I went through a time several years ago where I could never find anything positive in any given situation. I would be questioned on how my day was and all I could come up with was the negative. I don’t remember what nudged me towards writing in a journal but I started nonetheless and it was the best thing I could have done. I decided that nothing negative would be recorded in my journals, and stuck firmly to it. Of course there were times I would go several weeks without an entry due to a loss of a family member, fight with a friend, or messy breakup with a boyfriend (since those seem extra traumatic in high school.) But I would come back full force and not even always address it. I’ve reread a few entries here and there over the years and its nice to see that there were some really fun times in my life, amongst the messy times that we all have.
What made me think back to those journals this evening was my son. He’s developing his own personality and its amazing to watch! Of course he’s been quite an individual since he was born, but he’s becoming much more aware of everything. If we take something from him that he’s not supposed to play with, he’ll cry. Up until not long ago, he would just pat the floor and giggle and get on with life. Also, he doesn’t spend every moment of the day gleeful. Not that he’s sad constantly, but he now has a serious, concentrating face, which I actually find beautiful. Just look at him! He’s such little boy, he’s outgrowing babyness.
Even though my son is getting more serious and tough, he still can find joy in just about anything. Things that make him smile no matter what are as follows: sneezing, wind in his face, any song sang in “doo’s,” the beeping sound that comes with dialing on the phone, cameras, yogurt, and many more. He welcomes new things and seems so thankful for almost every experience. I think there is something to that. He finds such joy in little things and then when he’s unhappy, he just gets past it. No grudges, no bitterness, no fear.
We are God’s children. I’ve always taken that to mean that we will make mistakes, and our Heavenly Father will forgive us and love us unconditionally as parents should. While I believe this is true, I think we can be like children in others ways too. Why can’t we take the tough challenges as just that? Tough challenges! Or messy situations as just messy situations? Couldn’t we be stuck at the side of the road with a flat tire and just pause to smell the air? I don’t know when in life we lose that contentedness, but I think it happens sometimes. I pray that Dekker can keep the simple joy he has now as he sits on the floor clapping away, totally happy with himself, completely forgetting about his rough night last night. He didn’t let that ruin his day like I almost did. I can learn a lot from him.
I’ve decided to be more like Dekker, because he seems to have a better take on what being God’s child is supposed to be like. Also, I’ve decided I love sneezing too. Achoo!