I remember when we first had Dekker, and I had these moments where I was afraid to try and raise him. I very quickly learned that I was mores o just clueless on how to discipline. I’ll always admit that I do most things FAR from perfectly, but I think that kind of stuff is just a mystery until you start. You can’t learn how to properly discipline before you know the kid who needs discipline. Anyway, its been an interesting road, and I like to think I have at least a semblance of control over my kids. At least thats what I tell myself 😉
Today, I asked Laela to do something, and she flat out refused. We don’t see too much of that around here, so I immediately got on her that she needed to do what I said, and she needed to do it FAST. And she stood in front of me, tears running down her face, screaming “NO!” Sooooo needless to say, she got punished.
Post-punishment, she was VERY sad. When she was allowed back to her toys, she rushed over and completed the task I had originally asked her to do. Seconds later, she had collapsed into a heap of tears on the floor. I told her she had done a good job, and had listened and learned, and that I was very happy with her, but she couldn’t catch her breath! Finally, between shrucks, she managed the word “up.” I scooped her up and hugged her to me. She was totally unmoving.
We sat like that for quite some time, but once the dryer had buzzed obnoxiously three times, and I could hear Rowans talking upstairs in his bed escalating to very real crying, I knew I had to let her go. She started to cry immediately. I explained to her that I was going to go switch the laundry, and then go get Rowan, and I would come back as soon as I could and sit with her again. She said “ya” and I plunked her in our spot on the chair.
When I had retrieved Rowan and switched the loads of laundry, I headed back to my chair, and Laela was all scrunched over to one side. She patted the seat beside her and said her little “mmmmm mommy.” If you’ve talked to her, you know her sweet little “mmm.” I sat beside her, and she leaned her head on my arm, deflated. My discipline had really taken the wind out of her. Or so I thought, until just seconds later, she sighed, and said “Happy.” It caught me completely off guard. I asked her if she had said what I thought she had said, and she responded “Happy! Mommy happy?”
I find discipline to be easily one of the hardest parts of parenting, yet I love these moments so much. How is it that my kid can be so misbehaved in one moment, get is SUCH big trouble, and so soon after, all we want to do is snuggle?! There is certainly no love lost between my little Laela and I, I can guarantee you that! She knows how much I love her, even when I have to teach her about consequences and making wrong choices.
After a REALLY good kissyfest with the kidlets in the kitchen after supper, everyone is tucked away for the night. Brady got home quite late, compared to our usual routine, so we’ll eat together soon, and hopefully hit the hay early.