I’ve been on my new antidepressant for a week now. And by “on,” I mean that I’m taking a lower dose of my original medication, and a very small dose of the new one in an effort to transition at least somewhat smoothly.
A very quick recap on what my medications are all fighting.
I have medication for anxiety.
I have medication for heartburn and nausea.
I have medication for sleeping.
None of my medications were working anymore. I mean, thats not true. They worked, but not enough. I was feeling better mentally, but my body was feeling worse and worse. My heartburn at one point was managed by four doses of one prescription, two of another, and then one over the counter stomach aid, and I was barely getting by. I was barely sleeping anymore, and unfortunately, my sleeping pill was the kind you can get addicted to. I knew this going into it, and felt safe enough to be using it as a short term solution. But as our struggles aren’t exactly over, the short term is getting longer, and my body wanted more. So it needed to change. It ALL needed to change.
Its only been a week, but I do have changes to report!
First, the bad. We’ll just get it out of the way.
My new medication is a drowsy one. At least at the beginning, its a very normal side effect. So almost as soon as I started the new one, I cut my sleep aid in half. And while its a very very small dose, my body is suffering through a little bit of withdrawal. Mostly lots of headaches in the mornings. Sometimes all through the day. My hearing is heightened and my head is so sensitive. My temperature is hard to regulate most days. I snuggle with the heating pad a LOT more recently. But I know where its all from, and I’m not afraid.
Also, the new chemicals are changing my brain and nerves, so its a bit of a mental rollercoaster. I dream a lot more. Stressful dreams. Kind of like the hormonal dreamsasters I have when I’m pregnant. My sleep is interrupted because I’m not SO drugged up, so I feel less rested. It all makes sense. Its all working itself out.
Now to the good! Please celebrate with me, even if you can’t relate or think its all a bit silly.
I have an APPETITE!!!!!
One of the “adverse” side effects of my new medication is that it can increase a persons appetite and they can gain weight. I can honestly tell you that I do not remember the last time eating wasn’t difficult for me. The last time I felt hungry. The last time I ate three meals in a day. Truly, I could not tell you. Within probably three or four days of starting this new medication, I was HUNGRY. In the BEST way. At EVERY meal! This sounds so silly to so many of you, I have no doubt. But please hear me heart in this. The moment my appetite came back and I started feeding my body, my energy came back. I was not a zombie anymore. My heartburn is still being treated, but my doses are down to about half of what I was taking. I get the occasional speck of heartburn here and there, but I feel more relaxed about it, and it goes away on its own when I don’t get myself worked up about it.
Feeding my body has fed my brain. I can think clearer. I can cope better. Feeding my body has fed my digestive system, so it can actually eat food with its acid again instead of eating itself. Feeding my body has made things SO much easier. Who knew we needed food to survive?! Turns out I really, really missed food!
I had a good day or two of wanting to eat everything in sight, and now the crazy munchies have calmed down, and I’m good and hungry at the appropriate times. I feel WORLDS APART better! I can even cope with the adverse side effects and withdrawal symptoms easier.
I know its only been a week, but I feel like myself in a way I haven’t in a very long time. Probably, I could say its been years.
I trust the Lord. He comes first, always. I trust Him above medication. But I also believe that sometimes, He gives us medicine. Wisdom. Guidance. This truly feels like its the start of something amazing. Please join me in my victory and excitement! I have ached for health and wellness, and it seems like it is upon me.