Brady and I decided to duck into Saskatoon for a few staple groceries we were lacking. We have barely grocery shopped for ourselves this last year, and that has been incredibly relieving. However, today it needed to happen. We had zero milk and zero fresh crunchy stuff. So, extreme cold warning or not, it was time.
Weather conditions weren’t the ideal, but we weren’t in a rush. Walmart #1 did not have everything we needed, so we had no choice but to venture further into Saskatoon to Walmart #2, inevitably lengthening our time in Saskatoon, resulting in us having to stop to pick up lunch for the little ones.
So we did that, still leaving our shop without a couple of important things, spent more money than we wanted to, and got home late. It was a bit exhausting by the end of it, to be honest. Sometimes I forget I cannot push through everything the way I used to. I have to be smarter.
We got home, and I went in to put the little ones down for naps. Brady backed up to the garage and insisted on unloading some groceries in the garage in an effort to get that door closed up again as soon as possible.
Once kids were tucked, I jogged back to the entrance and got my boots on. Everything was just soaked and freezing. In the garage, I learned that Brady had slipped while getting groceries in. Praise the Lord he didn’t actually fall and hurt himself!! He lost his balance and managed to catch himself, but he dropped a milk, and it split on the handle.
Ok. No big deal. We’ve all had this happen, I am sure of it. Thus began the quick effort to figure it all out. I tried to pick it up and move quickly, but it was just pouring out. So I ran for a couple of glasses and figured we could pour some out right there in the garage. I tried to open the milk and it was instantly all over me. Just messy and sticky and freezing cold. Brady came over and started pouring. But then we needed another glass. Into the house, boots soaking on the entrance floor, up the stairs, grabbed another glass, back down, boots back on, wet feet, in the garage.
We played that game a couple of times. It was just exhausting. Finally, the milk was low enough that I brought it in, wiped if off, and put it in the door. Of course, putting it into the door had it pouring out more. I didn’t even care. I shut the door. So. So. Sooooo over it.
Brady stayed out in the garage and I bawled in my kitchen. I was really angry, but really, about nothing, and I knew it. Its just these funny moments that show up and poke at me, and remind me how much has changed and how alone I feel sometimes.
Please hear what I’m saying simply as honest grief. I’ve had the pleasure of some people suggesting that me sharing openly about struggle is really just an attack or pointing fingers and placing blame. I trust the majority of you can hear my heart on this. If you don’t, please feel free to show yourselves out.
Mark my words. One day we will live in a house where the driveway leads directly into the garage which leads directly to the entrance which leads directly to the house with NO BARRIERS! These days and situations are what fire me up about how badly we need to move.
Yet, we trust God. It is undeniable that He is in control of our lives, as He watches out for us so closely. But goodness. Some days it just hits you like a ton of bricks.
Or like a jug of milk.