Its so hard to know how to blog these days. I’m sure a good handful of you think I’m just fully losing it in my life, and I want to reassure you that I’m not. Keep in mind that there may be stuff going on in our life that I don’t make public on here. In our current life, there is a lot that I haven’t made public, and those are the things that are bringing me down pretty far. Because of this, its really really hard to know what to write, what to blow past, what to share, etc. And while you’re reading and thinking I’m being suuuper negative, know how hard I work every single day to share positives and different perspectives. We are working our butts off over here to stay positive.
I wanted to clarify that because yesterday especially, I was at some of my lowest moments. I felt like I was just ready to break. Everything yesterday made me cry. I was a flat out disaster. Today, I worked hard from first thing in the morning on to have a better attitude and to make the day better, even just for the kids and not myself. And you know what? Its paid off. We haven’t had the most seamless day ever, but I don’t expect perfection. They’ve just been happier, more cuddly, and they’ve all played better together. They’ve shared more, without prompting sometimes even. Laela is a much more willing sharer in our daily life, but today, Dekker is doing what he can to make her happy because of how happy its making me. We’re all learning and figuring, and I’m constantly amazed how my kids continue to thrive in such hard circumstances. They are rockstars.
Since all of the sickness has been through our house, we’re all still very tired and dragging most of the time. The one pro from this is that we all rest at the same time. I love this quiet time. It leaves me time to do this, doze in bed a bit, watch YouTube, and currently, eat popcorn twists. I’m going to take that relaxing time now, and hope that none of you think I’m insane. Thanks for your love and concern. We’ll get this all together soon enough.