The Daily Hailey

I struggle pretty hard with Brady’s schedule sometimes. He is a morning person, which is perfect! He chooses to get up at stupid o’clock in the mornings so he can be home at a good time and hang out with Dekker and I. It is weeks like this that make me a little crazy. He has a pretty huge workload and is doing everything he can to make it so he has next week off to be with family all Christmas. This involves him getting up at balls am and working late. Late as in 7pm, and then driving home, getting home at 8 and seeing Dekker for maybe a half hour. I don’t think he likes the schedule any more than I do, but to have a week off together would be sooo wonderful if we can get there! Thank you for all you do, my love.

I often let these types of situations put me in a very low place, feeling sorry for myself. Why?! He’s the one putting in 12 hour days! I realize this about myself, but often my selfish, anxious side beats out my logic and love.

This week, I’ve made it my goal to do better. I dished and cleaned on Monday, and got my house in order. I wrapped almost everything, minus the gifts that Brady  bought for people, and of course I came up with  few more to buy, so those are obviously not wrapped yet. I even had a dinner plan for when Brady got home. I know people may think these are small things, and every wife should do them. But I am far from perfect, and am now celebrating my accomplishments, however small they are.

Yesterday felt awesome. Its post was a little cranky, as I typed it very early after  poor sleep. I decided that, instead of pouting and trying to doze for hours, I would get up and run my day as usual, and hopefully have a good sleep the next night. So I did! I got up and did dishes. I’m really bad with keeping up with dishes, but I did it anyway. It felt nice to look around and see my house still in order. I have decided this week that I will get Dekker up as soon as I hear him start talking, since he has that crazy diaper rash that he is just not going to shake if he keeps sleeping so long. Well yesterday, I heard a cough at about 11:40am. I rushed in and, of course, he had pooped. I brought him to his change table and before I had even laid him down he was screaming and panicking. I don’t think we realize how painful diaper rash really is. I guess I should speak for myself. I don’t realize. So we had a big, messy, stepping in poop, kind of diaper change. I am ashamed to admit that those changes are the times when I lose my cool. Yelling “Stop it!” at my panicking baby is not going to relax him and make him feel safe. When he went down for his first nap, I felt exhausted and dumb. From there, I decided to change my tune. When he woke, I went right in and again, his room stunk. I played with him and sang to him, and we had a tear-free diaper change! Yes, his bum was covered in yeast, probably worse than I’ve ever seen it, but we sang and drummed and tickled and took our time. Fifteen minutes later, he was fine! He had a good yummy meal that I had ready for him in advance (booyah!) and then I got cocky. Dekker is pretty chill, but if you want to see him freak out, just run a tub. He hates the bath. As in screaming bloody murder kind of hatred. I figured I should try though, since I can’t remember the last occasion that we bathed him. He crawled into the bathroom and stood by the tub watching the bubbles. Yes, a bubble bath. I figured at least he’d get some soap on his body if he wouldn’t let me wash him. I climbed into the tub and brought him with me. He was very nervous and didn’t even want his feet in the water. So he stood on my legs and I just scooped water onto him with my hands. Every once in a while I’d get him to stand back on the floor of the tub, and he’d climb back onto my lap. Until he stopped! He stood in the bath, but still held on very tightly. So we sang and talked and I just used my hands to scoop water on his legs, back, and finally his hair. the little drops on his face didn’t seem to bother him too much this time, so we kept going. And then he sat down on my lap! All such small things to everyone reading this, but HUGE strides in our house. Bathing Dekker has started to feel like I’m abusing him 🙁 I am not, obviously, but he just HATES it. But he sat with me in the tub and chewed a closed bottle of shampoo while I bathed him. A tear free bath!!!!! I wrapped him in a big towel and carried him to his room, where he lay on the change table so his little bum could dry out on its own. Thank you for not peeing all over yourself, son! He got some new jammies on without a fight as well. Deks is going through a new stage where he is just very quick to cry. He’s pretty sensitive right now, so something like laying him down to put on jammies will make his cry. However, he’s started lifting up his legs to help us dress him! Its pretty adorable when he lift up the one foot, I get it into his sleeper, and it just keeps going higher and higher, instead of him lifting the other 🙂 We haven’t worked out all the kinks yet I guess. Buts its hilarious.

Anyway, that was a super long story! I felt very productive yesterday, but not in a way that I got a whole heap done. Just in the way that I did well in the few tasks that I completed. I felt like a better mom than I have in a while.

Dekker woke up last night for the first time in FOREVER! But I jumped at it, as a chance to change his diaper, so he could have a break from sitting in all his yuckies for so long. He woke up this morning shortly after 11am, and I ran in there before he could fall back to sleep. I changed his diaper (tear-free!!!) and fed him breakfast while, again, doing yesterdays dishes.

I’m really enjoying this feeling. I made the decision to accomplish more, so Brady doesn’t have to work all day and then come home and work more. I mean, he still does, because he has a family and a life and a house, but I can do a lot more than I do. So I’m trying to do it, and it feels good.

Dekker naps. Now what to do…