As many of you learned yesterday, its been a pretty difficult time for our family recently. Thank you, friends, for your love and care. Your support means to much to me. It makes this all a a little bit less lonely. So thank you for that, friends.
Unfortunately, in the midst of our sorrow and struggle and frustration, Laela’s sixth birthday crept up on us out of nowhere. Monday was the day of her birthday, and we had made no plans. None. Zero. And I felt like an utter failure. Because she has been counting down the days, and she was so excited, and speculating about what she wanted to do. None of her ideas were unreasonable, but they felt WAY too big when we were going though everything. We knew we had some time, so we let it sit on the back burner, until it was too late. That. Sucked.
In the morning before school, I asked her what she would choose for her birthday supper. Praise the Lord for her not being wounded or questioning the fact that it was last minute. And Also, praise the Lord for a little girl who is easy to please. She asked for macaroni with wieners, and some cold veggies on the side. “And a cake,” she said. That was all she wanted, and it was so simple.
I ended up having company during the day, which was actually a huge relief to my aching heart. I did not, however, end up making a cake. So I felt like an even bigger failure. It was my ONE job. Ugh.
Brady left work to come home around 4:00. I asked him to grab some kind of dessert on his way home, and he was more than willing. He asked where to go, and what I wanted to get for her. I buckled and I asked Laela. Did she want cookies? Cupcakes? Ice cream cake? Regular cake? What color of icing? All the options. She thought about it seriously for a minute, before Dekker offered a suggestion.
“Did you want the kind I had for my birthday?” he asked. “Tuxedo cake?”
YES! That was it.
So Brady hit Costco while the kids did homework, put their stuff away, and talked about having Laela’s birthday on a school day. It was a very normal day, and I felt SO crappy about it.
Thank goodness, our children are beautiful, gracious individuals. Laela was SO excited for her macaroni and wieners for supper, and there was not a single inquiry about where her party was. No decorations or even a gift to present her with.
I’m SO thankful for our amazing friends across the street! I texted them SO last minute to invite them for birthday cake, and they came right over. They made the party feel like a party!!! Laela had guests, and she was SO happy. We all sang for her and ate big pieces of chocolate tuxedo cake. She blew out her candles and then whispered to me that she wished for more babies. 💔
We visited a little at the table while the kids ran wild through the house. It was very quickly the kids bedtime, and our party guests headed home. The rest of us extended the evening just a little bit, and enjoyed a dance party to some music videos of Laela’s choosing.
There was nothing but gratefulness from our birthday girl. I was the one who felt unhappy and like the ball had been dropped. For now, it seems this will just have to do.
Laela, I hope you feel how deeply your family and friends love you!!