There is just so much going on over here. I feel like my posts have been boring, but its for a reason. We’re all just breathing, and we’re doing a lot of waiting and seeing. Change is absolutely always upon us, almost exclusively, and we’re doing all we can to handle it gracefully and in faith. We are completely different people than we were a year ago.
As we go forward in such a different way than we ever pictured, I have caught myself mixing up comfort with contentment. I think those things are pretty different, and I’m starting to learn that comfort is a very real gift, but it is not a right. Contentment, however, is a choice.
Pain is uncomfortable.
Sickness is uncomfortable.
Uncertainty is uncomfortable.
Anxiety is uncomfortable.
Making unpopular choices is uncomfortable.
Taking risks is uncomfortable.
Faith in God is even uncomfortable sometimes.
Yet…
We are held by the strongest, safest hands, and we continue to seek God’s face and follow where He leads us, even if it’s – say it with me – uncomfortable.
And with that – with God – we find contentment and peace.
I had two appointments scheduled for today. I had a leg wax booked, with my counselling booked directly after. I had the thought that Brady and Wavy could come in with me and run a couple of little errands while I was in, since counselling takes an hour. I realized a couple of days ago, however, that counselling only started at 3, which means I definitely couldn’t take them with me, because the kids need someone home when they get out of school. As I was putting two and two together, I realized that meant I had to go alone, which makes parking a lot more fussy and stressful, and I wasn’t looking forward to it.
But as things would turn out, my counsellor got in touch yesterday and told me she was feeling under the weather, and we’d need to reschedule. Which worked out just perfect because not only would I not have to figure out hospital parking in a vehicle that doesn’t fit in the lot (we’re too tall for the parkade) but it also meant my one appointment would be done by 2:30!
Because of that change, Brady had arranged with a loving friend of ours to pick up some really nice quality pallets around 1:00. So it all worked out that we went in together, picked up pallets, some quick McDicks, and then I went to my wax.
I have been getting my legs and arms waxed for years. A confident 15 years on my legs. Maybe ten years for my arms. Regardless, it goes SO quick now! I was in and out in 20 minutes. It was almost too short, haha! I miss my waxing girl!
All in all, we got back to town with enough time to hit the post office before there was any risk of the kids beating us home. But of course, the parcel I’ve been waiting for was there, and it was right over the 3:00 break! Cmon, Hailey. Timing!
It was a successful day 💜 I really do love my counselling appointments. They’re pretty life giving, honestly. Validating. But the way my schedule opened up today was just perfect. Pallet pickup was going to be tomorrow, and now that we did it today, tomorrow is a HOME day. A REST day! I’m so excited to be home and crochet, listen to music, and plan the weekend ahead a little bit. It definitely doesn’t hurt to get organized!
I am very happy with how today turned out. Thank you Lord for the rain and fresh tingly legs.
I know Mother’s Day was and is complicated for many. I saw someone on Insta post “Have a gentle Mother’s Day” and I thought that was really sweet and concise. I am not naive to the complicated aspects of that day. But, because I am fortunate enough to be a mother to my children, I did want to share a brief post about them all. A rundown, if you will. Is anyone also picturing Jim Halpert saying “What the hell is a rundown?” I wish I could find an appropriate gif. Anyway.
Behold – the children who made me a mother.
Dekker Thomas. The oldest.
Ten years of him so far.
Laela Hazel. The oldest girl.
We’ve had this one for eight years so far.
Rowan Toby. The middlest.
He’s one of the oldest in his class. Seven years with this one.
Solomon Brady. Our littlest guy. My husbands namesake.
This month, we’ll have had the pleasure of six years with him.
Shortly after Solomon was born, we started losing babies.
Theo.
He joined our family about five years ago.
Jamin.
He was born the following summer, so that was almost five years ago, too. A confident four and a half years, I suppose.
Waverly Violet. Our youngest here at home.
We have had almost four years with this little peach.
Very shortly after Wavy was born, I began losing many pregnancies.
Little Buddy. Our possible twins.
We never got to know for certain, obviously, but I like to believe my body tried to have twins. This was about two and a half years ago.
August.
We never got to the point of ultrasound for this baby, unfortunately. I found out right over my birthday that I was expecting, and was bleeding within the week. But I was very grateful to have the supportive doctor I had be closely in touch, limping me though my grief and back to physical health.
I am overwhelmed with gratefulness for the children I have had the pleasure to bring home. I have deep grief for those I’ve carried who never made it home. I still carry confusion and frustration in my heart for all the lightly positive pregnancy tests that were immediately followed by cycles. My desire to mother more children hasn’t gone. God knows my heart, and it is absolutely open wide for whatever comes next. Whether I have the opportunity to mother children again, whether biological or not, permanently or temporarily, or if I am never responsible for any other child ever again, I will pour into people for the rest of my life one way or another 💜
I know Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are complicated for some. For many. I am not offended if you pass this post on by. I understand and respect that there is pain. But I deeply appreciate the beautiful mom that I was given, and emulate much of my parenting from.
I am incredibly fortunate to have her example in my life, and the friendship we share. I know not everyone has such a smooth, loving thing with their mom, or even with a friend. We have a strong relationship that only gets better as time goes by. I am incredibly grateful for my mom.
I am also incredibly grateful for my honorary mom across the street, Rae. While she isn’t around at this very moment, I hope she knows she is loved and appreciated by our family. There is a strong bond there that I trust will always be there. I am honoured to be part of her family.
Its harder to get a picture of Rae! She’s always behind the camera when she’s with the kids!
The day has been spent listening to music, visiting, eating yummy food, and receiving some gifts and notes from the kids. I really couldn’t ask for more.
I’m grateful for my mom. I’m grateful for the beautiful maternal influence around me. I’m grateful for the children who made me a mom.
Garage sale day tends to be one of my favorite days of the year. I always look forward to it! I love the social aspect. I love the thrift shopping. I love spending the day walking around town. I love the fresh air, the chats, and the treasures we find. I really really love garage sale day!
I want to be honest, though. Garage sale day has become a bit of a sore spot for me in some ways. I still LOVE it, and I anticipate it so much leading up to the day. But its become more challenging as time has gone on. Our kids haven’t always enjoyed it. Brady really didn’t care for it for a while. It became like pulling teeth, where we would get a block or two in, and everyone would melt down and we’d haul them home. If I was motivated enough, I would take the van out so mosey the sales on my own, but it wasn’t the same. I don’t know. Garage sale day got more difficult.
Brady works HARD for garage sale day to be good for me. The kids are informed and clearly pep talked leading into the day, so they are on their best behaviour. He really really tries for me, and his efforts show. I am incredibly grateful for how much he puts in to help me have a great day!
We got about halfway across town and moseyed back home, hitting some sales. It didn’t feel like there was as much out this year. I think this weekend snuck up on a lot of people, ourselves included. Plus the weather was more chilly and overcast, rather than the sunny weather I always hope. I used to count on garage sale day for a sunburn, lol! But it was a little chilly and not especially busy. We did hit up the donuts, which has become a tradition for many of us here in town! Always a highlight.
I promise we love Dekker, too! He just got his donut first and demolished it in seconds 😂
As we walked home, Brady and I quietly made the plan that we would get some lunchy stuff together that the kids could eat in the van, and we would go drive the rest of the streets to see the sales. So we super clearly told the kids to head into the house for bathroom breaks, but then to wait a couple of minutes for the next thing because we had more plans.
It was at that point where a kid or two suddenly showed up in pajamas, and kind of dismissed the plan altogether. I can’t explain it, but I was SO frustrated. The kids had already been whining first thing in the morning, wanting an at-home jammie day rather than a day out and about. And then our directions had been ignored. I was pretty over it at that point, but pushed forward to continue with the plan. Aforementioned kid went and changed back into clothing, and we loaded up snacks and headed to the van.
The second half wasn’t especially productive, but it was a nice drive. The kids ate happily and listened to music, and everyone was peaceful.
Unfortunately, the last stretch of driving revealed some sadness. A door we have been keeping our eyes on had been closed. Nothing was ever in stone or even close to it, but the hope was ours, and now its over. So that was a tough gut punch right at the end of an already kind of disappointing day.
I sound really ungrateful, this I know. The day was a stretch, but everyone tried. The last bit of hard news was just really hard to swallow and I’ll admit, I feel pretty knocked down. Thank goodness I have faith in Christ, or there would be a whole other level of hopelessness. Instead, I just feel sad. Not defeated.
This low will not last forever. This is temporary.
Tomorrow will be SO much better 💜 Mother’s Day will be a great day!
So. Its not been the smoothest week. We have had some HARD days with the kids, where the hours between school and bedtime are incredibly trying and long. They have felt mostly like we just need to survive. Those days are hard for everyone involved. They’re hugely challenging for Brady and I as parents, but they’re also really hard on the kids. It feels bad to not do as well as we’d like. It feels bad to let people down. It feels bad period. Usually, however, we are fortunate enough that we all go to bed lovingly. We’re able to be soft with the kids, resolve all hard or hurt feelings, and send them to bed peacefully. But oof. I do not always feel so peaceful.
Rowan invited me to sit on him last night while we prayed together. Do you think he changed his tune after about ten seconds? 😆
Conveniently, Wavy and Solly do ok together on the days they’re both home 🙂
This morning, Brady and I spent a couple of hours playing music with Carrie. Our town has its local celebration weekend coming up, and we’ve been recruited to play music at the car show again! Now that NONE of us are sick *knocks on wood* we can really get back into it! We’re all really excited for the upcoming event, and it was fun to start preparing for it. And once we split for the day, I spent some time crocheting some towel hangers for the upcoming farmers market I’ve been invited to 🙂
Cute little braid stitch in there, hey? I like these a lot! The worst part of selling items is pricing them tho 🤢 Send help!
The day has been peaceful, and even now, its getting rainy and overcast, and I LOVE that! So I have high hopes for the remainder of the day 💜 I hope there is peace and contentment for the last few hours of the day, for you and me.
I got my hair redone in September, in time for family pictures and the start of the school season. Before covid, when everything was a little simpler, I got my hair done every three months or so. Things have not been that way, so here I am, eight months later, getting it redone.
First, a reference picture to how it was about a month or so ago.
My hair holds color really well already, but washing it in cold only helps with that! While the color still pops, you can see the mad amount of growth! It was LONG overdue!!
Today was the day to finally change things up! It was a bleachy, smelly, painty kind of morning!
But it was absolutely worth it! 💜
It is SO nice to have a fresh look for the season ahead! If we’re being real, I plan to wash my hair predominantly in the lake this summer, so the cold water will keep the color on for a nice long time. And let’s be even more real. I wash my hair pretty infrequently as it is. So while I hope its not eight months before I’m back at La Loop again, this should carry me for the next few months easily 🙂
Just gotta wax my legs and I’m good to head to the lake!
Its been a long stretch of illness, and things have really slowed down. But you’ve probably noticed, we’re back at it this week! Yesterday I spent the day out shopping with Cher, getting ready for the upcoming lake season! Clothes shopping for those who needed it. That was the priority.
I will admit, I was pretty discouraged when I came home and learned that none of the shorts I bought fit :/ Value Village has ditched their change rooms, so I bought shorts that were significantly bigger than last summers shorts, and still, upon trying them on at home, they didn’t even come close. I won’t lie – It has been HARD to have such a change in that area. I am happy to be healthier, and to have an appetite for maybe the first time ever in my life. Its crazy how different that is! But man. Shopping has some added challenges now. I am dressing a completely different body. So I don’t know my sizes anymore. I don’t like the fit of most of what I own. There is a lot of change.
I mourned my old self a bit yesterday, and had a pretty down moment when my shorts didn’t even come close to fitting. I told Cher, and she immediately reassured me that we’d go in to exchange them the very next morning.
So we did that today. I wore leggings in full preparation for trying shorts on overtop of them. No shame.
Thank goodness, I was able to find some nice stretchy, high waisted shorts to tuck in my less preferred parts of my body, and we even found a swim top and some tank tops to boot! I am thrilled and relieved to say I am completely ready for the season ahead. I have clothes that fit. So do the kids. I think a couple of them still need sandals but its hard to do that shop without their actual feet, so we’ll get there soon enough.
Now that some of that stuff is taken care of, I have energy for more things at home! I took a bit of a crocheting hiatus while we were out super sick, but I’m back at it now! Catching up on a few orders, while simultaneously trying to build an inventory for the farmers market I’m joining in just a few short weeks!
Tonight I have to attend a meeting to register Waverly for preschool. *barf* I cannot believe we’re there. Our youngest is going to be in school. I’m not ready. I never ever thought Wavy would be our youngest. Goodness. These last couple of years though 😓 They have been YUGE.
Tomorrow I have an all-day appointment in the city.
Friday Brady has an appointment and then an errand run.
And this weekend is garage sale day and mothers day!!
As the weather has lifted, the days have filled! But with many good things 🙂 Does anyone else feel like suddenly time is absolutely racing by?!
It was such a nice day today. Cher and I have been trying to get a shopping date on the books for a while, and it finally came to fruition today!
We began at Lawson Mall, where I picked up a birthday present for Solly’s upcoming day later this month. We stopped at Tim’s for java and a little bfast before we continued on.
Our favorite stop is always Value Village, and guys, I had a list today. Today was the day to fill in the kids wardrobes for the upcoming season. Dekker and Laela always need new, as they dont have the hand-me-downs that the others have. But then, Rowan and Solly wear mostly the same sizes, so they just need a bit more collectively. We recently dug into our old tubs and pulled out everything we could find for Wavy, but there were definite holes. She had almost no tank tops, and no shorts. So today was the day to fill in the holes.
It was a great success. I got a good stack of tank tops for Laela, some shorts for the boys, some shorts for myself as well, and a handful of other things. The ONLY thing I got that I probably could’ve left behind was a little ceramic bathtub that I plan to use as a soap dish. Lol!
Post-VV, we hit Walmart to see if we could fill in the rest of the clothes. Well, first we reported a guy who was driving like a maniac, almost hitting pedestrians, other cars, etc. HUGE shout out to the Preston Walmart security guy!! He was awesome! Back to shopping, lol! I am pretty desperate for swimwear, so I found something that will hopefully work well. I found some muscle shirts for the boys, and swim shorts. Dresses were bad there, and Laela has NO summer dresses. So we left Walmart without dresses, but it wasn’t our last stop.
Superstore was quick, resulting in just some basic tank tops for Waverly.
Lunch was an obvious highlight.
We shared deep fried pickles, battered fish, and poutine 💜 It was delicious, and our first meal where we sat down and actually enjoyed food in a restaurant together. I loved it!
We decided we hadn’t had enough thrifting yet, so we hit the south Value Village. We finally had success and found two dresses for Laela, plus a couple more little things. A tank top for me. A small birthday gift for Wavy. A mug, because I can’t not. It was great!
Second round at Walmart resulted in one more muscle shirt that had the wrong size at the previous location.
Aaaaand then we went to Indigo, and chatted with a lady for upwards of a half hour! Yikes! Luckily, we got what we came for, but our perusing of the stationary section was cut drastically short. Ah well. The day was NOT lacking!
We had a really nice drive home after such a full busy day out and about together. There really is never a dull moment. We really love spending time together, so the day felt like a total treat. We don’t do these kinds of days too terribly often, but I sure treasure the ones we do get 💜
Thank you for the day, sweet girl! Thank you for driving. Thank you for lunch. Thank you for waiting patiently while I tried stuff one. For running for sizes. For asking for help that I needed. For going into multiple locations of the same store to find me exactly what I wanted. It is always a pleasure to be with you 💜
Now to get these kids to bed and have some supper with Brady! I love being away, and I love being home. I feel very fortunate!
It felt good to have another Monday on the books. I know it sounds really strange, but its just the truth. If you look back over the months of 2022 so far, we have had a PACKED year. Lots has gone on, much that was on the blog and lots that wasn’t, and I think I can safely say that we have been perpetually tired. In April, the kids had a week off, and in that time, most of us fell sick. It was a sickness that really hung out, so while the kids were well enough to attend school, we had them wearing masks.
Our poor kids, haha! Almost everyone at school has ditched the masks, except our children. We committed to masking them until chemo was over and done with, as Brady’s immune system needed some extra time to beef up. Of course, the moment chemo was done (YAAAAAY!) we all got sick (booooo!) The kids were not happy about masking that week after the break, since the plan had been to be done at that point. But they handled it, and today, they HAPPILY went to school, mask free!!! 😁
Meanwhile, these two were home today.
Look at how much older they look!!! Ack!
This morning held morning coffee with Cher, with the kids playing and reading and coloring. So far the afternoon has held quiet time, Netflix, and crocheting. And now, for the first time in about two weeks, Brady is out in the garage 💜 and the kids are biking in the street.
Don’t mind me. I think I’m heading out there myself.
