My kids like to have what they call “dark parties.” Solly coined the name. It basically means they take any light-up toys and close up in a dark bedroom and “party.” Dark parties usually end in blood, or at least tears and fighting, so they’re outlawed from time to time. With Dekker’s recent birthday, the kids all acquired some new light-up toys, so dark parties were back on. 

On a particular day, they all piled into one bedroom for a dark party, and I remembered the last time around had become a bit of a control freaks paradise, or a control freaks worst nightmare. Depends on which control freak is winning, haha! So I figured I’d try to harness some of the crazy before it began. 

In this next part, I should be read in a cheesy announcer voice, and the children’s answers were all cloaked in maniacal laughter. 

Me: Does this remain to be a positive dark party?

Them: Ya!

Me: ‘Tis important to remember this dark party belongs to each individual member. No party-goer shall tell another party-goer how to party.

Them: Hahaha! 

Me: Do all party-goers remain to be happy?

Them: Ya!

Me: (makes eye contact with each kid individually) Do YOU have your grump on?

Each kid: NO! 

Me: (stares for awkward three seconds) Carry on!

And then I closed the door on my belly-laughing children.

It was the BEST way we’ve EVER resolved a conflict. It was the BEST way I could’ve made these suggestions to them without anyone needing to defend themselves. It was just AWESOME. I felt really good about it as I left their party and headed to the island to prepare some stuff for lunch. 

And maybe fifteen seconds later, their door opened and the kids filed out in an orchestrated fashion and attacked me in the kitchen with a big giggly group hug. We all laughed and hugged and I kissed each of them. And as fast as they showed up, they filed back into the bedroom and continued their dark party. 

And I cried in my kitchen. Because I felt such love. Such unprompted, genuine, joyful love. The love you can’t force or count on, but is just SO extra special when it comes along. 

Goodness, I love my little people!

Today is Sunday. We are horrible at getting to church, especially in the summer. There’s always a reason not to go. But we really, really wanted to go today! Our pastor was speaking on something we really wanted to hear! That, and just the basic need for Jesus and community. There’s even a lunch after!

We got the kids up early and bathed everyone, dressed everyone, and fed everyone. Some of the kids weren’t in the best of shape, but we can’t always demand perfect. Its not fair to us, or them. Its too important. So we decided to power through.

Except then there was Waverly. In her little dress, laying on the floor on her blanket, unmoving except for her little hand playing with her hair. She lay so still, and smiled at us, but didn’t want to move. She finally sat up, and yawned one of those goooood baby yawns. A couple of minutes later, she was rubbing her ears and her face and crying. Just a tired little fussball. And I knew that if we brought her to church, we’d pace the whole time, and even with that, I knew she wouldn’t be settled. So I decided to stay home with her.

I sat on the floor a bit with her, but she didn’t want anything. I’d hold her but she’d push me. I’d set her down and she’d cry. We listened to music and she wiggled for a minute before plopping back down and rubbing her face all over again.

She was still dressed for church, so I decided to change her back into jammies. I wanted her as comfy as she could be. And the moment I lay her down…

This is her token sleepy reaction. Those three fingers in her mouth and her hand to her hair. Always. Once she was laying down, she was happy. So I knew what she needed.

While I had her laying on the floor, I looked inside of her mouth. That brought some clarity. She is pushing ALL FOUR eye teeth right one. One has just cracked through (YAY!) but the others are bulging under her gums! Poor dear is just feeling it. She is SUCH a tough cookie!

So Waverly is napping a little earlier than usual, for obvious reasons, and I’m working on her scarf for winter. Since I’ve added new yarny skills to my repertoire, I want to make them matching toques and scarves. Did you know thats TEN things?!?! Yikes! Hence why I’m working on it in August. I’ll show you when they’re done 🙂 I’m actually really excited. But I’m getting off track! Gah!

I’m sad to miss church today, but I’m glad Brady was able to take the kids and I got to have a few little minutes with Wavy to myself. She’s so strong, and so animated, and so close to walking! Eek!

A little late, but here’s the skinny on Dekker’s eighth birthday party! 

Dekker had a list of what he wanted to do on his birthday. It read:

Montanas
Grandma, Aunty Jerry, Cher
Bike ride

In the beginning of the summer, he was “planning” for a really lavish party somewhere expensive with EVERYONE he knew attending. This was much more our style. I was so relieved that he was truly happy with this! Lol!

So while his bday was on Wednesday, we made our way to Montanas on Tuesday, because in case you didn’t know, kids eat free on Tuesday!! Also, our amaaaazing balloon twister alternates Montanas locations on Tuesdays 🙂 We couldn’t not go on the right day!! We made a reservation and arrived shortly before 5:00. The manager served us, and informed us right off the hop they were understaffed and overbooked. We had noticed, haha! It was hoppin’ in there, but we never had to wait long! Our server was basically running the entire time, but she was super friendly, and addressed each kid individually rather than just counting on me to tell her what they wanted. I liked that. 

While we waited for our food, I tried to take pictures of people. Didn’t work out great, but it was alright 🙂 

We missed you, Cher! 

Then the balloon guy came. He is always a total riot, but I think I can pretty confidently say he remembers us! We haven’t seen him tons and tons, maybe five times ish, but he remembered Dekker’s name, and he knew that Rowan was a boy! Thats not especially common, so I think he remembers us 🙂 He made ALL of us a balloon! Photos after the fact:

Dekker got a dirt bike. Laela got a monkey in a banana tree, Rowan got a goat (my fave,) and Solly got a hammer. My mom got a little guitar, but unfortunately Dekker got SO excited that he took it. Mom forgave him 😉 And Jerilee and I got bracelets. Because we’re fancy ladies. 

So Dekker was MOST excited for the song and hat and the whole Montanas’s shabang. Last year was the first time we went through with the actual production of a Montana’s birthday and he had rocked with it. He was SO excited for it this time again 🙂 He did great, and did even greater at eating his two desserts! Lol! He was SO jazzed on sugar, it was pretty cute. The other kids indulged in their cookies and wagon wheels and beat on each other with their balloons and had a generally energetic, happy time. 

Dekker opened a STACK of presents. He hauled in the bday gift department this year, WOW! Lego, books, lazers – some lightup and some noisy, a card, and a skateboard!

We had a LOT to carry out of there at the end! (And that was only the gifts from that day! Yikes!) We took a VERY energetic bunch of children home to bed. 

Except a certain birthday boy had one more item on his wish list for his birthday. 

Dekker and Brady went for a post-bedtime bike ride.

She came home with a nice light cool sweat and a huge happy smile. He was SO settled. Content. He felt loved, and it showed. 

The BEST kind of birthday.

I cannot believe that Dekker is eight. Cannot believe it. My first born, Dekker Thomas, came into the world after a beautiful day of labour, mercy, rest, and birth. You can re-read his story here if you’d like. I don’t need to. Its imprinted in my mind like it happened yesterday.

Look at those three kids. We knew nothing. Neither Brady or I had ever even changed a diaper. Dekker was our guinea pig baby, and he was the most graceful, content little man for the job. We were, and continue to be SO blessed to have him as our son.

His last year has been FULL, of change and growth and learning.

Dekker floated beautifully through grade two, and is ready for some grade three action! He likes number work more than letter work, but he works hard at everything he tries. Work ethic is not lost on him. I think he got that from his dad. He LOVES to help, to do jobs, and to take care of Waverly in any way he can.

I’ve said before, Dekker is an old soul. I stand behind that.

He is my most sensitive child to date, and while sometimes thats a challenge, its also such a beautiful quality. It means he feels big. He has always been this way, and in these years of him growing up and maturing, I’m seeing how he cares for others in a different way than some might. He is an absolute gem.

I asked him the other day if he figured, one day, he might be too nig to snuggle with me. He got kind of a critical look on his face and quietly asked “Why would you say that?” Thank goodness!!!

I am SO proud of you, Dekker!! You are an AMAZING son, brother, and friend. Our family NEEDS you! We all love you so much!! Happy birthday!

You’ve been warned. If you don’t want to hear about Christmas, pass right on through!

As I said the other day, my body is ready for fall. Not so much winter, but cooler days, and a new season.

Being myself, I’ve made a long list of who we’re wanting to get Christmas gifts for, and I’ve jotted some gift ideas next to them. With my recent talk of being brave, there is a sting that sits with me, where one time it was said “You can always count on Hailey to give you something homemade or second hand.” And it wasn’t said with love. And that SUCKED. Because I do love giving homemade things! And if I find something second hand that is awesome that I think someone would love, yes, I’ll gift it. That stigma sat with me for a while. Until now! Its still there. but I’m trying to be brave, and trust that my people know me, know my intentions, and choose to see the best in me. I can hope, anyway! Lol! I have a bit of anxiety as I write gift ideas that I’m (gulp) making myself on my list, but I’m going for it! Hopefully everyone understands 🙂 Consider, if you get a homemade gift, from me or anyone else, that a lot of work and love went into it! A homemade gift is NOT the easy way out at all!!

Another thing I’m considering, with the theme of bravery behind it, is doing the Christmas marketplace here in town 😬 It feels SO scary to even consider it, because then my “trying new things” will be completely public. And it will be clear if they’re good or not. Freaks me out even thinking about it, but I want to trust my community, too. So there’s that. Gah! So many weird scary things on the hypothetical docket. Goodness!

I have in my head that I would love to do some kind of gift exchange among my friends/readers/community, but its pretty clear that you don’t all know each other. I feel like a Secret Santa would be SO FUN! I don’t know! Is that too crazy to think that people would buy gifts for people they didn’t know? What if it was a handmade Secret Santa?? Could be anything from food to wood to cloth to a service to Pinterest crafts to whatever else! I don’t know! But its been on my mind for a while 🙂 Anyone find that intriguing? If there was actual interest, I would LOVE to set something up! A Facebook event/group, where everyone could answer a few “what I’m into” questions. I’d pull names. There would be a low cost entry. I could even commit to driving things to people if mailing costs was an issue. Seriously, I think this sounds SO fun!

Is anyone in for something like this? ✋ I know its August, but in the spirit of handmade things taking longer to “acquire” maybe its socially acceptable 😉 PLEASE let me know! This would be SO fun!

I was really nervous to post my blog on bravery the other day. If I can be honest about my little blog audience, I feel like I have three sections of readers. There’s the section of you that I know about, who like and comment and make contact once in a while, and who appear to be rooting for our family around every corner. I appreciate you SO much, even if we haven’t been close friends in person. Chunk number two is silent followers, who I also really appreciate! I’m not afraid of you quiet ones 😉 I choose to believe you follow along because you care. And chunk number three is the small handful of you that I know are not rooting for us, and actually dislike us. Don’t worry chunk one and two, chunk three is small. While chunk number three doesn’t affect me very much, and I don’t need everyone’s approval, I think we can all agree that its hard to share vulnerable things with people you know aren’t on your side or who you don’t feel close to. I’m usually up for sharing almost everything on this blog, but sometimes chunk number three has me hesitating. And it did on “bravery” day.

But I’m SO glad I shared it!! I received a handful of encouraging comments, as well as some messages and texts. Turns out, I am not the only one who feels the need to be braver these days, and who is feeling that itch for change and self improvement. Its not just me who is in a weird time of figuring.

One friend, Carrie J, wrote me a text and told me how she was feeling the same strong feelings as me. She’s a good friend of mine. We don’t get together very often, because #momlife, but every time we do, we really enjoy each other’s company. So we decided to make the effort to go for a walk in the near future and actually discuss our goals and new things we needed to be brave about. I haven’t ever gotten together with someone for that specific purpose. Like, a life rap session. But we were both excited about it, and made it happen yesterday evening.

Once we both had our kids down for bed, we started walking each other’s way. We live about a block-ish apart, so we met within a couple of minutes, and took to doing laps around the pond. The first thing we talked about was Jamin’s day. Carrie suffered the devastating loss of a child years back, and while our losses were very different, we relate quite closely on a lot of things surrounding grief. So she was sensitive enough to ask and understand the mix of emotions swirling around in my heart. I really appreciated that. (And I appreciated all the love and understanding I received on that post. Thank you, friends.)

I won’t discuss what Carrie is working to be braver about, but I can say we had a really awesome, honest, judgement free conversation. She’s a considerably more graceful person than I am, and spoke so calmly and thoughtfully, where as I feel like I was yelling as I got more excited about our conversation! Hahaha! Such a dork, Hailey! As silly as I felt about most of what I was saying, it was really liberating giving some of my thoughts a voice, and hearing them out loud! I’ve written and researched and talked cryptically about them to an extent, but getting together with a trusted friend specifically to talk about new things and goals and vulnerability and life changes made it feel safer. And I was safe. There was no judgement! We laughed at ourselves from time to time, but in a really honest way. A way that I LOVED.

So here’s the thing. I KNOW that not everyone has someone. But there is something SO freeing and exciting about actually sharing some of these things with someone. Saying them OUT LOUD. It makes plans feel more real. Doable. Reachable. So I challenge you to tell someone! And make it intentional. Making that plan with Carrie a few days in advance prepared both of us for what was to come, and we could get our thoughts in order. We knew we were getting together to talk about what we needed to be brave and vulnerable about. It was really worth it. So I say again, tell somebody. It might make it easier to actually go forward with the changes you have in your heart! Whether you tell a spouse, parent, friend, or family member, tell someone! Give someone the opportunity to encourage you in your quest for change! You can even tell me ❤️ I’m not out here, gunning after all your personal information, but I’m something of a vault, and you can share with me anytime 🙂

Friends, what do you have to be brave about? And who are you going to talk to about it?

Wavy is consistently sleeping through the night these days! Thank the good Lord! The little dear only wakes up if we get up to use the bathroom or cough or lull her ourselves. This is making our need for a basement bedroom seem a bit more urgent. She is more than ready to be out of our room. No more bottles. She just goes to bed, and she sleeps all night.

Except right now. Poor Miss Waverly has caught our cold. It positively refuses to quit, and its taking her down with it. Yesterday, she was a bit temperamental, but still in good spirits for the most part.

But last night was not great :/ She was up three or four different times. Normally, if she lulls, she fusses for a minute or two and goes back to sleep. But last night, she felt like garbage, and was considerably more mournful upon waking up. We could hear her stand up in her bed and weep and wail. We felt for her, and went to get her, wipe her nose, and give her a drink. She slugged that water back so much, her throat must’ve really hurt. She woke up at the right times to give her some medicine, and we even sat with her and watched a little Netflix while we waited for it to kick in. She was a picture of misery. Very very cute misery.

Today hasn’t been much better for her. She’s slept most of it, and when she was awake, she’s been pretty sad. She slept through lunch, so when she woke up, I gave her a handful of goldfish crackers before she was, once again, a puddle of tears and needed to go back to bed.

I only wish I was so cute when I’m sick 💜

Get better soon, Wavy! We miss your happy smile and playing with you!