The Daily Hailey

I’m sure I’m not the only one remembering the things I am thankful for today. Some people roll their eyes at Thanksgiving because we should always be thankful, and I agree with that. I assure you that I focus on things that I am grateful for most days of my life. I have been truly blessed by many wonderful people and with many amazing things. I have waaay more to be thankful for than I can think of in one sitting. Lots and lots.

I’ll be the first to admit that this year has been difficult on me, though. Sometimes I feel like this whole situation with the house not selling and not selling and not selling is just crushing my insides. I always try to go back to the fact that we really live in a beautiful home! I have a solid house that is more than enough room to fit my family, where we feel safe and familiar and comfortable. Its the only house our kids know as their own. It is a wonderful place. I pep talk myself about this. Every. Single. Day. And it get wearing, if we’re being honest.

As a Christian, I am confident that my life is in Gods hands, and that He knows the plans he has for me. Plans for good, not for disaster, to give me a future and a hope. This, I believe. But this year in particular, I have struggled to find comfort in that truth. I know He knows, but I want to know! However, the last few days, I’ve felt something new on the subject. I still don’t feel very much comfort, if any, knowing that God has our house, as well as our hypothetical next house, in His hands. But what I do feel is thankfulness that its not in my hands. There is very clearly a plan I know nothing about, and there is a reason that we are still here. If it were up to me, we would have been out of here a few years ago. But who knows how that would have turned out. I don’t know the plans God has, and that still drives me bananas. But I am genuinely grateful that it isn’t up to me. I feel burdened still, but I know my load to carry is much lighter than it could be. I hesitate to say I feel peace (?) but I think I feel some, at least.

So. I am THANKFUL that my life is in Gods hands. I am THANKFUL for the roof above my head and the walls that protect us from the wind. I am THANKFUL for my amazing husband and our children than make my heart laugh daily. I am THANKFUL that I don’t feel any bitterness or anger towards my Father in Heaven, and that His big hands have enough room in them to carry all of us, even in our unbelief.

I can’t guarantee I will feel this way every day for the duration of our stay in this home, because I am human, and sometimes I break. I don’t like to pretend I feel one way when I feel the opposite. But today, I am not unbelieving. Today, I am hopeful and thankful and in love.

Happy Thanksgiving.