The plan for today was to drive to the city for 12:45, for Laela to have her first set of vaccines, and to drive home right after, arriving around 2:30 at the latest. Both kids were fed and dressed and ready to go at a good time. We left with not a whole lot packed. A couple of diapers for each kid, one prepared bottle, and an extra sleeper.
On the way out of town, I received a call. I have a counselling appointment booked for December 23rd, and had been put on a cancellation list. Someone had cancelled for today at 4:30pm, and I was offered first dibs. I called Brady and he agreed to leave work early and occupy the kidlets while I went in. So I took the appointment. While I was relieved, and a little nervous, I was also completely unprepared when it came to my kids needs. So I made it up as I went.
First we went to the south east public health centre for Laela’s shots. I got solid flack from the nurse for using formula and for the amber necklace but other than that, she seemed to like us. Laela is weighing 12 lbs 4 oz which is a nice jump in the last three weeks but he’s still in a lower percentile. I’m sure she’s fine, but I know there are standards she is expected to meet so we’ll see what Dr. Guselle says on the 19th. But she handled the shots like a champ and we were out of there nice and quick. From there, I went to Costco to buy a can of formula so I could actually feed Laela more than once all afternoon. While there, we picked up some milk and those great Rubbermaid cereal containers.Deks was not happy to be in the cart on one side of the till while I was on the other, but I just kept eye contact with him and talked to him. When the bagger pulled him through and talked to him, he warmed up and charmed her a little. Its nice to see him become slightly less shy these days. We made it through the line and headed back to the car. I loaded them all back up and drove back out towards Saskatoon, not totally sure where to go yet. I decided my kids needed to eat so we hit McDonalds. Yes, I know, judge away. But its called “survival.” Dekker and I split a pack of chicken nuggets…
and Laela had her bottle. Lately, holding her and feeding her anywhere where my arm isn’t supported is giving me horrible neck aches, so I figured out a new way…
Don’t worry, I don’t drive like this! Once all were fed and watered, I tucked Laela back in the car and headed to the closest place I could think of. Lawson mall. It actually worked out better than I thought it would. I put both kids in a cart and just slowly did a lap around the mall. All of the stores I used to like have been phased out for ones I care for considerably less, so that was kind of disappointing, but we did find the lego table in the food court. Dekker appears to be learning color matching these days. Also, he built a car that he was pretty excited about.
When it was time to go, he started to put up a big fuss. If I held out my hand for him, he would push it away. When he started to get loud I asked if he would rather stay there by himself. He contemplated it, and finally settled on “Ummmm…up.” So I loaded him into the cart and we left happily together. Considering how long everything took with two kids (not that I was rushing at all!) I drove us over to the counselling office and parked out front to wait for Brady. He arrived at the perfect time for me to run in and fill out some forms before my appointment.
I’m not sure how much to really share on here about my counselling appointment but I’ll say this – I am confident I picked the right person to speak to. I liked her approach and her way of asking questions without that whole stereotypical “and how does that make you feeeeel?’ spin. She pointed out a few things that I didn’t completely realize I was feeling. One example is that I said that I hated who I was in those moments that Laela was delivered. Her response pointed out that self-hatred is a really difficult thing to overcome, as God hasn’t created us to feel those things. I LOVE that perspective. Just one of the things that resonated with me. The appointment was great, and she kept my original appointment date as well, so I will see her one more time before Christmas, which is really what I wanted.
I am now completely and officially drained. We ate a lazy supper and Dekker is now in bed. I’m so ready for a bubble bath and a sleep. Pray that Laela goes down well after sleeping so much in the day!