First of all, huuuugely misleading title, haha! Very clickbaity. I witnessed a thing once, though, so I figured I’d milk it hard for a blog post. Basically, I am the police. 😎 You’re welcome.
*****
Back in the day of confed mall having its own Walmart, my mom and I stopped in for a shop. We rarely went to that location, and I have no idea why we did that day. But, we did. I was in my teens, but I choose to believe I was in my young teens because this story is based on how annoying I was.
We were leaving Walmart, and like the mature human being I was, I pressed the button that opened the door. The door opened sooooooo slooooowly. I stood like a statue until the door had opened completely. I thought this was hilarious, but people were trying to leave and I had held them up with my own fun. So being the considerate woman I was raised to be, I walked through the little holding cell area (ironic foreshadowing) and hit the next button to open the next door. And again, I stood there like a statue, blocking everyone’s way. Could I have been a bigger turd?? There was a man behind my mom and I who was laughing good-naturedly at me, but there were now a handful of other people behind him. I was officially affecting/annoying a decent group now.
It was when we FINALLY left Walmart that we learned the friendly man behind us must have been screaming on the inside the entire time he was blocked by me and my idiotic game. The moment his foot hit the sidewalk, he was tackled by the plain-clothed security guards that were following him out of the building. It appeared he had stolen merchandise tucked inside his jacket.
🤷
I know. I’m amazing. The bravery I exhibited is astounding. I deserve a medal, really. All these things I know.
A medal for immaturity at least. 😉 We all know I was winning at that! Jokes on that guy for getting stuck behind me that day…
Woop woop! Thats the sound of da police!