Gut Wrenching Sunday

It hasn’t been our best day, but I’ve been working pretty hard to keep my head up. The kids struggled their way through church, and fussed all the way through lunch with my parents. We did order pizza in, however, from Pizza Hut as a belated little birthday lunch for me, so I thoroughly enjoyed that. The kids napped for an incredibly short time, but it was ok, because they go to bed better when they’re completely trashed. After their nap, we realized some plans for the evening were changing, so instead of staying for supper, we headed home for the evening. Not a problem at all.

As we drove away from town, I got this awful sickly thought in my head that I think I’m going to keep in my family for the time being, but it made me almost physically ill. I spoke to Brady about it and we both felt gross afterwards. Big decisions coming up, all of a sudden. Anyway, we were feeling pretty discouraged on the drive home, but again, tried pretty hard to get it together and just keep moving. It was 6:00 by the time we got home and the kids go to bed around 7:00-7:30, so we only needed to wear brave faces for a little while.

That last hour was incredibly difficult. As hard as we tried, I’m sure the kids could tell something was up, and in turn, acted out like crazy. It was an exhausting, tear filled evening for me. Once everyone was down, I tried to bake something to relax, and burnt the heck out of it. So Brady and I sat on the couch and made a new plan.

That plan is a bath and nachos.

Rowan, however, wants to change our plans. He woke up from his dead sleep and just can’t even. He will not stop crying. WILL. NOT. STOP. We have nights like this sometimes, and thats ok, but today is just not the day for it. We feel tired and discouraged, and we haven’t even had supper yet. That will probably help, I suppose. But we both felt just gross at supper time.

I feel at such a loss…..