I’ve talked about this before. Dekker and Laela. There is this hefty competition between them. I imagine it will always be there, to some degree. They are SO different.
Dekker is the oldest. He is a “classic” oldest. He’s very responsible. An old soul. No nonsense. Wants things done right, the rules followed. Everything must be done properly.
Laela is second oldest. But, she’s the oldest girl. She is very outgoing, energetic, capable, and a full blown bossy pants. Everything must be done her way.
So. They’re different. And they’re both vying for the positive of control freak.
It’s great. 😐
So, needless to say, these two battle it out more than any other pairing of children in our family. These. Two. Scrap.
It helps my heart to know they truly love and trust each other. They have fun at school together, and work well together during quiet time. Dekker feels protective of Laela, and she wants him to snuggle her, from time to time. They are on the same level for many things, which is good and bad, but its easy to group them together.
The other day, there had been a BIG fight, and I had them sit on a chair together, snuggled in a blanket, and read a book, alternating pages. So much of their time that day was spent fighting, I wanted some nice time for them. They were both furious! The first couple of pages were read through tears, but eventually they got settled in and enjoyed the book. It actually worked out pretty well, in my opinion!
Another day, more recently, ALL they would do is nitpick at one another. I was desperately trying to get a thought out and all I could hear was them arguing. I’d ask them to stop fighting, or quiet down, or just pause even, and they’d say “ok” and immediately start up again. I could NOT get my thought out so I cut them off and sent each kid to a separate couch, across the living room from one another and instructed them not to talk. After a stretch of silence, I allowed one to join the other on their couch. I didn’t make any rules or give any instruction beyond that. My mama heart was overjoyed to find them like this just moments later.
There weren’t many words exchanged at first. Then she started playing with his hair, commenting on how long it was.
After a while, it turned into a rowdy, silly tickle fight.
But it was perfect. Clearly, they just needed to step away from their arguments and enjoy some good time together.
I’m learning more and more about parenting with every given day, and for that, I praise the Lord.