This whole thing just feels surreal these days. The fact that we made it to 18 weeks. The fact that we found out the gender. Everything else. It just feels incredible, and new, and exciting, and scary. Thank you all for sharing in our excitement regarding Friday’s post about the baby’s gender. My heart just swelled reading through comments, messages, etc. Bambina coming home feels so much more real than it did before, and its so fun to know how many others are excited for her arrival, too! We feel so fortunate to have all the support that we have! So, again, thank you!!!
Let’s begin!
Size Comparison: Once again, this weeks comparison on the app is super variable, suggesting baby is the size of a slingshot, a sweet potato, or a croissant, which I liked best. However, she is apparently 5.5″ tall and weighing 7 oz. I don’t have current numbers, but the times I have, baby has been heavier than the app suggests. Do I already have a chubby baby in there??
Appointments: I saw Dr. Guselle last week, and I’ll have an ultrasound later this week. Soon, the appointments will drop off, though, which I admit to feeling nervous about, but I’m confident I’ll have all the care I need as I need it. As usual, my appointment with my doctor was great. Reassuring, lighthearted, and informative, with a few good laughs. Dr. Guselle was thrilled for us that we are having another girl, and made a point to print out our official report so I could keep it. She gets me. She found Bambina’s heartbeat pretty much instantly. She actually even casually mentioned to me that “some people buy their own doppler’s online.” I was floored that she even put it out there, because the risk that I’d make myself crazy is definitely there. Obviously, I haven’t told her I have one already, because I assumed she’d advise against it. I love that she suggested it. I think she trusts me. On a slightly different note, this appointment continued to show that my blood pressure is on the lower side, as usual, and my weight gain is nice and under control. I started this pregnancy about 15 lbs up from where I started my pregnancy with Jamin, and while I’ve done nothing different or significant, I’ve only gained 2 lbs! So I’m pretty happy with how thats turning out. So far, medical wise, all is well. Blood work is still to come, but not until 26-ish weeks. Until then, I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing – drinking as much water as I can, taking my aspirin before bed, and my vitamins. I’m doing all I can do.
How am I feeling emotionally: My honest answer is that I feel very strongly in two different directions these days. I feel SO excited, and hopeful. I feel like this is finally going to work!!! But I feel very vulnerable, and scared to be let down. Things like finding out Bambina’s gender made it so much more real, in such a wonderful way, but now its so much more personal. She is confidently named. What if she dies now? We’ll lose her name, too 🙁 I don’t mean to be harsh, or depressing. They’re just my real thoughts. I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose her. I can’t do it again. So I’m THRILLED, but I’m pretty scared. Pretty anxious.
How am I feeling physically: Meh :/ I’m not feeling great. I’m trying to just be done with Diclectin, dropping that last half dose before bed, but I’m finding myself gaggy in the day, so I may jump back into that dose and give it another week or two. My pelvic pain is under control, but I rely heavily on that ridiculous belt anytime I’m out and about. I had things pop out of the place the other day in a way they don’t usually, and WOW did that hurt!! It was still burning the next morning. I highly recommend against having this problem. Sneezing has never ever been so painful.
Wish List/Purchases: I bought a cute sweater and a tank top out of Thyme Maternity the other day when they had 70% off their clearance section, but otherwise we’re still trying to stay pretty modest with purchases that aren’t necessary. That being said, my online Gap and Old Navy cart eats me alive every single day when I log in and enter the promo codes, seeing just how low I can get the price down. Every few days, something sells out and is removed from my cart. And yes, it eats me. But I’m trying. Restraint is tough. Buying a few little summery items for her feels like a right of passage that I haven’t got to fulfill yet, and its a struggle. But I know, first world problems. I’ll live. But I daydream a lot! Another thing on my wish list is a diaper bag that I’ve been eyeing for literally years and I just want to get it! But its over $100, so once again, we’ll just have to wait and see, and wait and wait and wait. So the wish list is definitely there, and I’m definitely dreaming. One of these days, we’ll bite at least one of the bullets, haha!
Pictures: I think you got some pretty good, recent pictures in my gender reveal post, so if you missed it, feel free to check it out!
How are the kids feeling: So the kids are THRILLED beyond belief that Bambina is a girl!!! That was the obvious highlight of life for them this last week. When we told them we knew whether the baby was a boy or a girl, they wagered their final guesses, and they had flip flopped from their previous ideas! Dekker guessed “boy” for the first time this pregnancy, and Laela, who has been insistent that this baby is a boy (because only mommy and Laela are the girls) begged for it to be a girl! Rowan held steady with his guess for a girl, and Solly sucked on the bottom of his milk cup when asked his opinion. Everybody squealed when I stole the blue cookies off the table, leaving the pink ones there for everyone to eat in celebration. They all took to changing her nickname to Bambina right away, and they joined me in my daydreaming instantly. They are ready for a baby girl to join our family!!
Getting to know the baby: Well, we obviously know a pretty important detail about her now! She’s a little lady. With our regular ultrasounds, we know that her limbs and fingers and toes all look right. We know her organs are all accounted for, and that everything seems in order at this point! We’ve seen her fingernails and her beautifully formed spine. The one thing she’s been secretive about for the most part is her face!! We cannot get a good shot of the money maker! Hopefully later this week 🙂 Beyond that, I know she almost always hangs out on the left side of my abdomen, which is funny because Laela was the only other baby that liked it there. The boys have stretched the right side out good and proper, and I just assumed every baby from here on out would like the roomier side better. But nope. Bambina likes to be different, and literally sides with her sister.
The BEST part of being pregnant this week: I mean this one shouldn’t be hard. I LOVE being able to celebrate knowing her gender. However, that was secretly my best thing about being pregnant last week. Whoops! So I think the best thing about this week was possibly feeling the baby move??? I’m so hesitant about this because, with the stinking anterior placenta, I know movement isn’t going to be felt early. And the feelings I’m feeling are SO small. But they’re something. Easy to miss, and they’re few and far between. But, they’re little scratches and bubbles, and they’re familiar. And really, its not early. I’m 18 weeks! This isn’t an unbelievable time to be feeling movement. So just knowing that might be what I’m feeling brings me hope and excitement. That will be such a game changer when I can confidently feel her every single day. For that day, I am ITCHING!!
Favourite Thing: I think my favorite thing this week is getting back into crocheting!! I kind of jump in and out of phases of crocheting, but I love having something to keep my hands busy with when I do get down time. I am so excited to crochet for our baby! However, she will come in summer, which limits the opportunities to make her sweaters, toques, infinity scarves, booties, etc. However, I pulled out an old project I was a good chunk of the way into, and was reminded just how much I loved working on it! I won’t show it to you or really go much further into it at this point, because I’m not even sure what the end goal is at that point. A blanket? A rug? Some kind of decorative wall thing? I don’t know. But I’m back in the creative saddle and am loving it! I don’t often have a hobby on the go, just with the general busyness of life, but I’m so happy to have picked it up again. It makes me really want to go to the craft retreat coming up in a couple of months, so I don’t end up dropping it again! We’ll have to see if I can justify it 🙂 I went a few years ago and really really enjoyed it! But for now, I’ll just keep enjoying working on it here at home. I encourage you all to be a little crafty 😉
This really all wraps up to have been a great week. I’ve felt some lightness, and some excitement, and some freedom to plan and hope a little harder. I have really enjoyed how real things are feeling, and in the moments when I let myself forget the harsh realities and possibilities, I’m just jumping out of my skin excited to meet this baby, who I have NO reason to think will pass away, but will come home and join our family in five months. I just want her. I want her so badly.💜