Dropping Dekker off this morning was an eye-opener.
I anticipated that Dekker would walk to school most of this year. I figured I’d find some other family who let their kids walk and ask if Dekker could join, and just kind of take that “job” off my plate. Losing Jamin right before the school year began, I just didn’t have it in me to figure it out. The longer it took, the more I just decided that I’d drive him for the year, and that next year, he and Laela will walk together. So yes, I have driven Dekker to and from school every single day this year. He has been more than capable of walking, but it just hasn’t happened.
Earlier in the year, I’d park us nice and close, walk him across the street and to the school. I’d wait outside the boot room for him to drop his backpack off, then give him a hug and kiss before he’d run off to the playground. It was an adorable system, but I slowly made strides to give him a bit more space and independence, which was extra hard because he was HAPPY to have me come with him! I knew it would’ve last forever that he’d request I walk with him.
As the weather warmed up, I started to offer him to just walk from the van by himself. There are crossing guards, he’d be safe, etc. He was reluctant at first, but became comfortable very quickly. Even on days that we get there before the crossing guards are out, I’ve watched how he looks both ways, waits for vehicles to stop, etc. He knows what to do.
We have this special hug spot. He stands on what I guess is the running board of the van, and I stand on the ground, and it is the perfect height for us to hug. We refer to that spot as “the best hugging spot ever.” And he never rushes to be done, until recently, where he’s delicately said once or twice “I’m ready now, mommy.” Deep breaths for me!
This morning, I drove him to school, and met him at the best hugging spot ever for our goodbye hug. A few kids from his grade walked by, but he wasn’t concerned. We were having a really good hug. Finally, I said “Should I let you go, honey?” And he giggled and said no, he’d like to just stay. We had a bit more of a hug before I grabbed our hug just that much tighter and lifted him onto the sidewalk. He waved like crazy and off he went. I got back into the van and put it into drive to head home, and when I reached the four way stop, he was standing on the corner, checking if the coast was clear. No crossing guards yet. I stopped and waved at him. He chuckled and waved, and then motioned for me to go first. Ugh. My heart…..
We picked Dekker up as a family this afternoon. We caught him in a big group hug, which he seemed to love, as did we. Everyone was very excited to have him back! We made our way out of the school towards the van and chatted briefly with the principal of the school. She is such a lovely, warm person, and I couldn’t be happier with her as the overseer of the school. She encouraged me, saying that Dekker had blossomed so much this year, and was so much more confident! He had really come into his own, we both agreed. As we parted ways, she wished us luck “with little Bambina” and I could’ve cried. I LOVE that Dekker talked to her about the baby, and I love that she remembered that little detail <3
Dekker, we are SO PROUD OF YOU!!! You have grown a ton this year, leaving me all puffy and proud, but ALL the glory goes to God!! He has carried our boy through all kinds of new things, and he has come out on top, having learned and stretched. He is such a little man, but I feel like I said the same thing last year!
I can’t wait to see what grade two holds for my biggest little, and thankfully, neither can he!!