Today was completely nuts. Brady and I took our morning to be relaxed and have breakfast in bed while Dekker didn’t make a peep until after 11am! However, after that, we had big plans to get lots of things done in preparation for baby girl! The big one was to finish painting the crib. There is one coat of white paint on it, but it for sure needs two. I’m not picky, but its sooo obvious. It rained in the morning, which wasn’t ideal, but there was nothing forecasted for the afternoon. Lucky for us, it started spitting, and spat on and off for a few hours. So instead of waiting around and hoping for the weather to cooperate, we gave up on what we thought was our biggest task and decided to stay in and get some other stuff done.

Being that baby will sleep in our room for a solid few weeks if not a couple of months, we wanted to get her cradle up and in place. Our room is not the tidiest part of our home, to say the least, so we thought it would be nice to start there, get our room nice and clean, and set up the cradle and change table so we could really start to see her fit into our space.  Turns out, she isn’t going to fit. Or she wouldn’t have if we didn’t spend over THREE HOURS on our room!

 

This wasn’t even the very beginning. We were probably a half hour in at this point. No, stuff isn’t usually piled up on our bed, but its all over the floor. It was completely atrocious. But amazingly worth it to have it looking better those hours later!

 

So its not perfect, but its a significant step up! My bedside table is still somehow overflowing with stuff from when we brought Dekker home from the hospital, so that could use some help. And we need to sweep again, since we swept and then did some dusting and uprooting. Not the smartest on our part, but the floor was horrendous so it seemed to need a lot of attention immediately.

Another fun accomplishment that some people might laugh at us for is installing the car seat! I’ve been anticipating it for so long!!! I know its early, but everyone, I’m 37 weeks today 🙂 FULL TERM! So if she wants to be born, I want to bring her home. Anytime!

 

The current plan is to have the kids side by side, but we’ll see. Its a small car and they don’t fit too nicely this way. Don’t get me wrong, they’re both ridiculously secure, but its really hard to click the bucket into place because it knocks against the armrest of the other seat. But it works for now anyway. So Brady did that while I vacuumed the food out of the backseat.

While all of this was getting done, we were also juggling a toddler and doing…I’m gonna say maybe 6-7 loads of laundry. So we kept nice and busy! We could really get to work when Deks napped but then we had to be extra quiet so it was at a slower speed. Not ideal, but we clearly got stuff done. It felt amazing.

We even made a SUPER delicious supper of pizza buns, which Dekker devoured, and then he and I went downstairs to do some more laundry while Brady started building a ledge onto our new dresser/change table. We bought it a few months ago and while its just about perfect, the change pad slides around like crazy. So that got done and Brady is currently putting the first coat of paint on. Yes, its 9:30pm. But it has to at least get started! And its such a small area to paint, he’s just painting it right in the kitchen and it’ll be dry by morning.

After all of these successful feelings, not ONE THING is crossed off my list of jobs to complete before baby comes >:( I find this borderline infuriating. We worked like dogs. I’m so thankful my pelvis isn’t sore today because my legs are about to die and I need all the help I can get from my body! The day has been a complete whirlwind, and now that its mostly over and we should be able to fall into our easy routine of snacks and a bath, instead our washing machine is smelling like electricity and we can’t wash our diapers. Instead of a few silent moments of playing cell phone games, Brady is painting. We didn’t get to sit on the deck and listen to the sprinkler water our garden. We worked. I like these successful days, and like someone mentioned to me on Facebook, I should just add all these tasks to my list so I can cross them off! But I feel frustrated that we didn’t do more, or maybe that we didn’t do more important things. I really don’t know what else we could have done! I should really focus on that side of things I suppose.

Or better yet, focus on bigger victories! Dekker didn’t fight his patch once today! He wasn’t happy either time we had to apply one, but he would lay still and wait for it to be over. He would whimper a little, but he would obediently stay still until it was done. I’m really hoping that this is the start of him getting used to it. I mean, its Saturday, and his first day in patches was Tuesday. So I’d say this is something to be very proud of!! He was so happy this afternoon, and I tried to get him to come over and take pictures with me like we often do, but he seemed nervous when he saw himself in the camera. He shook his head and ran away from me. Breaks my heart 🙁 At the end of the day, he gets his nighttime cuddles eyepatch free, and I can tell that he’s bothered right in the beginning, trying to figure out how to see again, but he gets there after a few minutes and seems to come around. I love him desperately.

As Brady just pointed out, I’ve been writing for quite some time. Its clearly been a big day around here, and I wonder if that is just playing into my emotions, making me feel like I’ve failed somehow. I’m thinking that should be my cue to wrap things up and call it a night.

*Pulls curtain*

My Hailey came for a visit today with her kids. She’s gotten into the wonderful habit of bringing me my drink – an earl grey tea with two cream and two sugars from Tims – and she even brought along food for lunch, which was a total surprise, but I welcomed it!

She was very patient with Dekker’s attitude, and while he’s had better days playing with other kids, he did quite well considering the challenge of not having his full sight. I made a point of getting him up before they arrived this morning. I’ll clarify, he was awake, but just chatting quietly. I often give him a bit more time on his own before getting him up, but since I know how much he dislikes his patch being put on, I figured we could do the whole screaming bit before friends arrived. He did ok with the application this morning. He wasn’t screaming or fighting or thrashing like on day one, but he had this sad, nervous, “not again, ok, mom?” look on his face that broke my heart. I held it together while I stuck the patch on but had a little cry with him afterwards. I hate it too, man. On the upside, his cries after putting on (or taking off) his patch are shortening. Also, the little bit of redness around his eye is going down! So like I’ve said in recent posts, small victories. He was settled into eat breakfast when Hailey and the kids showed up.

We had a really good afternoon, I would say. Three out of the four kids had naps, so with that as a completely valid excuse, the house stayed relatively quiet. The littlest one of the group, Zaden, hasn’t been sleeping well these days, especially away from home. It didn’t help that our house was ridiculously hot today and we could NOT get the heat under control. Baby Z was stripped down to a diaper and Hailey made him a bottle while I bounced him like mad, trying to settle him until his milk came. As soon as it was mixed I put his bottle in his mouth. He’s an independent kid and is fine to drink his milk on his own, but he just lay on my shoulder and sucked it back. I miss that SO much! So I held him for a little bit until we were both overheating.  I lay him down on the floor and moments later…

He was sooo peaceful!! He slept that way for probably a half hour-ish until one of the others woke up and we started moving around, packing them up to head home. He was pretty subdued.

Once they left, I lay in bed and caught up on some YouTube videos and rested the belly for a bit. I’m not super sore today, but I fell asleep with some light but painful contractions, and woke up with them as well. So I’m going to be extra nice to baby girl tonight. Brady came home a bit later than usual but nothing too crazy, so we had a suuuper delicious summer meal of fries, chicken strips, and raw carrots. Dekker LOVED those carrots today!  I may have to pick up some more tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the first day in a while that nothing is really planned and Brady and I are home together! However, as I mentioned, we need to grocery shop, pretty badly actually. Not that we’re out of food, but we’re out of a few necessities. So we may all spend the morning together, and when Deks goes down for a nap, Brady will go paint the second coat on the crib and I may head to Saskatoon to grocery shop.

Or maybe we’ll put it off one more day and duck into Saskatoon on Sunday afternoon… Who knows.

Cookie dough and a bath. Sooo ready!

If you want real details on the actual golf game, talk to Brady. Today was the day Daytona Homes took all their trades, suppliers, real estate agents, etc. to the Willows for golf. I had originally planned to go but being that Dekker was only on his third day of wearing an eye patch, I couldn’t fathom leaving him with anyone without me. Maybe it sounds silly, or like I can’t let him go somehow, but he comes with a few challenges right now. Nothing too crazy, and he’s improved like crazy from his first day!!! But even just general things, like his depth perception sucks. He falls a lot more and runs into things. And then if he falls and gets hurt at all, he takes it MUCH harder. He’s just quite a bit more hands on, and I didn’t feel like it was fair to leave him with anyone for too long on their own. So I spent the afternoon with him and my mom. We ran a few errands in the city  before heading back to Dalmeny and having lunch. Dekker went down for a nap at that point, and about an hour later my dad arrived home a bit early to tag team with my mom so I could attend the dinner with Brady in the evening.

I got there just a few minutes early, but seriously, the Willows is completely across the city. But I got there without getting lost, and Brady had waited for me outside the main clubhouse to show me where to go. I was pretty much SUPER outnumbered. There were very few ladies, as most tradesmen brought their second in command. But Brady is his only guy, so I came instead! It worked out actually. I had a lot of fun, and liked our table. We sat with a mixture of trades, and at least a few of the guys made a point to be super polite to me and interested in our life. Obviously, I’m looking QUITE pregnant so the family men took interest and asked questions. Its nice that people asked.

Dinner started at 6pm and was surprisingly wrapped up by 7:30pm. We stayed and visited a little while longer, but then headed out together. We stopped for Starbucks on the drive home, and took the scenic route. No big rush, as we figured Dekker would have slept until 7 or 7:30 anyway, and my parents would have been disappointed if we sniped him too soon. We arrived at their place around 9pm and visited for around an hour before leaving. Poor Dekker. He was happy to go walk around outside and to the car but was very sad to leave. He screamed a LOT, which was a big challenge for Brady and I. While Dekker isn’t allowed to scream and we’re working tirelessly to kick that habit, we also recognize that his last three days have been super challenging, and not only that, but it was 10:30 by the time we got home, and he’s often in bed around 8pm.

I cried when he went to bed. The last three nights, I’ve kissed him goodnight, and he tastes like salt. My boy has cried so much these last three days, and bedtime is really hard for him as well, so he cries a lot at bedtime. We got him some better patches today though, so I’m hoping those bug the skin around his eye a little less. They definitely pull off easier so thats hopeful! I have hope for this situation, I really do. I just wish he wasn’t so sad 🙁 My son is the epitome of joy. Its sad to see him struggle.

But again, today was better than yesterday. Hoping things keep looking up!

As long as they’re looking from the left eye…

I think “Patches” could be an endearing nickname for Dekker at this point, but I’m not sure I’m quite ready for it yet.

Day #2 went somewhat better than day #1. Different dynamics right? Putting it on first thing in the morning was definitely the worst part of the day. He was so mad at me while I struggled to get it on his face. However, he cried for a shorter period of time afterwards. Small victories, I suppose. He ate a good breakfast before our friends arrived for their visit. We are sooo blessed to have friends who recently went through a very similar situation with their kids. Their story resulted in surgery, and they went through the wandering eyes and patching first as well. They are a wealth of information and even better, very supportive in prayer and general concern. So my friend and her three kids came to play/snack/talk about our situations and trade information. I’m pretty sure I had nothing new for her but she had tons of tips for me! Even down to the patches themselves. I asked at the Walmart pharmacy for kids patches and she showed me the box. I confirmed that they were for kids, and she said “Yup, there’s only one size.” LIES! My friend left a few of the patches her boys wear to try for the next day or two, and told me where she gets them. I can tell you 100% that we will be purchasing a box of those tomorrow. When Deks got up from his nap and I had to put a fresh patch over his eye, I used one of hers, and they fit sooo much better! He didn’t fight the power even close to as much, his glasses fit better overtop of the patch, and it pulled off much easier than the ones we had been using before. I didn’t have the heart to take a picture, but he has big red bits around his eye 🙁 Not like allergic reaction redness, but angry stop-sticking-stickers-to-my-face redness. Plus, because the original ones we had were so big and fit too far onto his nose, his glasses didn’t sit right and now he has a big bruise where the one nose pad rests. Sigh. Definitely feels like we’ve already failed somehow. Yet when I look at our situation honestly, I’m not sure how much better we could be expected to do on our second day! I was sooo thankful to have my girlfriend over, and that she had experience in all of this.

Its weird, because as some of you know, I had very similar issues as a child. I was crossed eyed from birth, patched, surgeried, all that good stuff. But I was waaay too young to remember anything, and hot to age myself completely, but technology has come a long way since then. Its nice to have people to relate to who have been through all of this recently. It helps.

That was kind of a haphazard retelling of the day, I suppose. Our friends stayed until about 1pm and Dekker was awake for only 45 minutes before going down for his nap. When he did, I made myself some egg salad. I rarely actually prepare a meal for myself at lunch, but my doctor freaked me out a little bit saying there was protein in my urine, so I figured I’d be good and try a little harder. A tall glass of orange juice later, I was more than ready to eat my eggs. But halfway through my food, my stomach took and unexpected turn, and I had to choke back some VERY unexpected vomit. Pretty unhappy about that whole thing. I blame it on my new iron supplement. I’ve never had to take one before, so this being my first day, I didn’t know the “take with food” rule applied. Pretty sure thats all that was, but it ticked me off. I told Brady what had happened and he responded by saying he was already on the road! So I lay in bed watching YouTube videos until he got home. My favorite new find is just a shorty, but worth the watch!

When he came home, I got Dekker up from his nap, stuck his new patch on, and we came out to see daddy. Brady made me some soup for supper. I had requested it, even though its sooo hot outside. But I ate the whole thing, and probably an entire sleeve of crackers. After dinner, Deks seemed more himself that he has the last two days. He desperately wanted to go outside. So we did. He raced around the deck and kicked a soccer ball and rearranged our chairs and had an absolute blast! It was hard to come inside and go to bed, but he hasn’t made a sound since he went down which is always a good sign.

Best he’s rested up for tomorrow! He’s coming into Saskatoon with us to drop Brady off for a golf game, and then to Grandma’s house we go for the afternoon! Lucky boy he is! Looking forward to taking him somewhere that makes him sooo happy tomorrow!

Firstly, I just have to say that I was trying to come up with a play on words for an update on Dekker. Dekker date was my main contender, but that is just what I call a date with Dekker. So then I was thinking an up-Dekker, but that made me think of an upper decker which is a mean thing that people do to people’s toilet tanks, so I opted for a more boring title. Deal with it.

Secondly, I want to thank everyone for their warmth and concern yesterday. I’m sorry if I didn’t respond to your comment on here, Facebook, or a private message you sent. I don’t want to seem dramatic, but I was very broken yesterday. Why should my baby, at such a young age, have to adjust to yet another miserable fact of life?! I was somewhat devastated and didn’t have the energy to respond and thank everyone separately. Know I’m thankful though, please. Your prayers actually made a big difference. I’ll tell you about that in a minute. But seriously, last night was just too big of a night for me. I couldn’t even bring myself to re-read my post like always. I’m trying, guys.

After Dekker’s appointment, we went to my parents house to talk to my mom about the news and basically so I could have a good cry. Brady has had the better part of the last two weeks at home with us. He also had yesterday off, so he could come to the appointment and be part of that. But today, the day Dekker was to begin patching, Brady was back to work. I was terrified. I bawled to my mom about how scared I was to try and start that process on my own. I don’t have enough hands to hold both of his arms down, hold his head while he flails, and put the patch on properly. My mom was sooo understanding and encouraged me very much by saying that I didn’t need to rush! He had gone two years without a patch. A few more days would be ok. She basically assured me that if I just chose to wait until Saturday to start so Brady could be home to support us, that it would be ok and would not make or break Dekker’s vision in the long run. She was right. I made the decision right there with my mom and my husband that we would wait until the weekend. As the evening pressed on, I was more sold on the choice I had made. For my own sanity, we would wait.

And the prayers poured in. They must have. Because I felt a bit stronger. Maybe a bit more confident. I decided to give a patch a try. Just once. And if he fought hard enough that I couldn’t get it on him, then we’d just wait. But I knew I could try. So when I heard him start squealing in the morning, I went to his room and got him up for the day. We had a full day planned and I was very comfortable in my decision to stop if it didn’t work today. We did his stuff in order in his room – diaper change, clothing change, and then glasses. So when he was all dressed, I quickly lay him back down and just tried to go good and quick and get his patch on. Not being exactly a pro at this yet, I fumbled around clumsily, while he started thrashing around. I got it partially on, but it was folded and wrinkled and awful. I held him for a moment while he finally composed himself and stopped trying to tear it off. By then, however, the patch was in pretty rough shape. So I pulled it off. He hated that almost as much,

It would appear I am a sucker for punishment. I went for it a second time. A little different this time though. I gave him the box of the patches to play with, and told him what we were going to do. Of course, he still did everything in his power to stop me from putting the patch on, but every time he lifted his hand up, I lay it back down, and eventually he gave in. 

Well he wailed. He was sooo upset. I was amazed that thing even stayed on through all of those big crocodile tears. He was just screaming away. I walked him out into the dining room but he didn’t want to be put down just yet. Meanwhile our plumber was coming out of our basement and at his first glimpse of Dekker, he looked concerned and asked what happened to his eye. I explained to him our situation and he was genuinely compassionate. He spoke to Dekker and said that his mommy and daddy were making good decisions for him. I could have hugged him. Not only was he silently encouraging us, but he was also taking Dekker’s mind off of the new situation he was in. Once he had left, Dekker was ready to eat. I gave him his banana right away, which seemed to help settle him too.

Once he was done eating, I asked if he wanted to go play toys downstairs. I figured that would be his best option since its his normal routine. He was very happy with the idea. He didn’t want to go down the stairs on his own though, and I don’t blame him. I would be scared too. So I carried him down. Once he saw his toys, he squirmed to go down. As we had done when he was getting used to his glasses, I immediately went to grab some toys to occupy him. It seems like kids always get into the most trouble when they’re bored, right? So I figured constant entertainment would be our best bet. I went and grabbed his two drumsticks and encouraged him to come over and play his drum. And he BURST our crying. He sat down on his bum and just let fly. He was sooo overwhelmed. So instead of toys, we just had a cuddle. A big, drooly, crying, shrucking cuddle. My poor boy.

As I’ve said in the recent past, I can’t hold him for very long anymore. So before my body gave out, I sat down on the couch with him in my arms. He stayed very close for probably a solid half hour. Gradually, he moved to sitting normally on my lap, then on my lap with a toy, then in front of the couch, and then he went off to play. It was just a very strange thing to observe. He was up for hours before he talked at all. I finally got one “roar” out of him but otherwise, he wouldn’t say any of his words, make any of his sounds, or even come for a kiss. And his mom really needed a kiss 🙁 He was very hesitant, and I can’t blame him. Every little biff was way scarier. He took everything much harder. it was just plain tough.

It didn’t help that I had a doctors appointment right over his normal nap time. But again, I decided we’d just go with it and see how it all played out. I figured we’d start out with the patch and not put any big pressure on if it just needed to come off. So I got him all ready to go, and got myself ready to go as well while he had lunch. Minutes after getting on the road, he was out cold.

That boy was WIPED OUT! Can’t blame him.

We met up with Brady on the outskirts of the city and drove in to the appointment together. I’m 36 weeks and a few days, which puts me up to the point for the last few tests they want to take before I’m officially full term on Saturday. They checked my urine and my blood. No biggie. Unlike my pregnancy with Dekker where everything was flawless basically, my blood test revealed that I’m right on the edge of my hemoglobin being low. They like to see over 100 in pregnant women and I’m 101 so just barely there. So I’ll take iron. No big deal. Also, she said there was a touch of protein in my urine. She said it wasn’t enough to be afraid of the usual things, but suggested that maybe I hadn’t eaten enough that day. She asked, and I realized that I hadn’t eaten all day! My entire day had been focused around entertaining and occupying Dekker, and I hadn’t made time for eating in there at all! So she told me to make sure I ate more snacks and to be a bit more careful, because my body was starting to digest and expel protein. However, she also understood that I’m not in starvation mode or anything, but I’m looking out for Dekker. It was good to get the reminder though that I have another little one to look out for, and that involves eating. So while those answers weren’t perfect, I did learn that baby’s head is fully engaged and ready to go! So no more risk of her flipping around or anything scary like that. My doctor says its a really good sign that she fits well in my body and bodes well for a smooth delivery, which I was happy to hear. She is frightfully low, but if I remember correctly, they don’t exactly just fall out when they’re fully cooked. Takes a bit more effort that I am more than happy to make! All things considered about that appointment, I was pretty happy with my answers. Can’t wait for her arrival!

After the appointment, we headed to the grocery store to grab a few things, and then went to Hailey’s place. Her super artistic friend, Viona, wanted to try her hand at belly painting and, surprise surprise!, I have quite the canvas! So we all enjoyed a SUPER delicious supper of scalloped potatoes, ham, and hot veggies before getting to the painting. She painted on me while Brady got Dekker up from his nap and got him fed. It took both of us to get his new patch on. He was not impressed with the idea at all. But same as in the morning, once it was on he left it alone and ate his supper. He played with the puppy and Haileys boys, and Brady even took all three kids downstairs for playtime. Thanks, my love! The three of us ladies just sat upstairs and talked about babies, marriage, life, sex, and caddy girl things 🙂 I loved it. I’m feeling a bit choked that I didn’t ask what Viona’s business name is 🙁 but guys, my tummy came out looking sooo pretty!

 

So there’s a little empty spot on the one side. It was intentional. We put baby girls name there after the picture was taken 🙂 As if you can all know already!! No offence, but no. 

Once all was said and done, it was about 9:15, so we bailed out. We still had to go get Bradys van, which I had forgotten about. I’m always so sad when I can’t drive home with my husband late at night. But it worked out. Dekker slept the whole way home, which was a huge relief considering how loud our drives are on good days, much less the super challenging ones like today. 

Dekker went to bed pretty hard. He cried a lot and once his patch was off, he seemed further confused and couldn’t figure out how to focus on anything. I”m not going to lie. I’m glad today is over on that level, yet I’m worried tomorrow will be worse. However, we will be home tomorrow. Some of our friends are coming over which will be a nice way to keep occupied and honestly, I can always use company. But at least Dekker will be in a familiar place with his familiar toys and will be able to be at peace to a degree anyway.

Please keep the prayers pouring in. We definitely still need them. All of us.

Our day started out really well. Dekker slept in like crazy, and we got him up around noon so we could leave for Saskatoon at 12:30 and be a tad early for our appointment at 1:30. It was one of those mornings where we sort of just put him in his hair chair and checked in on him once in a while, but we were moving around and getting ready while he ate. He was eating very quietly all on his own while I did my makeup in the bathroom. I poked my head out at one point to check on him and he just looked up innocently and inquired “Nana?” He’s never asked for something that way before, and I was so pleased 🙂 Of course he can have his banana! Heck, the kid can have fifteen bananas today if he wants!

We got on the road at the right time, got to the hospital ten minutes early, got registered, got to the waiting room, and only waited about five minutes before we got into the first chunk of our appointment. It was all the preliminary tests done by a student and her supervisor. Dekker did sooo well during the tests! He had done pretty well last time as well, but this was a definite improvement, just in the way that he tolerated all the annoyances of having things thrust in front of his eyes and then taken away, the tv across the room being flicked on and off, and not being able to actually hold the toys they dangled in front of his face. I was sooo impressed! The only time he cried was when they would put a patch over one eye to test the other on its own. But who really enjoys that?? No one, thats who. I answered all of her questions, and she liked my answers. He liked books more since the glasses. He was less afraid of people. His speech has sky rocketed. He doesn’t fight the glasses at all. It all sounded good. However, I could tell that some of the tests she was running were resulting similarly, if not the same as last time he had them done two months ago. We dealt mostly with the one student but she brought her supervisor in towards the end and he reran a few of the tests. When they were done, he said that his eye doctor would confirm things in a few minutes but that Dekker’s eyes have not improved. At least the turn has not. If anything, its gotten a little worse. The supervisor described him as a likely “surgical case.” BUT, he said, Dr Rubab would look behind his eyes and see if the issue could maybe be solved by a stronger prescription. So they sent us back out to the waiting area.

I have to say, a big part of me was already choked. But I didn’t panic. I just breathed and gave Dekker a snack. We read a book and a few short minutes later, we were called into the second exam room to see his doctor. I was quite impressed with how quick everything went, since I think we all expect things to run behind in the health care system, especially at the hospital. But it was very quick. Dr. Rubab didn’t run too many tests. Only one or two exercises in, she was commenting that really, there was no positive change at all. If anything, his eyes were definitely choosing a favorite now, making the left eye much weaker than the right. She decided we should now patch Dekker’s right eye underneath his glasses in an effort to make the left one work a little harder. We are to do this for two months, every waking moment of Dekker’s day. Our appointment at that point will see if the effort has made any difference. But she was very straight forward with us and said that he will most likely be put up for surgery at that point.

My heart is very heavy about the whole thing, even though I know the risks will be minimal and I will have SO much support and love and prayers. I just still need the peace, and the strength for my kid and the rest of my family.

This is really all I have the energy to write right now. Dekker hasn’t napped all day and is a wild handful, if I’m being honest. So I’m going to go help Brady with that, and have supper before we put Dekker to bed. Please continue to pray for my family.

My parents, Brady, and I lead music at church this morning. We arrived at church at 9am and went through the set with the sound guy, and church started at 10am. I actually felt pretty good about how it played out this morning! Some worship sets go smoother than others, depending on lots of different things, like the size of the crowd or the time of year. But it was really smooth and people seemed to appreciate the songs we picked. Yay! I, however, was horribly uncomfortable. Like I mentioned in my last post, I’m very sad to realize that I do have more limitations than I thought I did, and I can’t do all that I wish I could do these days. But who would have ever thought I could barely tolerate sitting at the piano?! Not I. We played only one song while everyone was still kind of finding their spot, and in that one song, I became super light headed and dizzy. I survived (obviously) and made it through the main set of 4-5 songs as well. I stayed in the service as long as I could, but that lasted just a few minutes. I couldn’t sit and breathe at the same time. I started to get very dizzy and needed to either elevate my legs or get my head between my legs. Having a belly and wearing a dress makes these moves super difficult. So I retreated to the back room of the church often reserved for nursing mothers, and commandeered a recliner to try and get some relief. It worked out ok anyway, better than the wooden bench. I went back into the service for the last song, and we bailed pretty quickly after that. I wasn’t super impressed with my body. It seems to be giving up. Its hard to not compare my pregnancies constantly. My last pregnancy, I never felt any of this! Yet I went into this one MUCH better at pushing myself, being physically stronger and in better shape than I was last time, yet, I can’t sit up, play piano, and sing at the same time?! How fair is that!! Sounds pretty lightweight if you ask me!

We went for lunch at my parents after church. Luckily, we were having hot dogs and chips, which is a great meal for boosting my blood pressure, and that tends to help with the lightheadedness quite a bit! It was super delicious, and I ate a ton. Dekker did too, almost to a yucky point. But he was thrilled with all his options, so why not?! However, when he was done eating and playing toys, he started getting into that screechy place. He would shriek about just about anything. He and I have a pretty good understanding so I told him that if he needed to scream, he needed to go have quiet time by himself. He let up on the screaming a bit and I let him keep playing. But when it started to rise back up again, I said maybe he needed a sleep. Well he BURST out crying! That was that. He was so sad to be carried away from his toys and family, but when I brought him to his crib and asked for a kiss, he gave me one without any hesitation, and leaned for his bed. And slept the next three hours away.

While he slept, my dad slept. And I slept, but mine was by accident. Loving the accidental naps these days! Brady finished up the end of the work on the computer, and my mom chose songs for music since we’re up again in two weeks. I woke up after my shorty nap (since I had just dozed off on the living room couch) and we visited until the boys woke up. We had a quick and delicious supper of turkey soup before heading off to our house. Something in our laundry room is leaking and being that we’ve never had this probably before and my dad has repaired his laundry machines multiple times, we recruited my parents to come along so dad could help Brady figure it out. Mom and I talked about the new baby and played with Dekker while the men worked. Lucky for us, they found the problem and its an easy fix! Unlucky for us, nothing is open here past 7pm on a weekend so my washer is pulled apart until tomorrow morning. Let’s hope our local Co-op has the right size of clamp in the morning! Diaper laundry will have to wait too.

When the work was done and Dekker was in bed, we pulled out the ice cream and had sundaes on the deck. It was peaceful and delicious. The bugs started biting around 9pm so my parents took that as their cue to leave. Bye guys! We are now home, with the bath running, and the fans going. However, we’re already relatively cooled off from being outside, which is super refreshing. I’m feeling good. Tired, and quite sore in the ribs and pelvis, but good.

***

Tomorrow is Dekker’s follow-up appointment with his eye specialist. Its in the early afternoon. I thought 12:30 but I’m thinking its actually 1:30. Who knows. I’ll call in the morning. But if my praying friends could do me the honour of praying for Dekker tonight, I would personally really appreciate it. My anxious mother heart is struggling to keep calm and trust God that his eyes are improving. Especially if Gods answer is that they aren’t supposed to improve just yet. I’m not sure how I would handle that right now. Peace would be good to have.

This morning Brady went out and played an early round of golf with my dad. It was a $5 course to be paid on the honor system 🙂 I love small towns. He was back home around 11am, and since Dekker was still sleeping, we made croissants and watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother. Deks woke up around noon, so I got to duck into his room and give him a quick kiss before I hit the road for my part of the day!

I shopped!!! I had only four places to go and I had big plans to enjoy myself 🙂 I brought lists and plans and got all cute before I left so I could feel like a human and everything! Makeup on, new music on my phone, cold water bottle in the car, and lists. Sooo ready!

I started at Bath and Body Works. This weekend the deal was “Buy 2 get 2 FREE!” I had a gift card going into it, so I headed there first and just started picking things to my hearts content. Lucky for me, Jerilee was working and helped me as something of a “personal shopper.” Yes, I am kidding. But I’m also somewhat brainless these days and couldn’t get my head around the “buy 2” part of the rule. I thought it was just “buy 1 get 1 free” but not so much. It was confusing to me. So she helped, and added up all my totals so I could make my shopping trip worth while. After gift cards and the sale, I spent $21 out of pocket and got sooo much stuff!

Thats nine soaps, two lotions, and five candles. And only two of these items aren’t pumpkiny. Kitchen Lemon soap, and Meyer Lemon lotion. Yum!

I hauled my bags out to the car before continuing through the mall to Target. I really wanted to buy everything we need still for baby girls arrival, and I figured Target would be a good place to start. And I did ok actually! Didn’t get everything I wanted, but I found her a blanket for cuddling, some socks, tights on uber-sale, and some long sleeved diaper shirts.

Not going to lie. This blanket was probably my favorite purchase of the day. Its sooo soft and the animals are adorable. I wish you could see the fox better in this photo but I haven’t pulled everything apart yet.

I was pretty annoyed at myself at Target though. I was fading fast!!! And it was only my second place! I reminisced with Brady later in the day about how, towards the end of my pregnancy with Dekker, I was super annoyed at being treated like an invalid, and how I didn’t take people’s concern and care as what it was. Instead I was frustrated that people would think I couldn’t do things! But this time around, it seems I have a few more limitations 🙁 Just a hard realization for me, even though its perfectly just. Hard truth.

I pressed on, however, to Walmart. I needed to look for a few things that I couldn’t find at Target, plus there were a few grocery things on my list that I figured I could pick up there without having to hit a grocery store yet. Fun surprise for me was that Jerilee got off work early! So…

Spontaneous company!!! Ya, we’re freaks.

I actually had really good luck at Walmart, and got everything except one item there. I only splurged and got a couple of things that weren’t on the list, and didn’t break the bank, which is always a plus.

From there, Jerilee and I went our separate ways. To Costco for me!

All I needed at Costco were three things – bread, toilet paper, and these great sucker-inner tank tops called “Fat Free Dressing.” Witty, right? I thought having a couple on hand would be really smart for after baby comes. Jelly belly can, and still use all the help it can get! The tank tops were $20, which is actually more than I tend to spend on shirts, haha! So I only bought one. If it rocks, I’ll just go back quickly after baby is born. Or send someone else, haha! I got bread too, but they didn’t have our toilet paper. So that will have to wait for another day I suppose. But I still did awesome, in my opinion!

I came home completely wiped out and horribly sore. I wore my support belt all day long and still came out hobbling 🙁 It makes me sad but I suppose I should be thankful that my body is getting sooo ready to give me my baby girl. It helped that I came home to PROGRESS!

 

We bought this beautiful crib from a garage sale. It was a light wood color but all the furniture in Dekker’s room is white, so we wanted to paint it to match the scheme of things. By “we,” I mean I wanted it painted, and I didn’t want to paint it. I was very upfront about that when we found it. I told Brady that we needed to find a white one because I knew I wasn’t going to have the gumption to paint it, and he assured me he would. And he did! At least he got a good start on it. First coat. I have no doubt it’ll be finished this week, and hopefully even in the room so Dekker can get used to the new layout before we actually throw a baby in there too!

Hmmm…on that note, I wonder if its too early to put in the other car seat. I’m pretty sure we had it in at this point with Dekker, but maybe thats overkill? What did you guys do?

 

I got to spend the day with my Hailey again, as well as her boys and one of her daycare kids. They all made the trek out to our place, which I really appreciated. I’ve spent a decent amount of time away from home lately and while its all been great and I’ve enjoyed being busy, its nice for Dekker to have his usual place to nap and things like that. They all arrived around 10am and even brought me my tea from Tim Hortons! We visited while the kids played for about 45 minutes, until it was time for the one little girl to go down for a nap. As per usual, it was so nice to just lay low with Hailey and get in a solid chat. Eventually everyone needed to eat so we hunkered back upstairs for some lunch.

It feels weird to talk about these dates because I swear, it sounds like I refuse to entertain guests. All we ever do is visit! But we’re really great friends! We like to catch up and talk about our lives. Its nice to have input and support. I think my guests would stop coming if they were super bored. Am I right? I think so.

Besides spending time with my girlfriend, Dekker had a great time with the other kids. He was a little bit shy, and liked to stick pretty close to me, but he squealed with delight and pointed at the other kids like crazy. He was fully entertained in a really happy way, which made me happy. Hailey even pointed out how his behaviour around the other kids had improved like crazy since he got his glasses, which made me feel good. Dekker has his follow-up appointment for his eyes next week and I’ve been starting to get anxious about it. If I’m honest, I really do feel like we’re on the right track with his glasses, but if all of a sudden his eyes aren’t improving like I think they are, we go into scarier places for reasons of why his eyes crossed so fast. But I’m really trying not to go there, and having others point out things like his behavioural changes makes me feel good, and a bit more confident.

The kids all did great, and I was genuinely sad to see them go mid-afternoon. However, our house was hot and I was a bit sore, so I spent the rest of the afternoon laying in bed, listening to music and planning my day tomorrow. I won’t see much of Brady but he’s taking off for the morning to go play a round of golf, and I’m going to leave in the afternoon and head to Saskatoon on my own for a quick shop, which I’m really looking forward to. So I was organizing where I need to go and what I’m looking for. Yes, I’ve completely lost my mind and I need to list like that!

I also did some research on my last ultrasound that I had done a week or two ago. My doctor printed off a copy for me, which I had never thought to ask for before. There were a few things on it that I didn’t understand, being that I’m not an ultrasound technician. So I looked some stuff up online and learned the lengths of all sort of parts of my baby instead of the usual response of “she’s measuring normal.” I know there is give and take on these scans, so I don’t claim that the numbers are perfect, but the one that blew me away what her head circumference. 31cm. Dekker’s head was 39cm, which is pretty humongous, but I bet babies are often born with the head circ of 31cm! All her lengths made sense, and her weight is a perfectly petite but healthy birthweight! I love knowing those stats on her. Makes it seem so much more real!

Such a great day, and big anticipation for tomorrow!

Dekker and I both had doctors appointments booked today. We headed to the city to make his 11am checkup. It was his OFFICIAL two year checkup, which I was completely excited about. I know, its a little silly, but I’m all for celebrating all the little milestones.

Lucky for us, my doctor noticed ahead of time that Dekker and I were booked for appointments two hours apart, and thought it was a little bit silly. So she offered to consolidate our appointments, which we happily accepted. She checked him all over first and confidently said she had zero concerns about him whatsoever. Everything she asked, we answered completely honestly and she was very happy with our answers. He hasn’t gained much weight at all, but she commented that he clearly isn’t wasting away 🙂 True that. He fought having his throat checked but other than that, he did great. She did my appointment next, and answered all my questions. My blood pressure was perfect, baby’s heart rate was in the 150s which is great, and in the last two weeks, I’ve only gained two pounds! I fully expect to still gain a bit towards the end here, since thats pretty common, but so far I’ve gained 32 pounds altogether and by the end of my pregnancy with Dekker I had gained 45. So as long as I don’t gain 13 pounds in the next 4.5 weeks, I’m going in ahead! Lastly, when she checked my stomach to see baby’s position, she could just find the back of her next, meaning she’s nice and low and probably engaged, ready for delivery! She’ll check that out a bit more thoroughly next week but things are looking to be going swimmingly at this point. I’m so relieved that she is in a good position, even though her dropping means more pelvic pain for me. Dr. Guselle was very happy to see me using the belt Dr. Mike had asked me to wear. I’m happy about it too!

Getting to be done with the doctor way sooner than we expected, we went and grabbed some lunch and brought a coffee over to Hailey on our way out. We spent the rest of the day at my parents, trying to get their computer up and running. Its amazing how those updates just come out of nowhere!!! Sooo many updates! But Brady is awesome and patient and worked tirelessly at it! Meanwhile, Dekker slept a full 3.5 hours of the afternoon away without making a sound! We all had such a nice afternoon together, Brady working on the computer and playing cell phone games in between, and mom cutting the dead out of her flowers while I tanned nearby. Pure relaxation.

Its always nice to be home though. Dekker is already completely quiet in bed, Brady and I have tidied up a little bit in the living room, and now I’m doing this and trying to decide what I’m hungry for. I LOVE late night snack time. Brady and I only ever snack this badly when I’m pregnant 🙂 Its a perk.

Looking forward to tomorrow!!! Hailey and her kids are coming over for the day to play! It’ll be nice to have some company. I’m getting nice and used to having Brady around, but he’s working tomorrow. So I’m super thankful that I’ll have some people in my house and voices in the background.

But first, I’ll sleep. And probably eat barbecue chips. No judging!!