Lately I’ve been watching a lot of YouTube channels recently. There are a few I follow daily, mostly mothers who have vlogged throughout their pregnancies and now make updates about their kids and their lives and all sorts of that kind of thing. I like just being part of their lives, but I also take bits and pieces of advice from them, as we all do from other parents I think. Anyway, one of them did a video recently about what they liked about their journey from conception to parenting their now-three year old, and what they might do differently if they were to have another child. I thought it was an interesting video and, while I’m not a vlogger, I am a blogger, and maybe my readers would be interested the same way her viewers were interested. So for the first time since I started posting, I took today and jotted down topics as I thought of them. Things I for sure wanted to add in, things I liked and don’t want to change, things I’m planning to do differently, etc. This may result in a super jumbled post and I apologize in advance for that. I also want to “apologize” for the differences of opinions I’m sure we’ll have on some things. I’d like to throw out the Bambi rule and just ask you to keep any comments to yourself that would possibly make this pregnant, anxious mother feel badly about herself. Whew! Now that that’s all been said, to the top of the list!
The first thing I wrote on my list was in capital letters, and I think it actually is the most important thing.
LESS FEAR!!
Not a fear of having a child even, but a fear of doing it all wrong. And honestly, a fear of other people’s judgement, mostly. I was so scared when I made the “unpopular” decisions. I was scared when Dekker would spit up on someone. I was scared when he would cry in quiet places. I was scared when complete strangers would come up to me and shake their boobs in their hands in my direction and ask if I was nursing, and even more scared to tell them I wasn’t. I was absolutely freaked. No more.
For the labor and delivery chunk of this “next time around” topic, I thoroughly enjoyed how it played out my first time! The few things I might do a little different are firstly, to stand up for myself a little bit more. Or to have Brady stand up for me more. Not that he didn’t last time! We were just first-timers, and I think a lot of people will be able to relate to the feeling of it all sort of being out of your control. It isn’t. Or it sure shouldn’t be! A nurse should not be impatient to speak to me while I’m in mid-contraction. Things like that. They can wait another fifteen seconds while it comes down. I might be a bit more firm on things like that. Also, I never wrote out a birth plan with Dekker, because I didn’t have tons of requests at all. However, I think it would be helpful to write down the few that I do have so they don’t have to ask me too many times. It didn’t translate especially well last time, so I may make a short list of things, like no eye ointment, letting me hold the baby longer after delivery, letting me push slowly, things like that. Nothing too crazy.
When baby girl is new and at home, we will likely have her in disposable diapers until the tar poops are gone, but after that, an obvious big change for us will be putting her in cloth. And instead of drugstore creams, we’re going to use coconut oil on her bum. Things we will keep the same as the first will be keeping her day sleeps very bright in an effort for her to sleep lighter, and possibly better at night. We will also likely room-share for the first few weeks or maybe up to two months. All of this depends on her condition at birth, and how soon she sleeps through the night.
Another things I wrote in capital letters was BE BRAVE!! With Dekker, we formula fed, circumcised, let him cry it out, injected, used disposable everything, and all of those super unpopular things. I suppose this really ties into the LESS FEAR aspect of things. We need to do what is right for our family, not anyone else’s family. This brings me to my decision for feeding. No official decision has been made at this point about whether we will formula feed or nurse. I currently have zero desire to nurse, and I LOVED bottle feeding for lots of reasons. If suddenly my baby pops out and all I want to do is nurse her, I sure will! But if not, my baby will likely be fed exclusively formula, and I am more than ok with that. I am very pro-breastfeeding, but maybe not for me. Good on anyone who does it!
There are a few more things I would like to do differently. Brush her teeth sooner. Take her to an eye doctor sooner. Teach a bit more! I love that Dekker has just played his first two years away. He is a kid, and I think thats what he should do! But I’m realizing now that he is wickedly smart and I wish I had started a few things sooner. I mean, he learned all the features on his face in a couple of days. I had never thought to teach him those things. They didn’t matter! But growing his brain does. I know now. I would also like to introduce solid food and drinking from a cup sooner. This will depend on whether or not we have another projectile vomiter on our hands. Dekker was not ready for solids when everyone was pushing us to feed them to him. We’ll see what this one does. But yes, solid foods and sips from a cup. Might even go the baby lead weening route?
I am very happy with a lot of the rules we chose to enforce and the battles we chose, such as our kids respecting their things, and others things, and other people in general! I will, however, probably be a bit more knowledgeable in recognizing when my child is just too far gone into their meltdown or fit, and I’ll calm them a bit before we hash back into it. If I can’t hear myself talk, neither can they, and yelling doesn’t solve anything. It just makes me cry too.
And lastly, I think something very important that gets left by the wayside is myself. I need to take care of me. Yes, I fell back into shape and weight pretty quickly after Dekker, but it was done by not taking care of myself, forgetting to eat, and being low. Having come into this pregnancy with such anxiety, and having the hard pregnancy that I’ve had, I feel like I’ll need to make a special effort to take care of myself once its over. So my one silly (but ambitious?) idea is to buy Zumba for Wii and play it everyday for even just a short period of time. Sometime when baby naps, or is being held, and while Dekker is dancing beside me. I think he’ll love it, to be honest. And if he doesn’t, the kid still naps! So I’ll have chances I think. But I’m going to try for that exercise, recruit my mom to help me set up meal plans, and accept help that is offered!!! If someone comes over and offers to do a chore, I won’t be so embarrassed and brush them off. I’ll embrace it! So beware, visitors who offer to help 😉 I may put you to work!
I think thats all I have! If there is a topic that someone is interested in that I’ve missed, please let me know and I’ll give you my take on it. Thanks for reading!