The Daily Hailey

It was bound to happen sooner or later.

While we have still mostly managed to dodge the questions about how the baby gets in there (a piece of mommy, a piece of daddy, and a whole lot of Jesus) Dekker asked me the other day over breakfast how the baby comes out. The whole table of children came to attention and stared at me, waiting for a response. I couldn’t ignore the question. We were going to talk about this.

It was a pretty long conversation, so I won’t have it word for word, so please accept my best attempt at paraphrasing. Its just all far too cute to summarize.

It all started with Dekker asking about eye color, and he wondered why we all had blue eyes. A kid in his class told him he thinks Dekker’s eyes are green. I told him the colour can look different based on light and stuff, but because mommy and daddy both have blue eyes, all of our babies will have blue eyes. I retraced my steps and back-pedalled a little, because while its not a current, immediate plan, we’re open to adoption very much around here, and you just never know when and if that time will come. So I changed my answer to “Any baby that comes from my tummy will have blue eyes.” That was what did it.

Dekker: How does the baby come out of your tummy?

*pause as I think of the right way to say it all*

Laela: I think the baby comes out of mommy’s mouth.

Dekker: No, that would be craaaaazy! (He had no idea the bomb that was about to drop) Maybe it comes out of mommy’s belly button. That makes more sense.

Everyone stared at me for clarification.

Laela: Ya bum?
Me: Nope, the baby actually doesn’t come out of any of those places. It comes out of the place where I pee from.

(Not that I should HAVE to have a disclaimer in here, but our children absolutely know the words penis and vagina. I’m all for using the proper, real words when it comes to important things like our bodies. But, I don’t know, I think in the moment I thought it would be a lot of information to take in, and I knew my kids would just giggle at the word “vagina” and miss the actual point. Hence, me saying it this way. Aaaaanyway…)

Dekker and Laela broke out into hysterical tittering laughter at each other, while Rowan looked confused, and confirmed “the pee ‘pot?” Yes, I told him. The spot that pee comes out of.

Dekker: That doesn’t seem right! Babies are bigger than that! Wouldn’t that hurt.

Yes. Yes it would.

Once the crazed laughter died down, I went on to tell them a few more, less scary details. I said I’d go to the hospital, and I’d get my own room and new “jammies” to wear. I told them, in my case, I’d have some medicine, because it does hurt to have a baby, and then my body works very hard and eventually the baby comes out. And that despite how crazy it sounds, its actually how bodies are designed to work! Everyone has different outcomes and different ways, though, I made sure to tell them. Some women have to have surgery even to get their baby out of their tummy, which the kids all agreed was a HUGE amount of work!

Dekker: Is that how I came out of your tummy, too?

Me: You were the first baby to come out of me! You were SO BIG and it took a pretty long time, but you were just so content and calm when you were born! I was so so excited to finally have you out!

Laela: Me too, mommy? Was I calm too?
Me: Haha! Laela, having you was CRAZY! We almost didn’t get to the hospital on time, and I didn’t get the special jammies, or the medicine, or anything! I didn’t even have to push! You just flew right out! It was pretty scary for me, and it hurt, but it was also VERY exciting!

Laela: Push?

I explained that most ladies have to help their baby come out with pushing.
Laela: Like a poop?

Me: Sigh. Yes, exactly like a poop.

Rowan: Can you talk about me now?

Hahaha! 🙂 Classic Ro.

Me: Of course we can! I was a little bit scared after I had Laela so fast, so I went to the hospital early when I had you, so we could really watch and see when you were going to come out. I had my doctor there, and a great nurse, and I got to have medicine so it wouldn’t hurt as much. And you came out so nicely and quickly, and I wasn’t scared! Having you was SO fun!

Dekker and Laela: And Solly??

Me: Solly was born a lot like Rowan. I wasn’t scared, I had really nice people helping me, and Solly was born so easily. Lots of people came to watch because it was going so smoothly.

Laela: But I was the crazy one!!

I confirmed that, yes, she was the crazy one, but that her birth was very exciting and surprising, and probably the one I learned the most from. We also talked about how her birth wasn’t all too different from how Auntie Caity was born. She was THRILLED to know she could share her crazy story with another person, and someone she loves quite a bit.

It was probably the cutest conversation I’ve had with the kids in a long time, and I think it was pretty successful, too! They know the basics of what happens when a woman has a baby, and they’re not completely scarred or afraid of it. Laela still maintains that she wants to have babies someday, which makes my heart happy. It feels like a mom win that no one was upset by any of it.

I’ve been wondering when the day would come that my kids would want to know their birth stories. I didn’t anticipate they’d ask so soon, but I LOVE that it happened! I can’t help but hope we can add another exciting birth story to the mix this coming summer! Cmon, Bambino! You have a crew of siblings eager to meet you!