My kids like to have what they call “dark parties.” Solly coined the name. It basically means they take any light-up toys and close up in a dark bedroom and “party.” Dark parties usually end in blood, or at least tears and fighting, so they’re outlawed from time to time. With Dekker’s recent birthday, the kids all acquired some new light-up toys, so dark parties were back on.
On a particular day, they all piled into one bedroom for a dark party, and I remembered the last time around had become a bit of a control freaks paradise, or a control freaks worst nightmare. Depends on which control freak is winning, haha! So I figured I’d try to harness some of the crazy before it began.
In this next part, I should be read in a cheesy announcer voice, and the children’s answers were all cloaked in maniacal laughter.
Me: Does this remain to be a positive dark party?
Them: Ya!
Me: ‘Tis important to remember this dark party belongs to each individual member. No party-goer shall tell another party-goer how to party.
Them: Hahaha!
Me: Do all party-goers remain to be happy?
Them: Ya!
Me: (makes eye contact with each kid individually) Do YOU have your grump on?
Each kid: NO!
Me: (stares for awkward three seconds) Carry on!
And then I closed the door on my belly-laughing children.
It was the BEST way we’ve EVER resolved a conflict. It was the BEST way I could’ve made these suggestions to them without anyone needing to defend themselves. It was just AWESOME. I felt really good about it as I left their party and headed to the island to prepare some stuff for lunch.
And maybe fifteen seconds later, their door opened and the kids filed out in an orchestrated fashion and attacked me in the kitchen with a big giggly group hug. We all laughed and hugged and I kissed each of them. And as fast as they showed up, they filed back into the bedroom and continued their dark party.
And I cried in my kitchen. Because I felt such love. Such unprompted, genuine, joyful love. The love you can’t force or count on, but is just SO extra special when it comes along.
Goodness, I love my little people!
Dark parties are so fun!
That was great way to handle potential conflict and so perfectly age appropriate 🙂 In my house, with my slightly older girls, we do a lot of reminders about attitude being a choice. We can’t control everything (like how others around us decide to act) but we can choose our attitude… and that is pretty powerful!
The wording is excellent. I’m learning that as they age. “CHOOSE a better attitude, please.” Feels less like I’m ordering them around all the time, too. And brings up the conversation about fruits of the spirit, too!
That’s a memory to keep forever and ever. You beautiful and sweet children stood up and blessed you. ❤️☀️
I’m so happy it translated well! I thought I wasn’t going to be able to explain why it was special, but it real was. I felt so intentionally blessed.