing a soft spot for her. She loves everyone without holding back, including him, and has immediately melted into his love for her.

It is SO nice to see him let down a bit, and then slowly watch his siblings follow suit. Easily the best part of this last year over all.

We celebrated his birthday all weekend, which really turned out perfectly considering we had a sick day in there, and important church stuff in there, too. This way, he got his meals, he got to watch a movie he was excited about, and he got presents on both days. Check out what auntie gave him! 😳😍

I think it will be REALLY precious to him over the years. Right now, its super cool, but as he ages, I hope he can treasure the time and care that went into this, to celebrate how beautiful he is.

This boy is a very important part of our family. He is deeply loved and treasured. As disjointed as this weekend ended up being, it was clear he felt special and celebrated.

Goodness, Rowan, how we love you. I see EVERY side of our family in your beautiful face, and I am positively loving watching you grow up! I love you and love you and love you again.

Happy eleventh birthday, Rowan!! 🥳

Yesterday, I was trying to sort out in my head how we were going to organize this morning.

Many of us were feeling really sick yesterday.

Dekker was needed at church because there was a fundraiser going on behalf of a missions trip in which he is participating.

I had to get a big pot of soup to church.

I knew if I was sick, or any of the babies were sick, I’d have to hang back.

Brady couldn’t go without me because his minivan was at the mechanic and he can’t get into the bus on his own.

He couldn’t stay home with just the babies.

Do I send the soup with someone else, maybe??

Man alive the list just went on!!!

But this morning, I woke up feeling totally fine. Brady was super exhausted (because chemo) but didn’t feel sick. NONE of the kids felt sick. It was incredible! So we could ALL go to church!!!

When we arrived, I got Brady his wheelchair and then ran Munchie Mix in first, since they’re still in a baby bucket. As Munchie is the most content baby of ALL babies, I left the bucket under the coat rack and ran back out to get the pot of soup. By the time I brought the soup in, someone had snagged baby from the car seat for the service! Of course, they came and told me, but it was SO nice!!!

I drank coffee, snuggled with Solly, took communion, and listened to the first service of lent. It was so peaceful. Except when my baby alarm went off for one of the babies in the nursery, and instead of vibrating, it started beeping like crazy 🤣 That was new, and I didn’t like it, hahaha! But I lived, as did those around me.

The fundraiser was a soup lunch, for which I brought a big pot of my cheesy chicken noodle soup (which is actually more widely known as crack chicken, but I can’t make a drug joke at church 😂) I made a handful of rounds to our table, getting a few bowls of soup for a few different folks before finally sitting down for lunch. It thrilled my heart to watch my dear Spoons eating independently SO well. Taking big bites, wiping their own chin dribbles with a napkin, and drinking from a regular cup, not a sippy. Someone was SO proud of themself. It was super sweet to see my very grown up toddler at work 💜

I am so grateful we were able to go to church after all, and not have to miss the service, the baby sharing, or the participation and support for the fundraiser. Thank you, Lord, for healing our bodies enough that we could attend today 💜