There once was a baby, just six months old,
Who gave their poor mama a story retold.
Their tummy went merpy, their diaper stayed dry,
And mama said, “Oh dear, this just cannot fly”
To the hospital zoomed the poor little sprout,
For their tummy had tossed all the liquids right out.
They hooked them to tubes with a drip-drip-drip drip,
And Pedialyte slurps with a sippy-sip sip.
“No milk!” said the doctors. “Nothing for the tot!
Their tummy must rest, it is quite in a knot!”
So baby just screamed with a suspicious glare,
Like, “Excuse me there doc, do you think this is fair?”
But drip by drip and sip by sip,
The fluids returned with a sloshy-splash tip.
And everyone waited, the nurses, the crew,
For the magical moment of PEE NUMBER TWO!
“Oh please!” cried mama, exhausted and pale,
“I have seven more children, and soon need to bail!
Just pee little honey, just sprinkle or squirt!
A drizzle! A trickle! A tiny wet spurt!”
At last came the moment, the diaper went SQUISH!
Thank you to God who granted our wish!
“HOORAY!” nurses shouted, “The bladder has won!
Pack up the baby , the hospital’s done!”
Home went the baby, all plumped up and bright,
With formula bottles both day and all night.
It slurped and it burped and looked healthy with glee,
And mama thought, “Finally! Peace! We are free!”
But wait! Oh dear reader…. the story twists here.
A rumble of sickness began to appear.
One kid got the bug with a groan and a sigh,
Then another, and another…. and another! Oh MY!
Each child took turns with the tummy-flip flu,
A barfy parade and the sickly poo-poo!
Mama looked around, and didn’t know what to do…
The bug made its rounds with an epic debut.
Now mama is sick and exhausted to bits,
Surrounded by gassy blanket burrito fits.
Although baby drinks milk pretty easily,
Mama still whispers, “Please also… pee.”
For baby seems lively and silly and spry,
While mama keeps checking each diaper nearby.
They gulp all their bottles and only leave poo…
Which signals the start of hospital trip number two.
So mama just sighs with a sniffle and plea:
“You’ve already had your turn, so please just go pee.”
-Cher
