In my quest to figure out what my family is going to look like and how we’re going to build it and raise our children, I’ve learned that other peoples opinions shouldn’t matter. More and more, I’ve been told not to worry about what other people think or say, but to do as we feel we’re meant to. Whether popular or unpopular, our choices are our own.
I thought I’d have to learn to let things go more, or to let rude comments roll off my back, and sure, there is some of that. But mostly, through my searching and figuring, I’ve more learned to be confident in my choices. I hold no bitterness towards people who wouldn’t do as we do, or who think we’re just nuts. I honestly don’t! There are the occasional comments thrown my way that could be taken as rude, but I think its often just a miscommunication, or people saying something wrong. We don’t always ace everything. I know I sure don’t. I’m sure I’ve been offensive when I’m actually just interested or uneducated. So when people approach me with “So…why did you have so many kids?” I respond with something along the lines of “We’re trying to take over the world.” We have a good laugh and keep on moving. “You’ve got your hands full!” I do, indeed, but I love it! They’re truly amazing kids. “Do these kids all have the same mama??” YES! Its SO much fun! People have a harder time being rude when you approach those comments positively 🙂 I have yet to have someone reply to my answer with “Well, I think you made a huge mistake.”
Aaaaall of this aside, its really true that other people’s opinions shouldn’t matter. But in reality, sometimes, they just do. Even if you don’t want to care, when you know someone isn’t directly FOR you, it quickly feels like they are AGAINST you, and its easy to jump on the defence. Trust me, I know this, too. That mama bear (or papa bear) mentality is all too real, and its ok to feel protective of your family!
I ended up on a tangent I wasn’t expecting, so I’ll stop that here. But I’ll get to the point of what I actually wanted to boil this down to.
Your loving comments over the last two days have been beautiful and encouraging and warm. You’ve all expressed excitement, support, love, understanding, and that we should keep doing what we’re doing 🙂 You can’t know how this makes me feel. While I’m sure there are people out there, even in my very own personal Facebook land, who don’t agree with our choices, they’ve kept it to themselves, which I am truly grateful for. To ONLY have supportive friends speak up has been an immense gift. While your opinions shouldn’t matter too much to me, they do, and I’m so thankful for everyone who is rooting for us.
A little sideways lesson I’m learning through this is to remember to really really NOT judge other people. Even though it shouldn’t matter what I think of really anyone, it might matter to them. I don’t want to be a sore spot for anyone. I don’t know. Just something to think more about, I suppose.
Seriously, thank you all for your love and support as we take the plunge into growing our family further still. I’m so thankful to have so many amaaazing people in our corner through these times.