We’re all pretty off around here. After another big work afternoon for Brady and I, we’ve accomplished a ton of work in the furnace room. Yet, I still don’t feel satisfied. The rest of my list is growing, and what space we now have in our furnace room is FILLED with bins of garbage that we have nowhere to throw out. It will eventually be cleaned out, but I’m so tired of all the garbage. It just feels like the “gets worse before it gets better” stage.
Next to that, Dekker is in rare form these last few days. Its hard to figure him out, because he’s started to tell us he doesn’t feel well. At first, we were super compassionate, and thrilled that he had started to communicate that way! But now, he “doesn’t feel well” ever, apparently! Or if he doesn’t want to do something. And we have NO IDEA if he actually feels sick, or if he’s trying to stall. I guess lots of parents have this stage of figuring and wondering, and not wanting to discourage communication or encourage lying. BUT our hang up is that Dekker claims headaches. All. The. Time. And if his head hurts, it might actually be an issue with his prescription! But do I try and make some short notice “emergency” appointment with his ophthalmologist, to have everything be exactly the same? Or do I ignore him and not see Dr. Rubab until the end of February like is scheduled?? I have no idea.
And on top of everything, since tidying and working this afternoon, I’ve developed a fairly heavy and nerve wracking chest pain. I think I just pushed it too hard, and I’ve been banished to bed for supper, which is actually quite lovely. But I hate feeling like an invalid, and being utterly useless to my family. What makes me think I can have three kids if I can’t even handle two hours of work in the afternoon?? Sigh. I’m in pity mode. Sorry guys.
Its just felt like an off day. I know we accomplished lots, and in the very near future, it will feel sooo much better! But today, it feels like another day pissed away with a ton of garbage produced and sick, grouchy kids.
Definitely time to stop moping and end this post!