We spent most of the day putting together and tidying up for my dad’s 60th birthday party. It was nicely under control and organized, in my opinion. Pies were being baked, the backyard was cleaned up with tables and chairs set out, lemonade was being made, the list goes on. In case I forget to say it, it was a really nice party 🙂 We had to leave early (the kids were completely shot) but the visiting and food was great, and I think he really enjoyed it.
I ducked out in the afternoon for a little while to take Solly into the doctor. I had booked an appointment with Dr. Guselle at 3:45, and I have been anticipating getting to talk to her about Rowan’s history and my suspicions with Solly. I got into the appointment pretty quickly, and it wasn’t long before the student doctor came in. We almost always see a student first, since thats the way this clinic works. So I chatted with her about Solly and I’ll be the first one to say I was (and still am) incredibly frustrated with how it all went.
As I predicted, her responses to my concerns were along the lines of “Oh but he’s so cute and happy, and he’s definitely growing. You’re fine, aren’t you, little guy?” I was SO angry. I told her the things that happened with Rowan, and the similarities that I’m seeing in Solly. She didn’t seem to find any merit in what I was saying. Finally I said “I agree, he’s drinking and gaining and growing, but doesn’t the quality of life matter?” And she shrugged me off. “Well…..” That was all I got before she went back to her point. Finally she said “I mean if you just want him on medicine, I can give you a prescription to test…” On one hand, I was happy to be able to have a script for a reflux medication, but that comment just rubbed me the wrong way. Its not as though I came to the appointment just looking to put my baby on medication, just for kicks. I was SO angry.
And best of all, then she printed off the script and sent me on my way. I did not see my doctor. Not even for a second.
I loaded Solly up, took him to the van, and had a good solid cry. Then I cried for most of the drive home. I stopped at the pharmacy to fill the script, and then cried once again on the way to my parents house. I gathered myself up and did fine for the rest of the evening. Being with the whole group was conveniently distracting, but as I now sit in bed while Brady tries to feed our screaming, red, starving baby, I’m having trouble keeping myself level. Its as though the anger that I worked so hard to roll off has somehow found a way to roll back on.
And as I finished that last sentence, this happened.
Yup. Solly barfed while Brady was feeding him beside me. Projectile like I have never seen it. We sat him up right away and I held him while he wretched and arched and vomited over and over again. I am confident he lost basically every bit of milk we got into him.
So if anyone who prays would like to throw one or two our way, we would greatly appreciate it. Solly is upset, and his parents are feeling pretty discouraged. Something has got to give, and its can’t be Solly’s comfort or quality of life. God be with us.