How long have you followed? Lots and lots of readers are new this year, so you may not know.
Four years ago, I had the devastation and pleasure of delivering a teeny tiny baby boy in the hospital. I was 16.5 weeks pregnant, and his heartbeat could not be found at a routine prenatal appointment. I felt such confidence as I booked the ultrasound that everything was well on the inside, but that the baby was just positioned further back. I had high hopes that I might even be lucky enough to learn the gender so early in the game.
Instead, I experienced the highest level of grief I knew at that point. Our baby had passed away.
The baby measured too large to safely induce miscarriage at home, so I was sent to the hospital for a D&C.
I will never forget the person registering me asking me to repeat myself over and over why I was there, trying to convince me I didn’t belong there.
“I’m here for a D&C. I’m here for a D&C. I’M HERE FOR A D&C!” I’m not exaggerating when I say that was actually one of the most traumatizing parts of the whole thing for me. Finally someone who knew I was coming cut it off and whisked me away.
Then I was told that my baby also measured too large for a safe D&C. So I set up to deliver.
Shortly after 7:00am, our baby was born.
It’s a boy 💙 We named him Jamin.
Its pronounced “JAY-min.”
Jamin means “at the right hand of God.”
And that is exactly where we believe him to be.
I will never forget those couple of hours I was able to spend with him in person. God made it clear to Brady and I when it was time to let him go. Jamin simply wasn’t made for earth. And that is ok. Experiencing that grief was an opportunity for us in many ways. I will always be grateful for the journey we took with Jamin, and I deeply anticipate seeing him again someday in Heaven, at the right hand of God.
You are dearly loved, sweet boy. Happy birthday, Jamin.