Zombieland

Cher here!

Imagine having a 3am bathroom break and when you’re done, you go to leave the bathroom, but as soon as you open the door, a zombie walks in before you even get the momentum to get your foot outside. You do a double take because it looks like your honorary nephew, but it moved slowly, it groaned and it only had one eye open.

As some of you may know, I stay at the Borns sometimes. This started during COVID because I needed somewhere to study and focus. Sometimes I would stay 2-3 week stretches, go home for a week, then return.

I sleep in the spare room in the basement, where the bathroom separates my room from the boys’ room. Solly never leaves his bed, but I am still very aware of his existence because he is the rooster in the family. I will never forget the first time I heard him bright and early singing “OLD MACDONALD HAD A KYLE AND A CHILD EE I EE I OOOO” and for a few months, Old Macdonald was his go to song. Sometimes I would listen on purpose because the things he says are sometimes so ridiculously funny.

Dekker is more subtle about things. For example: I never know when he is awake until I hear giggling in the bathroom, right next to me. Sometimes it feels like he is in the room WITH me because the ceiling isn’t finished yet, so sounds come through differently. I am SO happy that no one was giggling at me in my room though. I don’t think I could take that kind of judgment.

Now what I do is I keep the light ON when I open the door so I don’t get AS startled, I have even opened the door slowly just in case, or tried to pee quietly so I can hear if he leaves his room to come wait for a turn. It’s a very crafty system I have.

Dekker has a very special relationship with the bathroom mirror. It isn’t always noticeable at night, but in the day, he LOVES to chat with himself. He sometimes forgets I am over and has complete conversations with himself. I have heard him make fart sounds and laugh, interview himself, pretend he is someone else, and the most recent… ONLY giggling. I know I shouldn’t be mean, but sometimes I knock on the wall and I see what he says. He totally thinks someone is at the door. But sometimes it helps him to get going faster because he will linger while the rest of his sibs are upstairs waiting to pray before bed. (I read this to Dekker just now and he laughed and said he LOVED this)

Dekker: “Now what are you writing?”
Me: “Everything you just said.”

Maybe I made the boys sound totally annoying to you, but to me, I just love them so much. I love their quarks and their weirdness. I love having my metabolism boosted also. Good for the ticker.