I’ll willingly admit that I am one of the people who was absolutely dreading turning 30. I’ll also admit that I wasn’t especially rational in my thinking. I would look at myself as a person, and the beautiful life I have, and would think “What have I been doing for the last ten years?!” Which I know is foolish, trust me. My last ten years have been BIG! Brady and I got married. We moved a handful of times, and had a house built for us. Brady started his own business and has been successful! We’ve been pregnant seven times, and brought home five healthy, delicious children. That equals 52 months of pregnancy! We’ve made many friends, and learned about being good friends to our friends. Its been a FULL decade. Yet somehow, I’ve anticipated turning thirty as being some kind of indicator of how little I’ve done. Typing it out even feels stupid now…
Lucky for me, I can now see how ridiculous those feelings are. Thirty can bring it on. I’m not afraid of it. Of course I’m thirty! If I weren’t aging, I wouldn’t have who I have, or be who I am!! And ever so slowly, I’m starting to like me 🙂 Hailey is not all that bad, turns out.
I do feel, however, like this birthday is comparable to everyone else’s New Years. A restart, kind of. And in my heart, a few new goals are brewing. “Hopes,” maybe, is a better word than “goals.” Though does “hope” take away the action part of the word? Hmmm… You get it, right? Many of these goals require me to be braver, so any and all encouragement and prayer is needed and coveted.
I want to be braver in my kitchen, and try new recipes that take more time, even if it makes me feel scattered, if I flop them, or if everyone hates them. That is worth the risk. Goodbye to (most) convenience food, and hello to fresher, healthier things that actually sustain us.
I want to exercise juuust a little. As in going for more walks and little things like that. If I’m unhappy with little things here and there on my body, the only person who can change them is me! If I don’t end up working on these things, I won’t complain about them! And thats ok, too! Simple as that 🙂
I want to change some things up here on the blog, and make some attempts to actually grow my audience! This feels like a SUPER vulnerable one for me, for some reason. My list of goals focusing on and around the blog is my longest list! I’m on the market for a cute little book/calendar to plan blogs out and write notes, and I’m still looking for a nice chair for my gorgeous new desk (that is currently heaped to high heaven with laundry baskets)
I want to, at some point in the coming year or two, find an avenue that can actually help my family financially. Nothing big or crazy, but I’d love to be able to offer something that people need/want, and do it well. I want to learn a skill that matters. I have an idea or two brewing in that department, but again, vulnerability sucks.
Like I said, guys. Bravery. Courage. Confidence. These are things that I lack, but I think they’re things I’d really love to have, that would better me as a person.
Its recently been brought to my attention by more than a couple of people that perhaps my expectations of myself are a touch too high. I’m not sure if thats true, or if perhaps I’m just motivated? I don’t desire to be supermom, but I do desire to be the best version of myself. I want to be the woman God has in mind, and I’m trying to figure out who that is.
I’m so thankful to have had thirty years of life under my belt. I pray I have more years ahead to chase after God’s ideal Hailey.