I had no idea how unsettled Rowan was until he was settled. You know how, usually, when babies cry, you can carry them against your tummy and warm up their tummies, and they settle and sleep, all wrapped around your body? Rowan never did that. He was always wiggly. Which was fine, because he was a wiggly baby, and some babies are just wiggly! Right? But obviously, it has turned into something more, and while Rowan is still solidly active and loves to jump and roll and play, he is now a content baby, for the first time ever.
This evening, as I fed him his bottle, he lay perfectly still and drank it, playing with his hands the whole time. He had one point in the middle where he twitched like crazy under it, and spat it out really quickly. I teased him a bit and managed to get the bottle back in his mouth without any tears or much of a fight. And he continued drinking, easily finishing his bottle.
When I took the bottle out of his mouth, he was staring up at me, milk down his chin, with a big dopey grin across his face. From my perception, he was both proud of himself, and had a nice full tummy. It is amazing for me to see those reactions for him. Not long ago at all, his feedings ended with everyone sweating, himself all teary and soaked in milk, and everyone exhausted. This is SO much better. Its funny how successful feedings bring me to tears, but they really do. Its one of those things that I didn’t realize how difficult it really was until there was improvement, you know? It was our norm. Like how Dekker would vomit every time you’d pick him up. No word of a lie. It didn’t matter if he had just eaten, or not, or just burped, or not. It was just always. He barfed all the way down my back and into my pants multiple times a day, every day, for about eight months. And it was BRUTAL. But it was truly amazing when he started getting stronger and it became less. This is one of those things. As things improve, I am just extra grateful for them.
Rowan still has those panicky twitches, and he still sometimes struggles VERY hard during a feeding, so I think I’m going to go along with my doctors recommendation, and bump his medication juuust a bit. As in another half mil, twice a day. If he can be completely reflux free, we’ll be able to start improving a few more things and making life easier for him, and in turn, for us. We just have to help him get comfortable first.
I’m SO thrilled with the progress Ro is making. I’m sorry to those of you who are bored of hearing about this. I understand many other people and their children have much bigger fish to fry. But I’m all for celebrating all victories, big or small, and I believe that since we’re celebrating our own victories over here, I’m deciding that they’re all big 🙂
YAY ROWAN, FOR NOT TASTING ACID WHEN YOU EAT!!!!! THATS SO GROSS!!!!!