I went into today really anxious about Dekker’s eye appointment. Not because I was expecting bad results, but because we’ve sort of been giving Dekker a break from all the things that scared him, including outings. He hasn’t had to go very far for a while, and he’s loved it. I know there is a time and place, but I feel like constantly taking him out was doing more harm than good, so we made the decision to give him an extended break from crowds as best as we could. Dekker hasn’t run errands or entered stores for probably a couple of months. But today was the hospital, where he would have to be amongst lots of kids in a small space, and have to follow instructions and sort of be bugged with having to look through things, or just through one eye. Things like that. Just annoyed. And I was nervous.
We got to the hospital on time, and arrived to a really full waiting room, teeming with kids. It was probably fuller than we’ve ever seen it. Dekker definitely wasn’t comfortable going out and playing with the kids, but he didn’t act out at all. He just sat on a chair between Brady and I, and waited patiently. Laela started to get restless so I set her down, and she motored down the hallway. I followed her, and eventually Dekker wanted to come too. So we walked around a bit and found some toys on the walls, near the waiting room but not directly in it. I was asking him what animals were in the picture and one kid ran up, announcing that HE knew what they were. I explained to him that my little boy was a little bit younger so he didn’t know all the animals yet. The older boy didn’t give the answers away, which was nice, but he sure didn’t have a concept of personal space either! We don’t all have that. I probably didn’t as a kid either. Oh well.
When he went into orthoptics (initial testing before the doctor visit) Dekker was ticked. I asked if he would rather sit with daddy than mommy, and he said yes. He often feels safer in Bradys arms, which I totally understand. They’re much stronger than mine 🙂 The man running the tests tried to engage Dekker a few times but wasn’t met with much positivity. I apologized to him and said I always felt like we were the loudest family to come through there. His eyes widened and he assured me that this was nothing compared to a lot of kids that come through there. I was actually pretty happy to hear that. I told him that Dekker’s fear of people has escalated greatly since his surgery, and he also said that was a very common thread and absolutely made sense. It was nice to hear that we’re not the only ones. Dekker wasn’t having the tests until the orthoptist pulled out a matching game. We never play matching games with him, but he grabbed the paper and knew exactly what to do! He did awesome from there on out. The tester assured us that Dekkers eyes look really straight, and that he’s definitely using them together, which is a HUGE relief! He said he wasn’t going to push too hard for distance vision testing, since Dekker was a bit on edge, but that things are really looking good from his point of view. I think that was the first time I realized the reason why we have to go back every 4-6 months. You can really only gather so much info before a kid loses interest or gets tired. So that went surprisingly well! I was so relieved to have such a patient orthoptist working with Dekker.
We headed back to the waiting room. It was less populated at first but filled up pretty fast. I ended up speaking to a couple of women about their kids eyes. One of them had a daughter who just had the same surgery as Dekker, but she was around 12. She had it done only yesterday, and I was really curious how she was feeling, since Dekker was pretty much non-verbal at the point of his and I couldn’t really know what it was like for him. She said her daughter complained of burning and a bit of blurred vision but was doing decent in general. Moody, she said 🙂 I would be too. The other woman I spoke to was carrying this terrible guilt. Her twin daughters had glasses at 18 months, and she said that now, she can see it in pictures long before 18 months. She was at the office to get her third kid checked, just like we had with Laela. I told her I had Laela checked around 8 months, and truly, her eyes weren’t where the “average” 8 month olds should be, BUT Dr. Rubab wanted to give her eyes a bit more time to mature before putting her into glasses. I wanted her to know that even if she had seen the eyes turn in sooner, they may not have been put in glasses any sooner anyway. I just felt sad that she was carrying so much guilt. I hope she’s ok. She seemed so nervous.
We got called into Dr. Rubabs office after maybe ten minutes in the waiting room, and once again, Dekker wasn’t thrilled. She tried to charm with a sticker, to which he replied “no thank you.” So she kind of just regarded him for a second, and said “What about a treat at the end then? Do you know this kind of treat?” and pulled out a sucker. Oh, he knows that kind. She made a deal with him and set it on the counter so he’d remember, and when all the games were done (games is sooo much better than tests!) he could have his sucker. He did sooo well! He identified the shapes across the room until they were just too small for him, and then he asked for his sucker. Brady and I told him he needed to wait until it was all done, but Dr. Rubab leaned in and said “Actually, all the games are done! You can have it now.” Brady helped him open it, and Dekker bit a huge piece of it off. He doesn’t quite understand the concept of a SUCKer, I guess. While he chewed loudly, Dr. Rubab told us that everything is holding strong. He is definitely using both eyes, they have similar/the same strength, and his vision tests were better with her than in orthoptics! She was really happy with what she saw, and thats awesome. She told us when we need to come back, and turned to pass Brady the paper to hand in at the desk, when she saw Dekker. He was desperately trying to bite the last bite of candy off the sucker stick. It was in his mouth, and he was absolutely shaking from pulling the stick so hard! Dr. Rubab just laughed at him, and it warmed my heart to see her look at him so sweetly. There are those brief moments in time when I see our doctor as a woman, and she sees her patient as a child, and it just makes me more confident that we made the right choice so many months ago. She is absolutely the right specialist for our family.
On top of all of that, Laela was incredibly patient and calm through both appointments. She hardly made a noise, and just chilled on my lap while Dekker ran his tests from Bradys lap. Games, I mean!!! I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of that before today. Its just so much less ominous.
After the appointment, I went to the desk to make the next one and met the lovely woman behind the phone that I talked to so many times around Dekker’s surgery. Dr. Rubabs personal receptionist. At first, I had no idea. She said Dekker needed an appointment in February, and I mentioned that my daughter had an appointment in February, and asked if they could be put together. She replied, “Oh, yes. Laela, right?” I was so surprised, but completely delighted to meet her. She is SUCH a sweetheart every time we speak, and it was so nice to put a face to the name. We left down the elevator, which is Dekkers favorite part, since its glass and he can see out, and we were back at the van less than 1.5 hours from leaving it. Thats pretty quick for a hospital appointment!
Brady dropped me off at Jerilee’s and took the kids home. Us ladies hit up a nearby mall and did lunch and a bit of shopping before she drove me home. I know, I live far away and it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but we hadn’t seen each other in a while, and needed a date. I bought a few basic shirts for Thyme Maternity for heading into fall, and a beautiful day planner. I have way more appointments than I’ve ever had in my life right now, and I just don’t feel organized having everything on my phone. I really like paper. So I purchased a gorgeous, sparkly, 18 month, Kate Spade planner. Yes, it was wildly overpriced, but thanks to a random gift card I’ve had in my wallet for years, I hardly paid anything for it. I’m sooo excited to start getting myself organized going into the Christmas season!!
The last thing I’ll babble about before I finally cut this post off is my garden. Frost is coming. I think its tonight. My corn has been on the verge of being ready for a while now, but it always seems to be “a few days away.” I’m hoping one really light dip below zero won’t hurt it, because I think it would benefit from a bit more time. BUT, we picked four cobs tonight and gave them a go. And honestly, they were pretty great 🙂 They could be better, the kernels could still stand to be a bit bigger, but it was sooo nice to get some of our garden fresh corn into our bellies in case the rest kicks the bucket tonight. I was so thrilled to husk one and finally see yellow instead of snow white kernels. Pleeeaaase survive the night, corn cobs!!! I want to eat all of you!
Ok, the end. Sorry for the long rambling post about things that may seem unimportant to most of you. This was a pretty great day for me, considering the dread I was feeling for it yesterday. Lots of positives, both unexpected and hesitantly hoped for. Now, I am tired. Good tired.
Satisfied tired.