I figured I’d make a little jot note list of the things Brady worked on while I was gone, and I’m almost embarrassed at how extensive and impressive it is. That guy has such work ethic, and he does it all with such a happy heart. Yes, men like him do exist.

When I go away for a weekend, which happens a couple of times a year, he often uses that time as an opportunity to get stuff done. Sometimes its chores around the house, and sometimes its a project. He made me makeup lights once, and painted a new front door another time. The mug shelf was also a “weekend away” project. Its always pretty wonderful to see what he’s going to do. Not that he can’t do work while I’m home, but we tend to like to spend that time laying low together, not crushing all the jobs we can think of. I’m SO grateful for his work this last weekend. My goodness.

Let’s break that down now.

Brady finished the Christmas lights, but you guys know about that from his blog on Saturday.

Brady’s emptied out our basement (except for the furnace room, of course) and swept it to get it ALL ready for carpet. He patched a couple of holes in our concrete floor with a few layers of tile grout. I know thats not optimal, but it was our best option at the time, and it’ll be fine. Alongside that, he also did some more patching on the drywall, mostly in our entrance and the stairwell. It got pretty beat up a couple of years ago already when we brought materials downstairs, and then we added a light fixture in the entrance and needed to cut two holes in the ceiling, once which needed to be patched. So he did that. And two in our dining room from about a year ago when we took down Waverly’s name sign and it took some paint and drywall with it. Whoops. LOTS of patching.

Another big thing Brady worked on was our laundry area. We have a big beefy closet that encloses our machines, and a long time ago, we bought an industrial track system for the doors. It was annoyingly expensive, but it’ll be the perfect system for us. Brady took time this weekend to place the track on the floor so the carpet guy knew how far to go. He also called the place from where we ordered it, and ordered one more part that will make it perfect. That last part will make the area more versatile and there will be no dead space. It’ll even free up space for a small linen closet area maybe! We have a linen closet upstairs but with all of our people, we have a lot of linens. Having two spaces will be huge for us. Maybe one for towels and one for sheets, or maybe sheets and towels for each level? I’m not sure yet. But the freedom to actually have some cabinets in there is just awesome.

Speaking of laundry, Brady took it upon himself to try and get the smell out of my clothes that I foolishly washed with my post-op underwear. If you remember, I had a pair of underwear that I wore right after my D&C when I was still slathered with that orange anti-septic, and I washed them together with pretty much all of my finicky, slightly high maintenance laundry, and for the life of me, I cannot get the smell out. Brady worked at that for a full day, laundering them 5+ times. They still stink. Not as much, but some. Its ok, though. I know what I’ll try next. Unless someone has experienced this before??

Brady called the vacuum store we recently ordered a part from. Our vacuum broke a while back, and Brady ordered a new part, but it turned out to be the wrong size. As you know, our plate has been pretty full lately, and we haven’t gotten around to returning and reordering the part yet. But he called and made a plan with the vacuum store. Another thing off the list. Which is important, considering we’re gonna need a vacuum to get all the little bits out of the new carpet pretty quick here.

Some things Brady did outside, besides the Christmas lights, were based around the garage. First, we installed the garage key pad. I mentioned to him the other day how odd it was that everyone around us had one, but we didn’t. And he said “Oh, we do. I’ve just never installed it.” So he installed it! Haha! Easy peasy. And then he painted and replaced the door leading from the garage into the house. Thats a bit of a long story, but the Reader’s Digest version goes like this: When we built the house, we chose beautiful doors all through our house, including the entrance closet doors. When we actually got here, they took off the construction doors and put on the real exterior doors, and they looked SO BAD next to our beautiful closet doors. Almost immediately upon moving in, we ordered a new doors for our entrance. And then they sat forever, because it wasn’t a priority. Last year, Brady painted and installed the purple front door, and this weekend, painted the other one white and traded out the last ugly entrance door. Woot!

And because there was still time on Sunday afternoon, Brady kept on going. He got the tv mounted on the basement wall, which seems premature, but if you’ve spent time at our house, you know it isn’t. We don’t watch much tv, and we’re more eager to have it out of our main living room than anything.

Plus, as soon as the carpet is in downstairs, we have those beautiful, cozy couches to move down. We may accidentally start watching tv again, hahaha! Just as accidentally as we stopped! When the tv was on the wall, he decided to run the cables and get it working. And once it was working, he decided to be a sucker for punishment and move the whole big stand downstairs by himself and slip it into the furnace room, so we can have the storage space there as soon as carpet is in.

Can you guys tell we’re really excited about getting carpet installed? Where is that guy?? He’s late…

Beyond these things that I’m super excited about, Brady also worked on invoices and completed his quarterly GST report.

Aaaaand if that wasn’t enough, he was also a top notch, involved, loving dad to our children. Which shouldn’t be so unbelievable to so many, but is the thing I’m the most grateful for.

Brady took the kids outside to play. He bathed them all and took them to church.

He took Wavy on a donut date while the little ones were in Sunday School.

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He made them baked oatmeal.

He helped Dekker hang a poster on his wall. He wrote a blog for me.

This man is unstoppable.

I am SO grateful for all he has done, and all that he is.

Wasn’t Brady’s blog yesterday so good? <3 I would be SO IMPRESSED if that was all he got done while I was away, but as usual, he crushed WAY more. I’ll tell you all about it, maybe tomorrow.

In case it wasn’t obvious, I’m home! Cher and I got home tonight around 9:00ish. Brady helped me carry everything in, and I ran a couple of things next door to my neighbour that I had picked up for her. Now we both have the same dishes! Lol! Maybe I’ll tell you about my purchases tomorrow, too. We’ll have to see how I lay the blogs out this week, because there is going to be a LOT to talk about!

Carpet starts tomorrow! We are SO ready for that job to begin, and hopefully to end pretty quickly thereafter. So we’ll have that to talk about. And there is so much in the works to get that place up and running soon. Gah! I can’t wait! I think I had written off the basement, somewhat, almost as though it was just never going to happen. I’m SO thrilled its on its way.

Tonight I’m so thankful. I’m thankful for my husband and his work ethic. For my friends who I can travel with, and the ones who check in and love me when I’m gone. For my kids who I miss. For my break from my life this weekend, that I was excited for but didn’t realize I needed. And for home, because this is always my comfy, safe place to fall. And its only gotten better with time. I love it here.

Tomorrow will be great 🙂 We’ll talk soon, friends.

Guest Post!

This is Brady, Hailey’s husband, and I’m filling in today because is away for the weekend. I’ll let her fill you in when she gets back. 

So this last week I was scheduled to be working for a general contractor that I’ve only worked for a couple times and they seem a little disorganized. Unfortunately, this week they were incredibly disorganized and out 3 days scheduled I only worked 2 hours on Tuesday afternoon. Of course I can always fill my time at home when I get a day off here and there. Thursday I chose to get up on roof and put up Christmas lights.

After a bit of messaging with our neighbours I was able to borrow roofing harness and made the 20’ climb to the roof over our living room.

It didn’t take me long to realize that I’m much more confident on our roof than I was 3 years ago when I did this the first time. I was comfortable getting close enough to the edge to easily reach the eavestrough to attach the lights and move around confidently.

I was able to get the in a groove putting up the first 66′ string because it was just a straight line up from the lowest eave.

Pretty quickly I found myself out on the corner of our front porch roof where I struggled the hardest with my fear of heights last time. I went like a breeze and I took the opportunity to text Hailey for a photo op.

Is anyone else so impressed how clean our eavestroughs are? 😉 Protip: They’re brand new. 🙂

And it didn’t take long to finish off a second 66′ string.

I knew I had less than 66′ to go to finish the upper level of the house so i switched to a couple of the 20′ strings and it couldn’t have worked out more perfectly!

I was able to run a couple extension cords do the back of a downspout to the lower level of the roof. This was even more ideal than how it turned out a few years ago. I was pumped. I called a day at this point as we had some awesome new couches to spontaneously go pick up. 🙂

On Friday afternoon with Hailey headed out on her weekend away, the big kids in school, and the wee three in bed, I was able to get back outside and finish the lower level.

I started from where I wanted the lights to end over top of the walkway to our front door and worked back from there. Starting with the last 66′ string followed by the last 20′ string I was able to get it finished in an hour or so.

It didn’t turn out quite right as the last string ended about 3 feet from the end of the eavestrough where I had run my extension cords down to the day before. But luckily I ended up with about 3′ of extra extension cord. 🙂

So now we have a fully Christmas Lightsed house!

And it looks even better at night than I remember it looking. 🙂

We are SO excited about how well the carpet sale worked out. The installer is coming MONDAY!! Thats SOON! Once that is done, we’re going to be very eager to get things finished up down there. As we were dreaming about everything yesterday, we started perusing Facebook Marketplace for a couch set. Were we jumping the gun a little? Perhaps. But as many of my family members will tell you, I have a knack for finding amazing deals on places like Marketplace, Kijiji, etc. Our current couch set upstairs is from Kijiji, and I found it for $400 for both a couch and loveseat, genuine leather, with one cushion slightly worn. The rest may as well never have been sat on. It was an awesome find. So I decided to start looking already yesterday, so we could get a feel for what we wanted.

Marketplace had nothing. We didn’t want leather downstairs, and it seemed we were between either really shiny stiff leather, and really old beater couches. We wanted comfy, not so beat up, not so expensive.

And of course, I found them. Because why not?

A couch, a loveseat, and a chair. The ad said things like “no smoke, pets, or small children.” They were three years old, like new condition. The price was even brought down $100 as a Thanksgiving Day Special, so I felt confident the owner wanted to get rid of them. I inquired with the owner, and he was out in Hafford, which is almost an hour drive from us. We decided to make it a family affair, so Brady could drive his empty van to bring them home, but also that he and I could decide together.

We got the kids some supper in the van and drove out in convoy. We listened to Christmas music. It was really nice. When we got to the place, we knocked. It took forever for the people to come to the window and ask us to come around the back. So we did, and then we still had to knock and wait. And then it was the wrong house. Sigh.

“We’ve been in contact. Are you Ron?”
“Nope. I’m Don.”

So close.

Turns out we were two blocks away, on the wrong side of main street. When we did find the right house, the owner, his wife, and their son were waiting for us. SUPER friendly people. We found out he was actually the mayor of town.

I’ll save you the run around. The couches were SO COMFY. And seriously, virtually untouched. They said the loveseat especially was probably only ever used during holidays. They showed us the ONE mark they could find, and said it came home from the furniture store like that. True story, I still can’t find the mark. Didn’t see it in the moment, haven’t found it since. But apparently there’s one somewhere. I’m super unconcerned. The SINGLE downfall of the set is the color. Its brown. We don’t have brown anywhere anymore. We have grey, and vastly prefer it. But these couches are the BOMB, and I thought it idiotic to pass them up because they’re the “wrong” neutral. Maybe not for my main living room, but for the basement? No way. They’re perfect.

The owners son had come solely to help Brady load up. We happily agreed to their price of $500, because thank the Lord, our carpet had come in so far under budget. SO awesome!! While the men took off the door and started loading them couches into Brady’s van, I talked with the owners. They insisted on sending some Halloween treats for the kids, who were waiting so patiently in the van with their snacky supper and music.

Brady was able to fit everything into his van, we all shook hands, and went on our way. We drove by our old house before heading back home, as per the kids request. Can’t really tell if anyone lives there anymore, but its funny. I don’t care very much. It was a nice place to live for those years, but I feel almost no attachment to it at all. Our home now has always been in our hearts. Its always been home, even before it existed. The Radisson place did the job, but it wasn’t really home. Radisson wasn’t home. We’re home now.

We got home at the kids bedtime, and got them all tucked away before actually unloading the couches into our garage. They’ll live there until mid-next week ish. I cannot wait!!!

Its coming together! Finally!!

Waverly has a new love. And that new love is dress-up.

It is the cutest little thing thats been developing for a while. If she finds laundry on the floor, she’ll bring it to one of us and wave it around until we put it on her. Even if that means pants going on her head. That counts too! For a while, we kind of just did it for our own entertainment, because she was just a little baby and maybe didn’t know what was going on, but wasn’t mad about it. But its very clear and very intentional now.

Shirts, pants, hoodies, whatever else. Even one of our sweaters hooked on the railing is fair game. Its gotten WAY cuter since she started babbling more. She talks, and says the same sounds over and over, so you know she’s actually saying words. Today, she stood over by the railing, holding Brady’s hoodie sleeve, and asked “Wear this?” Clear as day. So, she wore it!

She LOVED it, even though it was WAY too big to even drape over her, so we loosely tied it to her like a cape.

Another one today that I sadly do not have a picture of was the fanny pack. We got Rowan a little fanny pack type thing last Christmas so he could keep some of his little treasures to himself. Wavy found it and wanted it on SO badly. She waved it and shrieked at us to put it on her. We finally got the message and Brady started to reach around her to click it on. She raised her arms and danced her little hips back and forth while she jabbered and sang and celebrated. It was the CUTEST thing!

Once this basement thing is done, I cannot wait to pull out all of the dress up clothes again!! Our kids will ALL have a hayday with that, Waverly included!

Its been a low time around here for a while, but today was productive and joyful, and I thought I’d share that with the group 🙂 Its important to remember the good stuff!

So last night, Brady’s work for today fell through. Its a bit too bad, because work was SO slow for SO long, and its taking some time to catch back up. We really need all the work we can get. But, as it happens sometimes, Brady was home today. And we have been itching to go carpet shopping! Being that today was not a preschool day, we decided to run in in the morning and take a peek at a couple of places. I had emailed four flooring stores over the weekend and had received only one quote back. Merp. Yet, as we were heading out the door, I got another quote, and it was SO good! We had a budget in mind, and would have the full amount to purchase carpet by the end of this month. This quote looked super hopeful, but maybe too good to be true. So we started there.

Brady and I walked into the flooring store with our three littlest kids and moseyed through the showroom. It was a bit annoying that no one came to help us, so we finally get to the front desk. Brady spoke up and said we had received an emailed estimate just this morning, but it had salesman no name on it. The guy seemed a bit bewildered, and asked around until he found out who it had been. The salesman walks us back and showed us the product he had quoted. It was fine, but not especially soft. Now I know the biggest part of what makes a carpet soft is the underlay, and his quote included the softest, thickest underlay. But still, the carpet was just a little less cozy than I had hoped. He told us it was made of recycled pop bottles, so it was great for stain removal. I hesitated and said I wished it was a little longer, and a little softer. He grabbed a different sample of a different roll, and we compared it. It was definitely nicer. Not quite as nice as our home carpet, but definitely close enough. Brady asked “Same price?” and the guy said “Sure.” And that was that.

We went to the front desk and added it up. He started to talk about installation, and Brady said he was going to install it. The salesman seemed hesitant, and asked if Brady had installed carpet before. He hasn’t, but he had done some research and felt like he was willing to try it. Just for interest sake, we asked what installation would cost on top of the cost of materials. When he added it all up, taxes and install included, it was UNDER what we had budgeted for JUST materials!!! So, we jumped. Because while we could install it, this was just so much better and saved us a ton of hassle.

They’re coming Monday!!!

Ack! We were SO happy walking out of there. Just one place, one price, and installation is just around the corner. I’m super thrilled. I noted the price on the roll of carpet we chose and we definitely got a better price than the tag said. I assume everyone does, but it was just SO much better than we had imagined. The most complicated part of carpet shopping was the fact that there was a dog in there, and the kids were terrified of it, lol! Such a beautiful, low key dog, but they were NOT impressed. But the actual shop was easy 😉

Since that went so fast, we got to my blood draw appointment a little early. So I got in early! That was a bit of an experience, haha! I know for a fact that I was his first blood draw ever, and he was SO nervous. He was playing it off the best he could, and I tried to be a super easy patient, but he was shaking like a leaf. He successfully drew my blood and left me to press down on the cotton while he took the blood to where it needed to go. I hear him celebrate with someone, saying “I did it! First blood draw!” I laughed, and then pretended I hadn’t heard him 😉 It was funny.

After that, I ducked into Lawson Mall and finally picked up Brady’s birthday gift. Its late, and I’ve known for a couple of months what I wanted to get him. It was so little, but thank goodness, it was still there!

I like him a lot. He was such a good sport about his dorky gift.

We hit Costco on the way out, just for a quick run in for veggies and milk. I stayed in the van with the kids and we blasted Christmas music while Brady ran in. People walked by and stared at us through our windows as we sang along. It was really fun.

Then home, lunch, and nap time. Brady and I watched some Netflix and I started doing some work on Christmas gifts. Did I mention that I picked up everything I need for my homemade gift exchange recipient today?? Eek! Aaaaanyway, I started working on something for one of my kids, actually, and I’m feeling really good about the progress I’ve made. I have…..3.5 more items to make for my children, and then anotherrrrrrr at least five gifts for other people. I’m stoked though 🙂 I’m feeling a renewed sense of joy and energy to put into things, and I’m going to run with it as long as its here!

Now, the kids are just getting home, everyone is getting up from naps, and we have a relaxed afternoon with the kids ahead. Aaaaand Jerilee is coming for supper and the evening! Its really turned out to be an excellent day. I feel accomplished, and happy, and so excited for such a big step to be taken in the basement for literally $700 LESS than we thought it would take, and WAY less work, too!

I may be a couple of days behind, and this may not be the deepest, most emotional post, but please take this as my post of gratitude for Thanksgiving. How fortunate are we ❤️ SO fortunate.

Mid-last week, Dekker and Laela had parent teacher interviews. Brady had to work a long day, so I asked someone over to come hang with the kids, and I went to meet Dekker and Laela after school. We doddled in the library for a bit, since Dekker’s interview didn’t start until 3:30.

The kids read me books and told me about their days. I asked them if there was anything they specifically wanted me to bring up at the interview, and they both said no. So we just waited and moseyed our way over a few minutes early. 

Dekker’s interview was first. I went in with him, and Laela read library books out in the hallway while she waited for her turn. 

Meeting with Dekker’s teacher was really really good. She had given the kids a questionnaire to fill out, so Dekker answered the questions of what he needs/wants from school. How he best works. What he likes and dislikes. None of it surprised me, or her. He prefers quiet, he said. She read a question that asked what he needed from her to help him finish work at the right time, and he shrugged. We all laughed, because if Dekker is ONE THING, he is a rule follower. He loves his guidelines and to know what’s expected of him, and then he can quite easily excel at that thing. They discussed the ONE time he got upset and had a hard time recovering. His teacher expressed that he had done well, had asked for a break, and had watched for the remainder of the class. She said to him “If you’re ever uncomfortable with something we’re doing, I want you to tell me so I can help you. Sometimes, I’ll let you sit out, and sometimes, I’ll push you a little. But we’ll go slow, ok?” I LOVED that. She has such a good radar for him, and is SO sensitive. We talked about how he was actually excelling in being int he split class, which I was a little concerned about. She agreed with me that he is SO intelligent, but tends to hang back a little when he’s not feeling confident. The split has been a good push for him, and he’s doing great with it. His reading is up to where she says most grade four kids are at, so that is wonderful! She even asked if we had any special family holidays or dates that were important to us, so they could also be important to the class. I couldn’t think of anything, but she left the door open to mention anything at anytime. The bottom line of that interview was that she is really 100% there to help the students, and that she really cares about them. She cares that they’re learning and growing academically, but she really cares about them as people. I love that so much! Dekker has had so few struggles thus far in grade three, and the small amount he’s had have been handled gracefully. I’m super happy with how his interview went. 

Once we were done at Dekker’s interview, he biked on home and I went with Laela to wait her turn. We were early, but apparently no one had filled that slot, and we could go in early! Laela was a little quiet during the interview, but I think it was odd for her to have her mom and her teacher in the same place. A bit of a “worlds colliding” moment, maybe. She was being a little silly, and said some of her favourite parts of school were the guinea pigs and the bouncy chairs. We got out of her that she likes playing on the computer, the library, and the microscope. She likes having her own desk, and says she likes lots of kids and usually has friends around her. Her teacher confirmed that she was super social, as well as very polite and helpful. I mentioned that Laela is something of a second mom to the little kids at home, and her teacher said she could see that in her. She’s a very soft, sweet little girl and she really loves to help people. She likes to do jobs and clean up at the end of the day. We got into the academic talk next, and discussed that Laela is reading at level F. Her teacher said realistically she could read at an even higher level, but now that the books are getting longer and more detailed, she wants Laela to practice recounting the story, not just blasting through it. Laela doesn’t have a particular struggle with that, from my view, but I’m definitely happy to ride it out and get better at it!! We talked math, which Laela doesn’t love, but still excels at. Her teacher teased her a little, saying “I’m not sure why you don’t like it, you’re great at it!” Laela kind of smiled shyly, and looked down. I get her. She just likes letters better than numbers. But her teacher was right. Laela is good at numbers. She’s pretty natural at most things she tries. As for Laela’s attitude, she’s a really happy student. The ONE time I heard about her crying at school, besides getting physical hurt, was in gym, when she SO BADLY wanted to get the basketball in the hoop and just couldn’t get it. A hard working, frustrated cry. I get that, too. Before we were done, Laela blew the whistle on me and told her teacher I had just lost a baby, and a couple other before. I saw her teacher wince a little before she snapped back into professional mode. Without missing a beat, she continued her conversation with Laela by saying she had done the same thing, and that it was really really hard. And that was that. Somehow, I loved her response. No shock or gasping or devastation. No reaction beyond having an open discussion with my kid. I LOVED that. The interview wrapped up with Laela showing me where she keeps the stuff she’s currently working on, and with her teacher reassuring me that she couldn’t come up with a concern if she had to. I liked that, too. She’s confident in Laela, as am I. 

I felt so good about the meetings I had that day. To know that both of my children are thriving and succeeding at school thrills my heart. The work we’re putting in is paying off, and my children continue to be taught by good, warm, strong people who care more about the children themselves than the grades they produce. Its just an added bonus that their grades are strong, too. 

I am SO thrilled with the school my children attend. I hope we can stay here forever.

I only resent Brady a little for being younger than me 😘 Only about two months, but still. He’s lucky I still love him. 

I’m obviously being completely sarcastic. Its quite the contrary, in fact. I am so lucky he still loves me. 

Its not been an easy year at all. Its been a beautiful year, but we’ve had our big challenges, and I know I’ve not always been a peach. But that man LOVES me with a fierce husband love, and I know it. 

Maybe about a week ago, I lost my mind in the evening. I. Screamed. At. Everyone. I yelled at each kid, and then I turned, and yelled at my husband. 

*sigh*

IT SUCKED.

I watched him puff up a little, and the deflate, and take it. He watched my eyes while I yelled at him, in front of our kids, and didn’t interrupt or defend himself. Not once. 

I stormed out of there, raving mad, and completely horrified at who I was and what I was doing.  I stormed back in shortly thereafter and started basically shouting an apology. (Ya, it was like a suuuuuper fail, I know.) I finally fizzled into a shaking, weeping mess, and my humble husband wrapped me up and held me while I cried. Because he knew I was struggling, and that I was doing it wrong. All wrong. And he chose to forgive me quickly, because that’s what love is supposed to look like. Love doesn’t look like what I was doing, and I knew that. But I failed, and he still loved me. And continues to. 

Brady, you still give me butterflies. Not even just saying it for the blog. I love when you come home from work, because I love being with you. You’re my best friend! I know we have stretches of struggle but I feel so good with you as my partner in life. You’re just getting better with age ❤️ 

Thank you for taking me as I am, and hearing my heart, even when I fail. I love you so much, with that fierce wifey love.

Happy birthday. Welcome to 31. I’ve been waiting for you. 

By the time I got last weeks blogs out, it had been days since I had my D&C. I figured it would be worth talking about that a little bit more now that I’m about a week out. 

Since I was at the hospital, my body has felt very normal. I occasionally (rarely) have some little cramps, but not many. I’m bleeding a little bit but not much. Everything seems pretty close to back to normal, whatever that is. Nothing hurts. My pregnancy symptoms are all gone. I guess that part hurts. Not physically, but kind of…

I will admit that my hormones are seriously out of whack. I’m working hard on being a level person, and not biting anyones head off, even though I’m sad, but its proving to be a bit of a challenge. Most of that backlash is going towards my kids, unfortunately :/ I love them SO much, and with that, they push me and my buttons more that anyone else. Because they’re kids! Its allowed, but its really challenging these days. Just being honest.

I went to help my mom get thanksgiving food rolling this morning and ended up crying like a baby on her couch about everything that had gone on and hadn’t gone on. About how well loved I was but how lonely I felt. About how the run around and the waiting game just about killed me. About the pain and discomfort and unexpected feelings around every corner. About how my sleep and quality of life have suffered hard. About how the kids are misbehaving and I’m at a loss with how to handle certain situations. About how its stupid winter and I’m not even allowed to have a bath for TWO WEEKS, and I’m freezing 110% of the time. About how MAD I was that aaaaall of these things have so greatly overshadowed what was truly important – the baby I lost. Maybe the BABIES I lost! Frankly, ALL the babies I’ve lost. 

I let down hard and had a big cry. Mom held me and cried, too. It sucked, but it was also great. What is it about a good cry anyway? Its so cleansing, at the very least. 

Post-weep, I feel ok. I’m still sorting out a lot of feelings, but they’re not all from the D&C. I’m still processing our loss and what is meant to come next. I don’t feel we did anything wrong. We followed as we felt led, and here we are, absolutely no further ahead. 

There continues to be waiting ahead, which is something we’re getting great at, apparently. Waiting for my hormone levels to drop completely to zero. Waiting for my cycle to reset. Waiting for my forms for genetic testing to come in the mail, and then waiting a month or so for those results. 

And then what? Do we try again? *shrugs* I guess we’ll WAIT and see.

We were SO well cared for. It seems like an appropriate place as any to share all of the support we received.

I can’t even count the times our close friends came our way with support in ALL kinds of ways, but it was a ton. Beyond them, our church rained their love down on us constantly. 

Krista brought me a gift of cute socks and a yummy bath salt soak.

Yvonne made us a big pot of real chunky chicken noodle sou and two bags of fresh buns. She prayed for us in our entrance.

Damaris came for a morning/afternoon. She brought me a latte and lunch and snacks for the kids. She helped them get their food, and chatted with me about everything – good and bad. 

Connie came with a card, a book, and flowers. We also chatted all through nap time. It was such a relief to have company. 

Kim brought us a HUGE dinner of chicken and broccoli rice. Two big pans, one of which I froze. Alongside that was two days of school lunches for Dekker and Laela, a batch of muffins for breakfasts, and a rice krispie cake. My gosh. 

Damaris brought us pork chops and roasted potatoes, and some fresh fruit. The second meal she had brought us this week. 

Carrie J brought her kids over to play with my kids, and baked a yummy pear loaf at our house.

Karen brought us scalloped potatoes and ham, with cooked carrots and corn that tasted fresh out of the garden. As well, she brought us cupcakes, and even sent a drink for our meal. 

Carrie J and her family took a risk and asked if they could come be with us for supper. They prepared waffles for the kids, and eggs benedict for us. Also fruit salad and juice. We all ate together. It was SO nice.

Carrie O took the last day on the meal train and invited us to join them at their house for a wiener roast, what might be the last fire of the year. Maybe, maybe not. We enjoyed hot dogs, smokies, fresh veggies and fruit, chips, etc. all together. Anne made fresh pie for us to enjoy for dessert. Smores, too 🙂 It was so good to get out of the house with people who we knew we could be ourselves around. 

The love did not stop with the meal train. Yvonne traded us back her soup pot for some fresh crab apple sauce she had made that day. 

Willa brought us a HUGE supper of crispy chicken, rice, carrots, chunky salad, and a BIG pumpkin pie! Along with food, Willa hung out with our kids during a couple of ultrasounds, and always did a few jobs around the house while she was here, whether dishes or folding laundry or whatever else needed doing. She even gave them supper and put them to bed one night. 

Kate and Carrie J shuttled Rowan to and from preschool once or twice.

Nicole sent a huge floral arrangement. 

Sandy bought me a onesie to be cozy in.

Dave and Karen brought us pulled pork, buns, chips, coleslaw, and homemade brownies. And that was after the meal train was long over.

Its funny. The longer it takes me to post this post, the love and gifts continue to pour in. We’ve been gifted with some guilty pleasure treats, as well as some fresh veggies, canning, baking, etc. I do NOT leave this all here in an effort to brag, but for my record, to remember the love we were shown by our community. It is quite something to have so many people recognize our miscarriage as a real loss, not just “something people go through but shouldn’t talk about.” Its huge to my family to have our loss acknowledged and respected by those around us. 

Bottom line. I know this love is being poured on my entire family, but speaking for myself, I couldn’t have done this stretch of time without the amazing amounts of support our family was given. I was reassured by someone that, I didn’t choose this struggle, and I needed to let my family and friends love us and help us. I couldn’t help but say back that my family and friends didn’t ask for us to have this struggle either. No one else has asked us to reproduce. Just us and, we believe God has. No one else should have to be dragged through the mud with us. But it sure helped us feel less crazy and alone. 

So while we suffered and struggled and kicked and screamed in frustration just a little bit (or a lot,) there was bright light around every corner, where people cared for us and lifted us up. What an amazing group of lovely people we have.